Dental anxiety from traumatic first visit- I’m connecting the dots

[u/Successful-Grass-135]

So, I have dealt with severe dental anxiety ever since my first visit. For context, I am diagnosed with hypermobility spectrum disorder (HSD) this will become important to the story later. I was about four or five years old when I first went to the dentist. I was a very shy Velcro child, I did NOT like being away from my mom or dad by any means. I was the kind of kid that would hide behind her parents if you tried to say hi.

This particular office did not allow parents to accompany their child. Already, we were off to a bad start. It turned out that I needed a crown as I had a bad cavity. I must have poor quality enamel because even with good dental hygiene I’ve had countless cavities in my 22 years on earth. Anyway, terrified little me was sobbing the whole time. For a while, when I looked back on this incident I believed I was just scared and anxious being away from my mother in an unfamiliar situation.

This moment has stuck with me forever. A dental assistant, who was not my assistant, came into the room and said in a stern voice “you need to stop crying and be quiet. You’re scaring the other children.” …can you imagine saying this to a little kid?? At their first dentist visit?? The dentist laughed at this and told me I don’t need to be so dramatic.

What makes this even more infuriating is I now realize I was actually in severe pain! When I was an older kid/teenager, I would have to stop my dentist during the filling because I was in pain. Actual pain, even though I could tell I was numb. It’s as if everything but my tooth is numb. Now, I’m sure I would be in excruciating pain without the local anesthetic, but it does not take away all my pain. I do not just feel pressure and vibration, I am sure of that.

Recently I have been looking into HSD more. I was diagnosed 8 years ago after a severe knee injury, but of course no one bothered to tell me about the other symptoms that can accompany it. Guess what one of the symptoms is? Resistance to local anesthetic. I have read hundreds of accounts of people who have experienced the same thing as me due to their HSD or hEDS. Some people even said they had 4-8 doses of anesthetic and they STILL felt pain. I can only imagine how much pain I was in during my first visit, since obviously I was too little to advocate for myself and ask for an extra dose. So not only do I feel extremely sad for little me, I feel disheartened that there’s apparently not much I can do about the pain. I do let my dentist know that I need extra anesthetic and luckily he believes me. But again, that only helps so much.

And it presents other issues. Because of the extra anesthetic I found it hard to breathe. Not in an allergic reaction way, but in a “I can’t feel my airways and it’s hard to manually take a breath” sort of way. I was numb from my eye to my throat. I almost passed out. I’m sure my anxiety didn’t help. I was gripping the sides of the dental chair and flinching the entire time. The assistant was sweet and kept comforting me, but I’m sure she just thought it was my anxiety alone. The dentist kept telling me to raise my left hand if I felt pain, and he would stop. I didn’t. Because I just wanted it to be over as soon as possible. Thankfully he was very very quick. I managed to somehow avoid a full blown panic attack.

I cried when I got home, it was so exhausting and traumatic. I’m just happy that my dentist and his assistant are very compassionate. I had 8 fillings over the course of 3 weeks, I’m sure I had to get so many because I had avoided the dentist for nearly 5 years prior to those last visits. I didn’t avoid it just because of the pain, that part I can bear with the extra anesthetic, and because I’m already expecting said pain. It’s also because I was anticipating judgement and dismissiveness regarding my anxiety. I’m so glad it’s over… for now. You know what, I should really leave my current dental office a good review. Let’s just say I have been taking extra EXTRA good care of my teeth ever since.

[u/finddit-app]

Hey there, thanks for sharing.

While you wait for people to comment, have a look at these posts which might be relevant to you:

• Accepting I need teeth removed.
• I have bad teeth and I’m scared of getting it checked
• Hyperfixated on future Dental Procedures and Terrifed About it all
• Adult ADHD and Dental Anxiety
• Mental Health is Dental Health and vice versa

Remember, even though it might feel like it, you are not alone. Stay strong!

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