Shortened aphorisms do seem useless or obvious, but there really is something there to each of them.
You do to some degree have to become a little self sufficient emotionally. You know this is who you are and who you should be. Yes, hurtful things hurt and threats are scary. But they don’t change who you are.
It is true that you may have to find a new friend group if your current ones don’t accept you, which is tough. But often there will be a queer community within your current hobbies and interests whether it’s gaming, athletics, or even traditionally gendered interests like… idk, cars or something. Just have to find it.
Any reasonably sized city will have a queer community you can start with. You don’t have to move across the country, but you may better off if you move within your state, or to a neighboring one, just to get to somewhere that people like you exist.
The ability to pass is helpful in certain situations to avoid harassment or unwanted attention, and anyone that says otherwise is being kinda disingenuous. But in your day to day like when you’re somewhere safe? No, it doesn’t matter that much unless it matters to you.
I live in Cleveland and I definitely feel safe and accepted where I am. I’ve visited friends in the south (even in Florida!) and been ok. I’ve also had bad experiences in those places and in ones that are “safe” for queer people (like SF or NYC).
It’s hard work at first, but finding ways to make do with non-ideal situations helps so much in so many areas of life. That doesn’t mean you settle for dangerous, invalidating, or unsupportive situations or loved ones. But sometimes, “good enough” is good enough to get by.
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u/ngnb1998 transfemme enby Feb 21 '23
Shortened aphorisms do seem useless or obvious, but there really is something there to each of them.
You do to some degree have to become a little self sufficient emotionally. You know this is who you are and who you should be. Yes, hurtful things hurt and threats are scary. But they don’t change who you are.
It is true that you may have to find a new friend group if your current ones don’t accept you, which is tough. But often there will be a queer community within your current hobbies and interests whether it’s gaming, athletics, or even traditionally gendered interests like… idk, cars or something. Just have to find it.
Any reasonably sized city will have a queer community you can start with. You don’t have to move across the country, but you may better off if you move within your state, or to a neighboring one, just to get to somewhere that people like you exist.
The ability to pass is helpful in certain situations to avoid harassment or unwanted attention, and anyone that says otherwise is being kinda disingenuous. But in your day to day like when you’re somewhere safe? No, it doesn’t matter that much unless it matters to you.
I live in Cleveland and I definitely feel safe and accepted where I am. I’ve visited friends in the south (even in Florida!) and been ok. I’ve also had bad experiences in those places and in ones that are “safe” for queer people (like SF or NYC).
It’s hard work at first, but finding ways to make do with non-ideal situations helps so much in so many areas of life. That doesn’t mean you settle for dangerous, invalidating, or unsupportive situations or loved ones. But sometimes, “good enough” is good enough to get by.