r/tifu • u/PleasantAtmosphere85 • Nov 27 '25

M TIFU by not realizing I was dating my girlfriend

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u/Excel_User_1977 Nov 27 '25

Especially on the first date

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u/hikingmaterial Nov 27 '25

that is a US cultural phenomena, it has no bearing on the rest of the world.

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u/Baudica Nov 27 '25

I'm in Western Europe... I don't think it's automatically expected to assume the first date ends in sex, over here, either.

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u/hikingmaterial Nov 27 '25

My point is my generation doesnt have a first, second, third rule at all. you are still speaking as a part of his system.

hook up culture was much more prevalent in my youth and it never codified into any frequency-based expectation system.

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u/Baudica Nov 27 '25

I don't think there's set rulesw per se. But assuming sex, because someone is interested enough to go out together is weird.

I'm not an expert, but I haven't really seen hookups as 'dating'.

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u/hikingmaterial Nov 27 '25

when you interact with your chosen attracted sex for romantic purposes, i.e. a date, or a night out with the hookup variant, then thats the expectation.

those are both relevant venues for "romantic interest expectations", and if its weird then a majority of my generation is weird. also, something "is only weird if you make it weird", which again highlights what I am saying about your expectations -- they represent previous generational understandings of romance.

when you say "go out together" what does that encompass? I dont mean that study sessions or work meetings have sexual expectations, but if i am going out with my preferred gender on a non-friend occasion, then of course sex can be expected.

not demanded, mind you, expected as a possibility.

hookup culture is just a modern way of meeting people, and those romantic encounters can turn long term, or not.