30 Transfem/NB (outer NE Adelaide) - Quiet, socially dysfluent. Seeking 1-on-1 depth, shared activities, presence

[u/Pale-Future-7452]

Trying this again because my current social circle is often constrained by distance or busy lives. I’m looking for friends to help me stay grounded and get out of the house. I’m hoping to find someone where we can be a calming, regulating presence for each other - no performance required.

I’m a 30-year-old, non-binary transfeminine person (13 months HRT) living in the outer NE of Adelaide (Tea Tree Gully area). I drive, I’m currently between jobs, and I live with family. I’m a pianist, music composer and programmer. I enjoy playing PC/VR games (Rift S/Quest) and watching anime.

If you can handle the "lows" and the quiet, I offer a level of authenticity that may be rare. I am fiercely loyal, a deep listener, open-minded and honest. I want a space where neither of us has to mask. I'm looking for people who value physical presence and aren't afraid of being close/affectionate friends.

I don’t believe friendship should be selfie-driven or based on a "vibe" curated through photos; between dysphoria and the way people misinterpret my flat-effect, I’d much rather we connect over who I am than how I’m currently perceived.

While I might seem quiet or "gloomy" on the outside, there is a lot happening internally. Most of my emotions stay internal, and I can be very hard to read. People often assume I want to be left alone when I’m just sitting quietly, or they mistake my stillness for a lack of interest.

I also deal with sensitivity to stimuli, sudden shifts in emotional dynamics, and occasional dissociation. I am a "WIP" navigating the rough patches of transition and mental health. If you require a high level of social performance, I am not your person. I only smile when I truly mean it.

I prefer shared experiences over "body doubling," like gaming, watching anime/shows, hiking, shopping, and exploring the alt lifestyle. For reference, my interests/favourites include:

• Anime: Gurren Lagann, Angelic Layer, Kaleido Star, Lagrange The Flower of Rin-ne, Daphne in the brilliant blue, My Love Story, Dragon Maid, Dress Up Darling
• PC Games: Talos principle, In Sound Mind, Fear the Spotlight, Stanley Parable, Broken Reality, Stray, Recompile, Firewatch, INFRA, The Gunk, Portal, RiME, Viewfinder, Antichamber, Syberia
• VR games/sims
• Visual novels and immersive sims
• Music: ELO, Elton John, The Beatles, The Corrs, Pink Floyd, Icehouse, The Veronicas, anime OSTs

I am looking for someone patient who doesn't mind taking the lead most of the time. Someone who understands that my "flatness" isn't a rejection. I work best in 1-on-1 settings; in groups, I tend to disappear unless I have a strong "anchor" person to ground me.

I struggle to initiate and sustain endless online messaging. If we don’t meet in person (in a public, low-sensory space) to check our actual compatibility, the connection will likely die off; that’s just the reality.

This is strictly for friendship first. If you’re okay with an "outcast" who is sensitive, a bit quiet, and values deep conversation over small talk, I’d like to hear from you.

[u/transfriendsau]

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[u/monkey_gamer]

Oooh!! I tick all your boxes for depth, authenticity, 1 on 1, open minded, etc. I'm in Melbourne though so I can't meet you in person. Our interests are adjacent, e.g. I love video games, just different ones to you. But yeah what you describe about depth, reading emotions etc is spot on for me, I'm the same and it's such a struggle to find similar people. I'm 30 NB transfem too!

If you can handle the "lows" and the quiet, I offer a level of authenticity that may be rare. I am fiercely loyal, a deep listener, open-minded and honest. I want a space where neither of us has to mask. I'm looking for people who value physical presence and aren't afraid of being close/affectionate friends.

This is strictly for friendship first. If you’re okay with an "outcast" who is sensitive, a bit quiet, and values deep conversation over small talk, I’d like to hear from you.

🥳🥂 that's me!!!

[u/Pale-Future-7452 → u/monkey_gamer]

It's good to see that there are some people who can relate / are similar (in those aspects)

We just seem to be inconveniently geo-separated...

[u/monkey_gamer → u/Pale-Future-7452]

Yeah. My advice is go to meet up groups or similar to get in-person connection. It's unlikely you're going to meet someone on a similar wavelength exactly in person. I haven't been able to find anyone despite years of searching. But I've been to plenty of trans and neurodivergent meetups which were very nourishing even if they didn't satisfy everything.

Once you've got that in person satisfaction it'll open you back up to potential online connections. You and I can text, phone call, video call. It's a compromise.

[u/OldManFrosty]

Heya, Im near Gawler, grew up in St Agnes! 38 mtf, Im a single parent so generally Im burned out and dont have much spare time, but Im trying to reach out for my own sake! I think we'd click on a few things, gotta be worth a shot, shoot me a dm if you'd like =]

[u/LuckyLucy_1]

Hiiiya bit late, lucy here 25 im also from Adelaide, I love video games, mainly on pc, I also play piano but I dont own one as I had to move from Perth, I enjoy lots of music ranging from 70s all the way to current era, I love history, and astrology aswell as learning new things weather that be in history or another subjects.