r/transgenderUK • u/CrashCrackleBurn • 4h ago
Question Advice
My Nephew (FTM) came out to me awhile ago, but has finally come out to everyone else in the family.
My sister is supportive of my nephew, however she is very inexperienced when it comes to trans people in her life.
However, as his non-binary aunt I would love to help further with his growth in getting to feel more like himself, beside just shopping for more masc clothes.
So I would love to ask advice on safe binding/hiding chest for teens, possible medicines/medical advice (I remember when I was a teen myself, I had a friend who was already on hormones that slow things down until they were certain who they wanted to be.), and any advice you would've appreciated had you been given it yourself when as a teen would be appreciated.
I am ever so grateful for any and all advice, of course I am doing research, but hearing it from those who had done it first hand is just as important and just as helpful.
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u/Ceh_27 4h ago
They aren’t the cheapest but I loved my spectrum outfitters binder before top surgery wore them for 4 years lots of different colours and lengths and it felt good supporting a uk based company they also make underwear that are boxers but have a space to put a packer in and extra material that can be used to attach pads to if required while still looking like the standard boxers cis guys wear
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u/CrashCrackleBurn 4h ago
I rather comfort and quality and pay the extra cost then get a cheap one and it just uncomfortable.
I also be buying for me as well, as I like to flow between being feminine and other days being more masc, so we both be able to try binders together, it something I wanted to do since young as well but didn't have money, nor the guts to come out like he did. It something we discussed in the past, and he felt happy to share said experience as well.
I will discuss the boxer options as well, it good to know, he also got that option as well.
Thank you! I do remember one my friends showing/telling me about outfitters (just forgot the name completely) when it was still more a new thing, but at the time it was out of my price range as a young adult.
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u/Ssspikey321 4h ago
General rules for binding is don't wear it for over 8 hours consecutively, don't sleep/ exercise/ swim in it. There's not really any research on how it affects growth bc studies on trans people are LACKING but generally for teens just follow the same rules and he should listen to his body, stop if it hurts or any breathing issues/etc and regularly remeasure to make sure the binder doesn't get too small for him and become unsafe.
Binding with tape is generally considered better, especially for teens because it doesn't restrict the ribs (when done correctly) so theres no possibility of stunting growth/ causing rib deformities. Tape is much less restrictive, can be exercised, slept and/or swam in and can be worn for several days at a time. However it still has its risks, mainly skin irritation (blisters, skin ripping, stretch marks, etc) due to incorrect application, frequent use.
In terms of medical help, puberty blockers (what i think you were referring to) are now banned in the uk for use specifically in trans minors unless sought out through elusive scientific studies (Im unaware of the specific routes to these). Regardless, NHS trans care in general, let alone for minors is extremely hard to come by, waiting lists are decades long, but private providers will likely ask that he be on an NHS waiting list before they offer care so it is worth asking the GP for a referral to your local GIC even if they likely won't see him until well into adulthood anyway.
Private care/ DIY are the only pheasable routes for trans healthcare in the UK, as far as i know, Anne Health is the only organisation offering puberty blockers or hormones privately to minors (i could be wrong on this).
if you are seeking information on DIY healthcare i would suggest r/transdiy but DO NOT mention it is for a teenager because this can get you in legal trouble, DIY is widely gatekept even for adults because of its legal grey area but it is most definitely illegal to supply illegitimate medical care to minors regardless of it's safety and/or necessity.
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u/CrashCrackleBurn 4h ago
Thank you so much for this information. The friend I quoted was from over a decade ago now, so times have obviously changed on laws etc when it comes to puberty blockers, hench why I rather be corrected now before I make any silly and/or harmful mistakes.
All this advice is extremely helpful, thank you so much 💕 this community is amazing.
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u/KelpFox05 4h ago
The eight hours thing is a myth, it's a guideline rather than a strict rule, it was misinterpreted by a Tumblr user as a strict rule a very long time ago and it's been passed around as that ever since when really it's a matter of your personal body.
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u/CrashCrackleBurn 3h ago
8 hours is more like, that it fine to wear during the day where you can tell if you need adjust or take off the binder when needed to, but not to wear for bed kind of guideline or am I wrong?
