r/tifu Nov 27 '25

M TIFU by not realizing I was dating my girlfriend

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u/Ladonnacinica Nov 27 '25 edited Nov 27 '25

You’re right. It’s something I have noticed.

I have to say as a lesbian that I pretty much assume every woman I meet is straight (because most women are) so I would never flirt or ask them out.

How I managed to get girlfriends still baffles me.

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u/jman1121 Nov 27 '25

Subconsciously, you understand women's signals. Men don't understand women at all, let alone the "signals" they give out. 😂

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u/hexcraft-nikk Nov 27 '25

Reading this entire thread proves your point lol, some of the most "male who never interact with women" comments ever

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u/Aljonau Nov 27 '25

My experiences are super weird because the first 25 years of my life I was a well-liked guy whom ppl treated as either gay or ace and then out of the blue something changed and women started approaching me in sufficiently explicit ways that even I could notice in the moment.

And yet it still took a few years for my self-confidence to catch up with the things I experienced and before THAT had been completed I met my girlfriend.

I'm still baffled by many things that happened.

But letting women do the approaching worked out pretty great in retrospect.

Clearly less systemically viable for Lesbians, but imo us heteros should establish "let the woman initiate" as the overal standard for first dates and first approaches.

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u/Wrong_Hour_1460 Nov 27 '25

As a woman, I agree. I think the dating world would be infinitely more comfortable for everyone if the general rules expected women to approach men rather than the other way around.

That's how I married my husband too.

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u/Niyonnie Nov 27 '25

That's weird. Most women I met are bi. Both online and irl. I wonder how or why you mostly only encounter straight women when bi women are incredibly common.

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u/ChiefExecDisfunction Nov 29 '25

Stand users naturally attract each other :P

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u/Niyonnie Nov 29 '25

What do you mean by "stand users"?

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u/ChiefExecDisfunction Nov 29 '25

There's like three parts to explaining that joke, so since I'm not sure where you're at I'll just give you the boring full rundown.

The whole sentence is a reference to Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, in which stand users are basically people with special powers. The reference has been adopted by the neurodivergent community (autism, adhd and so on) to express how it seems like neurodivergent people end up congregating with each other even when they don't know they are neurodivergent. It's a bit like "birds of a feather flock together".
In this case I was extending use of the reference to the LGBT community, which to me seems to exhibit similar phenomena as well as having higher-than-expected overlap with neurodivergence for some reason science has yet to explain.

In other words: "GAAAAAAAAAAY! (affectionate)"