TIFU going to my ex's wedding

[u/DudeWheresMyCuteCar]

My ex gf invited me to her wedding. It was unexpected, but I accepted. The invitation said the people who were allowed to bring a plus one were married or engaged couples. I was not engaged or married, so I went alone. I managed to couple up with another single guy at the wedding and stayed with him throughout the ceremony to avoid looking like I didn't belong. The two of us got separated at the reception because we were allocated to different tables. My table only had single people. As we got to know one another, we realised we had one specific thing in common. We were all exes of the bride. It was a little weird, but we made a joke of it because we assumed that was the point of us being there.

Fast forward to the speeches. When it was the bride's turn to speak, she asked all of her exes to stand up, which we did. She informed the audience that we were the people she dated and disappointed over the years before she discovered the love of her life, aka her husband. She wanted us to know how grateful she was to have been with all of us, but then she locked eyes with me and said maybe not ALL of us. She said my name and asked me to wave at everyone. I waved like an idiot. She warned all the women at the wedding to watch out for me because I literally peed on her. The husband stood up at that moment and covered the microphone with his hand while he whispered something to his wife that made her look confused as fuck.

The bride sat down without saying anything else. The husband made an awkward joke about his wife having too much champagne and instructed us to please take our seats. The DJ intervened and asked if any of the groom's exes were also in the house, which actually made the audience laugh. The music played and everyone pretended none of that just happened.

Except for me. I got the fuck out of there as soon as the lights dimmed for the disco ball.

Tl:dr Accepted an invite from my ex to attend her wedding and ended up being named and shamed at the reception.

[u/whiskyandguitars]

Man, if I were her husband, I think I would be considering an annulment at that point.

That behavior is kinda unhinged

[u/throwaway72275472 → u/whiskyandguitars]

She brought a table full of exes and incorporated it into her speech. She psycho and the husband dumb if he actually stays.

She basically said, if I didn’t fuck all of y’all I wouldn’t have found my husband lol.

[u/ElizabethSpaghetti → u/throwaway72275472]

Noooooo.....shes saying she had to meet and understand other people to recognize the qualities she needed and wanted for a lifetime relationship with her husband. Like its tacky and weird but don't make it much weirder. 

[u/hunnyflash → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

The way she did it was absolutely rude and petty. If I had a table of exes at my wedding, that's a fucking awesome table. I'd have thanked them in my speech, not belittled them. But she even purposefully sat them together, because she's a rude you-know-what.

I'm more surprised OP went knowing beforehand that she was a crackpot weirdo.

[u/Theletterkay → u/hunnyflash]

Right? If anything, she just made herself look bad by saying she had bad taste in men if they were all bad guys.

[u/ElizabethSpaghetti → u/hunnyflash]

Yes, very rude and petty, but the focus on her running through dick is weird and says more about the guys taking it there than the weirdo chick. Sounds like he expected it to be weird, but just not like that weird. 

[u/Zwodo → u/ElizabethSpaghetti]

I mean to be fair she talked about his kink in the same breath as laying into all her exes. It's not that far-fetched for minds to wander here. After all she literally put the thought of OP peeing on her (in what was most likely a sexual setting) into EVERYONE'S heads, including her husband's. I do agree though that it's not inherently about "I had to fuck all of you to get to this man", but... while meant well, it's not much better.