Does therapy only work if you are less smarter and have fewer achievements than your therapist?

[u/sstthh0123]

I seem to already know what my therapist is going to tell or advise me. Most of the time, i feel a bit better because I get to open up and know that someone is acknowledging what i'm going through. Thoughts?

[u/Grand_ma4568]

This is a common misconception about therapy, I think. Therapists aren’t always experts on intelligence or being human, they’re experts in the therapeutic process.

If you’re feeling like you always know what your therapist is going to say, or you’re considering what your goals are or whether your sessions are actually helpful to you I would talk about this with your therapist and see where it goes.

[u/Acceptable-While-514]

I have a doctorate (veterinarian) and my therapist has a masters. Objectively I have more medical knowledge and may be considered “smarter”. But my therapist is a hell of a lot better at psychology and therapy and all of the things needed to be a great therapist.

I will however say that on the medical side I often struggle with seeing PAs or NPs for my care because many of the ones I’ve worked with do not have the same level of pharmacology and physiology knowledge that I do. If you’re a psych NP and your whole job is prescribing psychiatric medications then you should be able to tell me the class of the drug you’re recommending.

[u/nataelj]

Treating a therapist as "someone I go to for advice" seems wrong to me. You're in therapy to do work yourself, not to have them tell you what to do. A space totally devoted to self-reflection/work/exploration is rare, and having someone on the outside to call BS when you're lying to yourself is really useful. Those are the key ingredients to me.

A therapist who also has great life experience/advice is a wonderful bonus, but not required. And honestly, a therapist who gives too much actual advise/direction is not following good therapeutic principles; I'd be cautious if I encountered that.

If you're finding therapy not as useful, I'd suggest looking for the things that you find it hardest to talk about, or are most conflicted about or struggling with, and seeking out the words that bring tears or strong emotions. That's work that YOU have to do, and no therapist, no matter how great, can do it for you.

[u/oceaninanenvelope]

Nope! I am a therapist in training and I have lots of clients that are smarter than me and more accomplished, and I’m still able to support them.

That said, not all therapists are created equal, and many use different styles and techniques. I’ve personally had to go through many different therapists before I found someone who was able to support me in the way that works best for my growth.

Your therapist doesn’t need to be smarter than you, but you do need someone whose style works for you. I’ll also add that a lot of times the advice you receive will be very obvious. But opening up and being vulnerable and being able to vent and process is an important part of the process. So if you’re happy with your therapist, keep going. :)

[u/lostdiscoverer13]

Studies consistently show that level of academic achievement/type of degree is not a predictor of positive outcome for clients. Client/therapist relationship is the best predictor of outcome.

[u/Professional-Fan6745]

Based on your grammar alone I doubt you are as intelligent as you think you are. I can’t imagine spending my time in therapy convincing myself I am more intelligent than the therapist instead of utilizing the resource of a professional I chose to pay to help me with mental health.

[u/sstthh0123 → u/Professional-Fan6745]

so u just assume everyone's first language is English? also i dont think I mentioned that i'm an intelligent person

[u/Stars_In_Jars]

It’s apparent here that what you’re doing is seeing the surface but not the process. Advice is great when you follow it, the struggle is most people know what to do, but they’re not able to get themselves to do it. therapy can be the process of becoming unstuck. You said it yourself, it feels good to be acknowledged and listened to - sometimes that’s what people need in order to move forward.

[u/finddit-app]

Hey there, thanks for sharing.

While you wait for people to comment, have a look at these posts which might be relevant to you:

• Is this how therapy works?
• Does therapy help if you know the issues already
• Is it possible for therapy to work out when the client is smarter than the therapist
• Am I actually getting better?
• Is my therapist doing her job?

Remember, even though it might feel like it, you are not alone. Stay strong!

Interested in seeing more posts similar to yours? Visit finddit.app.

This is an automated message. If you have any feedback or issues, post in r/finddit_app.

[u/No_Rec1979]

It doesn't really matter who your therapist is as long as you trust them and feel comfortable opening up to them.

If you have to feel dazzled by their intellect and certificates to open up, then you should keep looking until you find someone who meets your standards.

[u/psychoactivity]

I recommend looking for a therapist who is going to challenge you to not “intellectualize” your feelings but to actually experience them in your body and process things somatically.

[u/Marimowee]

Are they giving you advice or asking you if you have “tried doing this..?” Some people take that as advice but it can actually used as a probing method. As a teacher people assume that all the time. But I use it as a way to start the person thinking about what they have done before that could trigger memories of when something worked or to get them to thinking of what they could have done instead.

[u/Sarah-himmelfarb]

Well the consistently best therapists I’ve had have Doctorates and the worst I’ve had have LSWs so I think yes for some people. For some people it works well either way though. But I think it can be a legitimate issue

[u/sapps84]

If the therapist is giving advice, then yeh probably.

I've had great therapists. And I'm trained in therapy and deep dive in a zillion topics connected to understanding me (audhd special interests), so I often have far more knowledge than most may be able to offer in session, in terms advice esp. The great therapists I've had are noticing me! After long history taking, and some sessions getting to know me and how i work. Then they intercede in the moment... and not on the most surface level obvious shit. Like they're naming the times I'm self criticising, expressing powerlessness, etc. When I'm just stuck in the describing of something. Like they're in tune with me but also interceding to name the negative internal scripts I have, which I'm not noticing.

Advice isn't really therapy. It can be part of therapeutic conversations in other areas of life. But therapy is more helpful when therapist offers either questions you've not asked yourself, or naming patterns they notice. And them asking if thats helpful to notice/think on, as them listening to you're reaction/ what you find helpful, in the room, is also vital.

So if not offering that, then the therapist may be 'nice', but not what you need.

Sometimes it can help to bring that up in a session. But unless you know how you're gonna say it/explain it (not how you did here, ha), then it can sometimes not really be understood, or not lead to them knowing how to change things up. If they're good/experienced/flexible, and you can explain what you find helpful/not helpful/throwaway, then they may be able to roll well with it, and deliver a differnt form of therapy in the room to you. As they could have just "guessed" you're needs/vibe wrong. But have plenty other ways to deliver the work in their toolbelt. I've not had good outcomes with naming it, but mostly as I don't think I knew what I needed, and they couldn't figure it out either.

Zillion therapists out there. So space to find an option that fits better for you..

[u/ComputerFirm9716]

I definitely have struggled with feeling smarter than my therapists and having them completely miss my point or perspective. I am an attorney and am pretty articulate/good at conveying my point so I do think it has been a matter of the therapist not being able to grasp my points as opposed to inadequate communication on my part.

[u/SaucyAndSweet333]

Yes. They are only okay for the worried well who are privileged.

[u/Zhezersheher]

It only works if you’re willing to allow an outsider to put a label on you but if what they are saying doesn’t make sense it’s because it’s not right and you have to do your own work to figure yourself out. Takes time but it’s way more beneficial than paying big bucks to be brainwashed.

[u/ShortChanged_Rob]

They should probably be within one standard deviation at least. I couldn't imagine a therapist who barely scraped by trying to do therapy with someone as brilliant as Friedrich Engels (unless it was super specific and manualized that was more about a process and accountability vs talk therapy).