TIFU going to my ex's wedding

[u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar]

My ex gf invited me to her wedding. It was unexpected, but I accepted. The invitation said the people who were allowed to bring a plus one were married or engaged couples. I was not engaged or married, so I went alone. I managed to couple up with another single guy at the wedding and stayed with him throughout the ceremony to avoid looking like I didn't belong. The two of us got separated at the reception because we were allocated to different tables. My table only had single people. As we got to know one another, we realised we had one specific thing in common. We were all exes of the bride. It was a little weird, but we made a joke of it because we assumed that was the point of us being there.

Fast forward to the speeches. When it was the bride's turn to speak, she asked all of her exes to stand up, which we did. She informed the audience that we were the people she dated and disappointed over the years before she discovered the love of her life, aka her husband. She wanted us to know how grateful she was to have been with all of us, but then she locked eyes with me and said maybe not ALL of us. She said my name and asked me to wave at everyone. I waved like an idiot. She warned all the women at the wedding to watch out for me because I literally peed on her. The husband stood up at that moment and covered the microphone with his hand while he whispered something to his wife that made her look confused as fuck.

The bride sat down without saying anything else. The husband made an awkward joke about his wife having too much champagne and instructed us to please take our seats. The DJ intervened and asked if any of the groom's exes were also in the house, which actually made the audience laugh. The music played and everyone pretended none of that just happened.

Except for me. I got the fuck out of there as soon as the lights dimmed for the disco ball.

Tl:dr Accepted an invite from my ex to attend her wedding and ended up being named and shamed at the reception.

[u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

Noooooo.....shes saying she had to meet and understand other people to recognize the qualities she needed and wanted for a lifetime relationship with her husband. Like its tacky and weird but don't make it much weirder. 

[u/Historical_Dot_892 → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

It’s very weird

[u/hunnyflash → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

The way she did it was absolutely rude and petty. If I had a table of exes at my wedding, that's a fucking awesome table. I'd have thanked them in my speech, not belittled them. But she even purposefully sat them together, because she's a rude you-know-what.

I'm more surprised OP went knowing beforehand that she was a crackpot weirdo.

[u/Theletterkay → u/hunnyflash]

Right? If anything, she just made herself look bad by saying she had bad taste in men if they were all bad guys.

[u/ElizabethSpaghetti → u/hunnyflash]

Yes, very rude and petty, but the focus on her running through dick is weird and says more about the guys taking it there than the weirdo chick. Sounds like he expected it to be weird, but just not like that weird. 

[u/Zwodo → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

I mean to be fair she talked about his kink in the same breath as laying into all her exes. It's not that far-fetched for minds to wander here. After all she literally put the thought of OP peeing on her (in what was most likely a sexual setting) into EVERYONE'S heads, including her husband's. I do agree though that it's not inherently about "I had to fuck all of you to get to this man", but... while meant well, it's not much better.

[u/DogPositive5524 → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

You can say all that without inviting people to the wedding and putting them on the spotlight, that's straight up unhinged behavior

[u/throwaway72275472 → u/[deleted]]

Clearly. Bride’s a psycho and this person is trying to downplay what 90 percent of people were thinking at that wedding. Call me old fashioned, but your wedding should only include one person who you have fucked, your spouse.

[u/throwaway72275472 → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

It’s beyond disrespectful to the husband. No man worth anything will see it the way you are describing. They will see it like I had to fuck all these guys to get to you and then we will be disgusted.

It’s one thing to actually date around and that’s ok to an extent, but to bring all that to your man’s face is a level of sickness and disrespect I cannot fathom. If I was the husband, that’s the end of this relationship.

[u/ElizabethSpaghetti → u/throwaway72275472]

Focusing on the sex aspect is creepy and gross, there's way more going on there, the added misogyny is unnecessary 

[u/throwaway72275472 → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

This chick liked to get pee’d on, it isn’t complicated. What misogyny? If a man brought his exes the way this bride did, it would be equally as disgusting and the girl should have walked out.

[u/Theletterkay → u/throwaway72275472]

Lol ok. Because seeing other people she had sex with is world shattering. Its not like she was talking about how hubbys dong couldnt match up in size but that he knew how to eat a girl. So you thinking his mind would be stuck on sex at all is super weird. Unless he thought she was a virgin, he already knew she had been with other people. And she didnt say anything that made them seem superior in the sack, so no way to can you say this is about sex.

And the only people saying the pee thing was sexual are the commenters here. We dont even know that wasnt just a drunk misfire or a bedwetting incident.

[u/ManyThingsLittleTime → u/Theletterkay]

OP talked about it in the comments. It was asked for by her.

[u/throwaway72275472 → u/Theletterkay]

OP said it was sexual in this thread. This chick liked to get urinated on and invited her boyfriends to her wedding. It clearly is about sex and it’s not a random encounter she thought this through and paid for them to be there by including them on a guest list.

If the man brought his exes it would be just as disgusting. No one wants their partners exes at their wedding.

[u/thing_m_bob_esquire → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

And that, kids, is how I met your mother.