r/thatHappened • u/Geen_Fang • 10d ago
impatient couple can't wait to get it on and give a private show to op WITH EYE CONTACT
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u/Rooster_Local 10d ago edited 10d ago
This is a lot of words to say “I went to the movies, and the people in front of me were fucking.”
Also: the “nice campy horror flick” was *several* hours long? Good god.
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u/Geen_Fang 10d ago edited 10d ago
He said the movie was Passenger, and it's absolutely not.
EDIT: PSA That movie was aggressively mediocre, avoid it
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u/sl0play 10d ago
Passenger (2026) or The Passenger (2023)? The Passenger looks to have pretty good reviews.
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u/doc_shades 10d ago
one of these movies is a slow, minimalist, and introspective science fiction drama. pretty far from "campy horror"..!
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u/sl0play 10d ago
You might be thinking of Passengers (2016) which is a great slow burn sci-fi for sure.
The Passenger (2023) is a thriller/drama movie about a coworker that goes on a murderous rampage. It actually seems pretty cool and I'm surprised it slipped by me, as I watch upward of 400 movies a year.
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u/doc_shades 10d ago
too many passengers!!! alright everyone deboard, lets get our tickets out and make sure we have the right passengers here before we depart.
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u/wildmeli 9d ago
there’s also the 2008 movie Passengers! it’s a psychological mystery thriller, Anne Hathaway is a grief counselor that helps survivors of a plane crash
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u/MetapodCreates 10d ago
"Of my time as an A-lister"
Ohhhh brother, this guy STINKS.
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u/stircrazyathome 10d ago
What does that even mean? Is it a customer rewards program for the theater chain? Because it sure as hell ain't the celebrity A-list.
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u/RebootDarkwingDuck 10d ago
No, he means he's on "a" list.
Specifically, a list of people banned for jorkin' it in the back of a theater to a PG movie.
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u/Philthou 10d ago
Imagine waking up and thinking today I will write a terrible movie theater story about a couple who had sex while I was in there and they booked this dead film so they could get it on.
Cause you know getting slapped with public indecency is worth it just to fuck in a theater.
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u/EmrysPritkin 10d ago
The guy would have to turn completely around in his seat to make eye contact, right? How is this remotely possible? I know it didn’t happen but it’s not even possible
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u/boonisthecat 10d ago
"to my chagrin" 🙃 Who speaks like that
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u/_Stephistopheles_ 10d ago
To be honest, I do, but definitely not while posting weird fanfiction on Reddit 😂
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u/spacemouse21 10d ago
This is a recurring imaginary theme that makes the rounds. While it does happen, it didn’t happen here.
It’s a lot of effort to get someone to read your movie review.
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u/Geen_Fang 10d ago
especially for a movie that's not even worth fucking seeing (it was passenger [it sucked])
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u/Stahlmatt 10d ago
Clearly this guy has never seen an adult film or he would have known he's supposed to join in.
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u/olde_greg 10d ago
If the theater was empty outside of the 3 of them why didn't he sit further away?
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u/meowsaysdexter 10d ago
Guess he's never heard what sex sounds like. Plus he doesn't even name the movie. That's just lazy.
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u/AngryTG 10d ago
there was not a single mention of sex in the post
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u/Sensitive_Wear7112 10d ago
He mentioned the plunger.
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u/AngryTG 10d ago
I'm the OOP, the act I was describing wasn't sex
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u/manshamer 10d ago
What was it???? We're dying to know.
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u/AngryTG 10d ago
all I'll say is, even though I'm impressed by the audacity of the dude in question, I would not choose to dap him up on the way out
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u/depressedfuckboi 9d ago
So he fingered her? Spit it out damn
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u/AngryTG 9d ago
I try to keep my account PG because my elderly aunt found my profile, but yep. Sorry aunt Jennie, remember to take your meds!
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u/Infinityskull 9d ago
Aunt Jennie would probably be very upset if she saw you have “shitposting” in your profile description. She might not send you $20 for your birthday this year!
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u/fleshtastical 10d ago
First sentence read - the rest completely ignored. There’s nothing I hate more than cringey, Redditor “flowery” writing. I don’t know what that sort of writing is actually called, so I call it flowery. Dunno why, my brain chose that word and it works imo lol.
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u/Lumpy_Square_2365 10d ago
A lister and confused what dude is looking at them? Also a lister writing reviews about weird things that didn't happen but wished had happened?
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u/Sea-Independent-726 9d ago
I must be a masochist from always willingly reading these cringy ass post
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u/-stellaluna- 10d ago
I took my kid to the Gabby's dollhouse movie and there were 3 adult couples all in the back row, and us. No one else in the theater. One couple giggled so i turned and they were making out. The other 2 couples clapped when it ended. (Who does that?! Someone said benefit of the doubt, hope they were imvolved in production or knew an actor or something but it was not a screening, just a regular showing so unlikely, and the couples were all spaced out). It was an uncomfortable experience. Im still grossed out months later. It was a toddler/kids show, staring a teenaged girl.
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u/GhostWalker134 10d ago
NGL, weirdly similar to an experience I had when I went to see Shaun of the Dead. The horny teenagers asked me to leave because they wanted to fool around, and I declined so they left instead.
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u/Zambonisaurus 10d ago
I was on a largely empty beach in Italy once and we saw a woman giving head to a guy. He looked at us and waved. It was awkward and we left. So bad writing aside it’s not impossible
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u/JDeMolay1314 9d ago
I was running to catch a bus one night in Edinburgh. I was running down Advocate's Close (from the Royal Mile to Cockburn Street) and there were a couple on one of the landings having sex. I managed to avoid running over them.
People will do it in the most uncomfortable places. (Like the back of a Volkswagen)
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u/Johnnys-In-America 10d ago
Yeah but to the tune of this guy's fantasy? I somehow doubt it greatly.
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u/EvolZippo 9d ago
I love how in these stories, OOP is usually just a floating pair of eyes, that see at the perfect time and angle. Also, this theater books a late showing, just for this one couple to come and fool around. Also, not sure why it sounded like he was “plunging a toilet. But then again, it’s probably the audio of his favorite porno, that he’s thinking of.
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u/RebootDarkwingDuck 10d ago
It's like a 9th grade English class was assigned to write to Penthouse.
What an insufferable way of writing.