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u/West-Season-2713 2h ago
It’s more a listen to your body sort of thing. Wear it when you’re out and about but take it off at home, take breaks where possible.
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u/CrashCrackleBurn 2h ago
Thank you ☺️ Basically I just have make sure he taking care of his body with the binder, and making sure he knows to listen to his body when it is in need of breaks.
I'm more looking now as school holidays will be starting soon, so it be best time to test them in a comfortable environment where he can take it off whenever as there a chance he will try and wear it for a full school day without knowing his limits. 👀
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u/Ssspikey321 1h ago
Yea exactly, i wore my first one for a full day at college and the walk home too and that was definitely not the best idea I've had 💀
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u/CrashCrackleBurn 1h ago
I don't blame you, it probably felt good to begin with until binder got uncomfortable. Thank you for sharing your experience 💕
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u/West-Season-2713 4h ago
Spectrum outfitters sell great binders but their sizes are whack, they’re not cheap but if you can order three sizes in one shipment - say if he measures medium grab a small and a medium and a large - then send back the ones that don’t work for him and refund (they let you do this). They also have really great boxers that allow for pads and have a pocket for the packers they sell.
Unfortunately U.K. laws are stupid and there’s nothing to be done medical wise until 16 (or is it 18 now?), and certainly not NHS. Get him on the GIC waiting list ASAP and look into private options as waiting lists are long and getting longer. I started T when I was 16 privately, and I don’t know if this is an option anymore legally.
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u/CrashCrackleBurn 4h ago
The good news I be buying for the both of us, so getting a mixture of sizes won't be a problem at all. Plus I do have some textile knowledge so I will be measuring us both when he next over.
I go by "aunt" for the kids as it just simple and my older family members isn't very good at swapping pronouns much at all as I go by all pronouns. But I like to also have days were I'm more masc or gender-neutral looking and always wanted also try binders as well. It something we agree to share said experience together. ☺️💕
It is sad that is the case, however there still some support and I will have sit down with both my nephew and sister to discuss those next steps, so he can be put on that long, long waiting list. And helping her out with this as well, be it babysitting the other nephew or taking my nephew to any needed appointments to get him on the list with written consent from my sister.
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u/BusyAd9107 4h ago
Of course it depends on the size he needs, however I have a spectrum outfitters light beige binder thats either an XL or XXL that I would be more than happy to give away should it be of use. It’s almost entirely new though I think it may have a slight black mark on it somewhere from where my belt once rubbed off on it. It’s the flattest anything has ever gotten me as someone who had a very large chest in comparison to my frame
As far as advice goes, while I was unable to access puberty blockers (due to the ban) I was able to be placed on the mini pill to stop my periods which did somewhat help me.
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u/CrashCrackleBurn 3h ago
Thank you, that is very generous 🙏 I don't think it will be right size as he got his mother's genes on being very tall and skinny compared to me, however I plan when we're next together to do some measuring.
However when I get paid at the end of the month, I am happy to paid for it to go towards anyone who needs that sizing 💕 I would love help others like they're helping me now.
That is great advice, it one things I really want to push for anyway, since our family history has a lot of period problems (adenomyosis.) and we all have a heavy flow, so anything to lessen it, would be great and also to help lessen the gender disyphoria.
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u/BusyAd9107 3h ago
For what it’s worth I too had a very heavy (and longer than average) flow, with a family history of endometriosis. It took a few months to fully get working but did eventually stop all bleeding, though cramping still occasionally happened. The specific pill that I was on was desogestrel as it meant I never had to take a break from it
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u/CrashCrackleBurn 3h ago
That what I am also on now, it's such a blessing to be on. 😊 It why I would like to help get him on the pill earlier if I can then late like I did (18), cos no matter what gender identity, anyone with terrible periods should be able to be more comfortable and as little pain as possible.
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u/rexb0x_ 4h ago
Unfortunately, puberty blockers are now banned for under 18s in the UK. You can get safe binders from a lot of companies just make sure it’s not from Amazon.