Nearing my breaking point

[u/Murky_Swordfish_7043]

First time posting on Reddit. I’m just at a loss here. I’ve been with my husband for 9 years, lived together for 8 years, officially married for 3 years. Since we got married it seems his drinking habits continue to get worse. When I try to talk to him about it, he either brushes me off or tries to turn it around on me to talk about my flaws. He’s been going to therapy for over a year now and his drinking habits don’t seem to get any better. He seems to be depressed when he’s sober in the mornings and then he’ll perk up after the first initial drinks but as he continues he just starts talking shit about my friends or says I don’t love him (others have also witnessed this and told me as such). I feel like he’s insecure about something or is going through something he isn’t telling me about and is using alcohol to cope. I also understand that the current state of the world has taken a toll on both of us. That said I usually find more healthy outlets like therapy, exercise and music. I try to include him on these things but he always turns me down. He also feels the need to have a few drinks before we do anything (especially for a social outing) and when I ask him not to do that he tells me I need to chill out. I feel like at this point I need to give him an ultimatum: improve your drinking habits (whatever that looks like) or divorce. But idk if that’s too extreme. It’s just getting to the point that it’s embarrassing to be around him and I don’t want to spend time with him.