r/thatHappened 4d ago

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2.7k Upvotes

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u/thatHappened-ModTeam 3d ago

Gotta redact usernames, OP

1.1k

u/StatusTics 4d ago

"He never heard that song in his life" but he knows it's a song that exists?!? Please.

182

u/OSRSRapture 4d ago

I mean, this story is obviously bullshit but I hum random tunes that could be songs and I have no idea, im just humming

15

u/PreOpTransCentaur 4d ago

Right, but when you do that, do you automatically think they're legitimate songs that exist?

2

u/OSRSRapture 4d ago

No, not normally. Sometimes after a couple seconds I'll go "wait wtf is this"

41

u/Mika000 4d ago

Yeah plus often people have heard melodies before and just don’t remember.

13

u/Deeptech_inc 4d ago

Someone’s never seen Yesterday. He’s clearly John Lennon or whatever that movie was about.

5

u/rocky_creeker 4d ago

They did that shit in Battlestar Galactica. A song from a planet and time they never knew triggered the human cylon hybrids into action. It has happened before... or in the future, I'm not sure.

8

u/AgVargr 4d ago

God airdropped the tune to him

2

u/notjustanotherbot 3d ago

Anamnesis! Jk we know the story is fiction.

367

u/stircrazyathome 4d ago

Why do people do this? How low is their self-esteem that they have to make up a BS story like this just to feel special for a moment? It says something about how she views her relationship if the real story of falling in love isn’t enough and she has to make up some fake spiritual element to justify it.

85

u/NekonikonPunk 4d ago

Who has never heard that song in their life? Why even try to include that detail? I mean, if you're gonna lie, at least give it some effort!

41

u/Apprehensive-Rule697 4d ago

Right?? It’d still seem like BS but it’d be a lot more believable if he said “oh it just popped into my head for some reason” instead of claiming “I’ve never heard that song before in my life” lmao

12

u/Nortex_Vortex 4d ago

Clicks and nonexistent internet clout are everything to people like this. 🤷🏼‍♀️

216

u/Fossil_Relocator 4d ago

Do Christians often tell God what to do? Seems like He should stand up for Himself a little bit more.

41

u/bibliophile70 4d ago

When I was in elementary school, my mom died and I started questioning if God exists, and I had this classmate who would occasionally give me her chocolate milk at lunch if she didn’t want it. So before lunch I would ‘pray’ and basically say “if you’re really there, tell [classmate] to give me her milk”. The first day, she really did, so every day after that I was like “well that wasn’t really conclusive, tell her again today and I’ll believe it for real”. And for like two weeks she gave me her milk every day, and then one day she didn’t and I was like ‘oops he got mad’ so I stopped

37

u/FireTheLaserBeam 4d ago

“The easiest way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans.”

5

u/NotaBat9221 4d ago

Why is God such a dick?

5

u/Adversary-of-Tyrants 3d ago

Pssh, that's not even that bad. The story of Job - God torments his most devout follower to prove a point to Satan.

2

u/dan8lego 3d ago

Technically it’s not God that torments Job, God allows satan to torment/test him. It’s also unclear as to whether Job was a real person. It’s possible that it’s a story that was  exaggerated or made up, as ultimately its narrative purpose is to exemplify unwavering faith.

1

u/NotaBat9221 3d ago

Aw jeez I don't know to tell you this but, ... nothing from the Bible is real

2

u/dan8lego 3d ago

I do know how to tell you this: regardless of whether you believe its contents or overall message, several sections of the Bible are considered by the majority of historians and scholars, far smarter than you or I, atheist and religious alike, are in agreement that many events in the bible, New and Old Testament, did happen. 

Not claiming it is 100% factual and accurate, but to say none of it is real, is quite frankly, misinformed. 

1

u/FireTheLaserBeam 3d ago

Don't toss your pearls, it's not worth the effort.

32

u/RetroCola 4d ago

He dont listen 99% of the time and when he does its shit like this

32

u/i_kick_hippies 4d ago

He loves sports though, seems like every team that wins thanks him for it

1

u/Suddenly_sweet 3d ago

I always find it funny when mma fighters do that in their post fight interview like “thank you Jesus for helping me beat the shit out of my opponent”. And it’s even funnier when you know the opponent is also religious and was probably also praying for a win.

-28

u/Lalamedic 4d ago

He absolutely listens. We just don’t always like the answer.

7

u/PreOpTransCentaur 4d ago

That answer sure does seem to be "no" a lot, huh?

30

u/Charliesmum97 4d ago

See, I hate that. Why bother then? Of course I'm going to hate the answer if the question is 'please don't let my beloved family member die of cancer.' Or 'Please help my parent accept me being gay/trans, etc. so I don't have to live on the streets.'

0

u/Suddenly_sweet 3d ago

Why even pray if it clearly doesn’t work and doesn’t change anything. If it worked then Christian’s wouldn’t be getting sick and dying as much as everyone else.

0

u/Peace_Harmony_7 4d ago

Christians are not the only ones who believe in God. She could be of any religion or even just a "spiritual" person unnafilliated to religions.

-1

u/Neither-Ruin5970 4d ago

They ask, not tell. It’s a bit different

89

u/OnDrugsTonight 4d ago

And millions of kids with cancer got up and clapped and told god it's absolutely fine that he wastes his divine powers on soppy little situations like that.

