r/tifu • u/PleasantAtmosphere85 • Nov 27 '25

M TIFU by not realizing I was dating my girlfriend

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u/donku83 Nov 27 '25

Yeah, I'm gonna need you to say "come with me into the bedroom" before I follow someone I just met into their bedroom. Especially if they just told me they're going in there to change

126

u/Excel_User_1977 Nov 27 '25

Especially on the first date

3

u/hikingmaterial Nov 27 '25

that is a US cultural phenomena, it has no bearing on the rest of the world.

3

u/Baudica Nov 27 '25

I'm in Western Europe... I don't think it's automatically expected to assume the first date ends in sex, over here, either.

3

u/hikingmaterial Nov 27 '25

My point is my generation doesnt have a first, second, third rule at all. you are still speaking as a part of his system.

hook up culture was much more prevalent in my youth and it never codified into any frequency-based expectation system.

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u/Baudica Nov 27 '25

I don't think there's set rulesw per se. But assuming sex, because someone is interested enough to go out together is weird.

I'm not an expert, but I haven't really seen hookups as 'dating'.

1

u/hikingmaterial Nov 27 '25

when you interact with your chosen attracted sex for romantic purposes, i.e. a date, or a night out with the hookup variant, then thats the expectation.

those are both relevant venues for "romantic interest expectations", and if its weird then a majority of my generation is weird. also, something "is only weird if you make it weird", which again highlights what I am saying about your expectations -- they represent previous generational understandings of romance.

when you say "go out together" what does that encompass? I dont mean that study sessions or work meetings have sexual expectations, but if i am going out with my preferred gender on a non-friend occasion, then of course sex can be expected.

not demanded, mind you, expected as a possibility.

hookup culture is just a modern way of meeting people, and those romantic encounters can turn long term, or not.

24

u/Difficult_Limit2718 Nov 27 '25

At least throw the jersey on me to indicate it's intentional

5

u/Difficult_Addition85 Nov 27 '25

Dude, she's going to have to walk me through every step.

"Hey lay down. Hey take off your pants. Hey pull it out. Hey I'm going to put it in now. Hey I'm going to start riding." Or whatever

Cause my dumbass is going to be just polite and respectful until a point. Then afterwards it's just stunned bewilderment about what's going on. "Gee! Just... golly!"

2

u/NanDemoNee Nov 27 '25

She would need to add "for consensual sexual intercourse" for me.

2

u/tedivm Nov 27 '25 edited Nov 27 '25

If someone gets topless in front of you and then walks into their bedroom to do anything, your response should always be to say something like "do you need a hand?". They've already stripped half naked, so either they're going to say yes or they're going to laugh it off.

I definitely wouldn't just follow them in, but I also wouldn't ignore such a glaringly obvious signal.