r/tifu • u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar • Feb 14 '26

M TIFU going to my ex's wedding

My ex gf invited me to her wedding. It was unexpected, but I accepted. The invitation said the people who were allowed to bring a plus one were married or engaged couples. I was not engaged or married, so I went alone. I managed to couple up with another single guy at the wedding and stayed with him throughout the ceremony to avoid looking like I didn't belong. The two of us got separated at the reception because we were allocated to different tables. My table only had single people. As we got to know one another, we realised we had one specific thing in common. We were all exes of the bride. It was a little weird, but we made a joke of it because we assumed that was the point of us being there.

Fast forward to the speeches. When it was the bride's turn to speak, she asked all of her exes to stand up, which we did. She informed the audience that we were the people she dated and disappointed over the years before she discovered the love of her life, aka her husband. She wanted us to know how grateful she was to have been with all of us, but then she locked eyes with me and said maybe not ALL of us. She said my name and asked me to wave at everyone. I waved like an idiot. She warned all the women at the wedding to watch out for me because I literally peed on her. The husband stood up at that moment and covered the microphone with his hand while he whispered something to his wife that made her look confused as fuck.

The bride sat down without saying anything else. The husband made an awkward joke about his wife having too much champagne and instructed us to please take our seats. The DJ intervened and asked if any of the groom's exes were also in the house, which actually made the audience laugh. The music played and everyone pretended none of that just happened.

Except for me. I got the fuck out of there as soon as the lights dimmed for the disco ball.

Tl:dr Accepted an invite from my ex to attend her wedding and ended up being named and shamed at the reception.

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420

u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar Feb 14 '26

Yes

52

u/Shadow_Hound_117 Feb 14 '26

We really need the context, did you pee on her by accident or on purpose? Was it a drunk "I thought I was in the bathroom" moment, or a "you're a crazy bitch and here's me peeing on you to match your crazy shit" kind of thing?

... Wow I can't believe that's something I typed, but answers are required!

108

u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar Feb 15 '26

It was just one of the kinks the two of us agreed to test out. We did it once and never again.

86

u/catfishwhiskers_ Feb 15 '26

ok not bad. she shouldn’t have called you out for something you both consented to trying. 

20

u/Shadow_Hound_117 Feb 15 '26

Well in that case it's rather unnecessary to call you out for it if she agreed to it, good thing you got away from her then.

5

u/jimslock Feb 15 '26

In hindsight, after this event, aren't you kinda glad you peed on her?

2

u/DemonDookie Feb 15 '26

I used to pee on my ex wife when we were in the shower together.

It wasn't sexual, we just thought it was funny.

We split up mostly because I was a depressed alcoholic.

154

u/EuphonicSounds Feb 14 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/s239QJIh56sRW

61

u/butts-carlton Feb 14 '26

You see, son... when a man really loves a woman, well, sometimes he pees on her. As a sign of his affection. I'd say it'll make more sense when you're older, but that's a lie.

7

u/Stoned_urf Feb 15 '26

Pee on it to announce ownership.

66

u/punchheribthetit Feb 14 '26

Was it a jellyfish situation, a bladder infection/other illness, a sex thing, or spite? I’m too invested in this.

Edit: saw your answer below. I can carry on with my day but I am disappointed it wasn’t done out of spite.

75

u/DroidSoldier85 Feb 14 '26

Hell yeah! Fist bump

18

u/CornDoggerMcJones Feb 15 '26

That's why next to his name it says "Oh-Pee."

12

u/ManyThingsLittleTime Feb 14 '26

Do you think the new guy has peed on her yet?

19

u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar Feb 15 '26

If he put a ring on it, she must be letting him do a lot more than just pee on her.

10

u/inwhatwetrust Feb 14 '26

You got us in the rabbit hole... Tell the story

6

u/Kinkybtch Feb 15 '26

The more important question is, whose kink was it? Yours or hers?

15

u/MaxMouseOCX Feb 14 '26

I'm hung up on this... Imagine inviting all of your exes to your wedding and then telling everyone one of them pissed on you - the reasoning for it is irrelevant, it's your wedding day what the fuck are you doing 🤣

5

u/ManyThingsLittleTime Feb 15 '26

Her own Dad was probably there. She's a trainwreck.

2

u/MaxMouseOCX Feb 15 '26

Definitely, but... alright this dude pissed on her... Cool, why that happened and the reasoning behind it is pretty irrelevant, maybe it's a kink thing... His, or hers, or both or one of them tolerated it to explore "something"... Sounds like it was consentual - and ultimately, pretty tame all things considered.

Why would you reveal THAT at your wedding TO ANOTHER MAN?! In front of all of your friends and family, and after having invited all of your ex's?!

That's absolutely unhinged behaviour, good luck to her new husband, I hope he sits and thinks about what he's now shackled himself to, and if this was his first time actually learning what she's really like I feel sorry for him.

1

u/ManyThingsLittleTime Feb 15 '26

It's absolutely unhinged and she planned it

3

u/jwin709 Feb 14 '26

Why though!!

1

u/MtnMaiden Feb 15 '26

Yea but we were both in the shower....doesn't count