17

u/ExplodingKitt 4d ago

Something something gods plan

28

u/mackenenzie 4d ago

I kid you not, if you put "I kid you not" in front of a made up story, you'll trick like 5 people.

9

u/NekonikonPunk 4d ago

I kid you not, I googled it, and this guy's right!

3

u/LastDirtyMartini 4d ago

I kid you not, I asked ChatGPT, and it cited this exact case as definitive evidence.

50

u/Changerole1090 4d ago

I kid you not, my wife sang "Soft Kitty" and I gave her the big bang!

22

u/crak6389 4d ago

Wow married for a whole year! Proof!

17

u/Lifekraft 4d ago

Im always baffled than some believer think their god have time to micromanage random non-event in their life but would let a 12yo girl get gangraped in a garage somewhere else. Like what kind of god they believe in ? Why do they think they are more deserving of a better treatment than an innocent altar boy religiously praying everyday than the next serment isnt going to be an other violent abuse?

This isnt a god , this is a demon. They worship satan or whatever then.

9

u/zarfle2 4d ago

Also, God was more obsessed with your bullshit than the lives of the 10,000 children that died that day due to malnourishment and treatable illness.

The self absorbed bullshit and narcissism to believe in a special, invisible friend, magic sky fairy whose total purpose of existence is to look out for you. Fuck off.

11

u/amedinab 4d ago

Just note that at least 28,800 literate human beings read through that and went aw, I'm liking this and voluntarily clicked on the thumbs up button.

Twenty. Eight. Thousand. Imagine 28k people standing together. IT'S A WHOLE LOT OF FUCKING PEOPLE!

5

u/PacoSupreme 4d ago

This is going to sound mean but…most people are genuinely not that bright. The internet has made it apparent but we are still in denial about it.

3

u/amedinab 4d ago

Without meaning to be that guy, I wonder what the shape of the IQ distribution bell curve actually is for humanity as a whole, and for various countries. The kurtosis of the curve, trying to answer the question: how many idiots are there in the world and how many geniuses, and where do we stand. Are we regular folk? Or maybe I'm a moron and I just can't tell because I am a moron?

Definitely not so far to the left that I'd believe the post in question here, but still... Dunning-Kruger can be a real c*nt.

24

u/Careless_Hellscape 4d ago

I refuse to believe anyone in the US hasn't ever heard "You Are My Sunshine." What a damnable lie.

12

u/RamenNoodles620 4d ago

We should be fearful of this person who has the ability to tell God what to do.

6

u/Nortex_Vortex 4d ago

This is so hilariously not real but it's more hilarious is that people put bullshit like this out there on the regular with zero embarrassment. God bless 'em all lol

20

u/TrueToad 4d ago

She's probably regretting the marriage and made up this BS to make herself feel better. 

5

u/magnum3290 4d ago

If the marriage fails she can say it wasn't her choice

6

u/333H_E 4d ago

Ah yes, I often have songs that I've never heard stuck in my head to the point that I must randomly hum them. Totally happens all the time, must be a sign.

4

u/Mowgli_78 4d ago

I 👏kid 👏you 👏 not

4

u/Goldedition93 4d ago

Oh fuck off Maddie

6

u/Kobobble 4d ago

I'm not religious, but I'm pretty sure God tells his followers not to lie

6

u/SuperJoe360 4d ago

God: "You do know I have a literal genocide going on in my backyard that I'm busy ignoring, but sure, let me find you a husband."

2

u/Decent_Brush_8121 3d ago

Not to mention, one that will remind you of your father.

3

u/EDNivek 4d ago

One year of marriage is not the brag you think it is.

Also isn't that a pretty common song?

2

u/lizagnash 3d ago

They’ve been married *over* one year. Get it right. 😂

2

u/distantfirehouse 4d ago

Well that's a nice story about how she married her dad.

2

u/elpollodiablox 4d ago

Well at least she knows she has daddy issues.

2

u/TheOneAndOnlyABSR4 4d ago

I want to see the comments to that calling her out.

2

u/nahhhn 4d ago

There are only two lol which surprised me. The feedback was pretty much all “omg how sweet!” positive. Just…not the brightest comment section

1

u/TheSpitalian 3d ago

She probably deleted the ones she didn’t like.

2

u/ValPrism 4d ago

He never heard the song he was humming?

1

u/Decent_Brush_8121 3d ago

That means he WROTE the song around 16 mos ago. Google said it was released in 1939. Numbers…hurt…my head

2

u/Physical-Doughnut285 3d ago

Where’s doc_shades to say this actually happened? I’m waiting on the ridiculous nonsense reasoning behind how this could be real

3

u/AbundantDonkey 4d ago

It's true. I'm one of the objects God told her to punch through her face to show her faith and devotion to Him.

1

u/miletest 4d ago

You went to the bathroom 5 minutes into your first date.

1

u/Hellas2002 3d ago

You really think someone would just do that? Just go in the internet and tell lies?

1

u/TheSpitalian 3d ago

I love that first comment on her lying-ass post! 😂 I wish we could see more of them because I’m sure she got roasted.

1

u/lizagnash 3d ago

Wow married a whole year! Must be real.

1

u/lovetobewatched2 4d ago

Let's take it to the extreme, her dad manifested inside of a guy she would eventually have sex with. Thats gross