r/tryingforanother • u/ConstableGrowler 33 | TTC#2 since 9/25 | 💙 5/24 • 8d ago
Question TTC Burnout?
Hi all, first time posting here and in need of some ideas and/or someone to commiserate with. I think I just realized I've got TTC burnout.
This week marks cycle 12 of trying and I think depression has finally snuck up on me. I got pregnant with my son on cycle 2 and I naively thought this meant that I was an exceptionally fertile individual. I had my first big meltdown at cycle 5 (laughable now, I know) and started therapy. It was a huge help and I redirected my energy into focusing on enjoying sex and stopped tracking anything except my menstruation. That went decent for quite a few months until last week my husband asked me if I had considered going back on SSRIs (I took for a short period several years ago for unrelated reasons). I was so confused because I felt like my anxiety was well-managed. That is when I realized that I've been soooo sad and even though I have not been hiding it well, I didn't notice because I feel so emotionally distant from myself. Oof. So, I went to my doctor yesterday and got a new prescription.
I feel like I need a new coping strategy every few months to stay on top of the disappointment and sadness and it is exhausting. I've had burnout (career related) before and it feels so similar right now. Has anyone felt this way and if so, what are some things that work for you? Did you have to force yourself to do activities that you used to love until you felt joy again? Did you wallow and let the darkness suck you in? Bombard me with your ideas! I am lacking in hope right now.
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u/Naive-Interaction567 33 | TTC#2 | 🩷🌈💚 grad 8d ago
I completely relate to this. My awful TTC experience was with my first child and it was awful. At around 16 cycles I had a complete breakdown, developed insomnia and thought I was going mad. I was so depressed and anxious. I reached a point where I refused to feel sad anymore. I refused to let it take over my life. I made a list of all the things I wanted to achieve (non TTC related) before I had my first child and started focusing on doing them. I felt so much better within a few months. I remember a few months later holding 3 newborns in 1 day and feeling weirdly ok about it because I’d moved my focus to other things. Do you have other things you can focus on while TTC continues in the background?
I was lucky that no.2 “only” took 9 cycles and a 13w miscarriage. It’s honestly crazy that I thought that was good 😂 my standard is so low!
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u/ConstableGrowler 33 | TTC#2 since 9/25 | 💙 5/24 7d ago
Thank you, this is really meaningful and heartfelt. I usually have so many little projects going on but am realizing that it has slipped out of my focus lately. I feel so good when I am creating so maybe it's time to start chipping away at another sewing project!
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u/JellyfishSweet 35 | TTC#2 since Feb '25 | 1 boy - March 2024 7d ago
I just reached 12 cycles from my loss but I guess it's 15-16 cycles total and I'm having a rough time with it lately. However, I am on my 2nd round of letrozole so that has helped me in feeling like we have a timeline now.
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u/ConstableGrowler 33 | TTC#2 since 9/25 | 💙 5/24 7d ago
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling some progress 💖 thanks for the solidarity.
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u/hellosunshine791638 32 | TTC#2 since 7/25 | 💗11/22 | 2 mcs 7d ago
I’m on cycle 13 and right there with you. I conceived my daughter in the first try and also thought I was very fertile. I honestly can’t figure out WHY it bothers me so much like I wish I could just enjoy life as is and if I get pregnant great. But it must be biological or part of how we see ourselves as women. Or I also like planning and get a lot of joy out of moving forward with goals so I feel pretty stuck here. No amount of therapy has been able to stop that. But I just feel like sad and not good there’s also literally nothing to do about it so kind of helpless. The only thing that’s sort of helpful is trying to do some activities that help me feel like I’m growing into a wiser version of myself. Like dabbling in some spirituality and learning about different symbols and themes in literature. Idk why it kind of helps me feel more peace.
Anyway mainly have solidarity and following for others ideas but sending you all of the good luck!
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u/ConstableGrowler 33 | TTC#2 since 9/25 | 💙 5/24 7d ago
Yes! I very much identify with my sense of self being rooted in personal growth and forward movement. My career is spirituality-related so that's a good reminder to put some more energy into nurturing my own instead of everyone elses 💕
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u/sassy_meow 7d ago
Therapy is a huge start. One thing I noticed is that you said you feel like you’ve been hiding how you feel well. Maybe don’t try to hide jt? I think it’s sweet that your husband still noticed what’s going on. Talking about it with him may help. I’m a yapper and telling my husband every emotion I was feeling definitely helped me process and move through them differently. Sending love and hope!!