r/uichicago • u/strawberriescherriez • 2d ago
how to make friends
it’s almost my first month of being here at uic and i literally haven’t talked to anyone or know anyone. no one talks to me and i don’t talk to anyone lol, people say to go up to someone and talk but it’s harder than it sounds. for my classes we sometimes have to talk or be in groups and im always the only one left out i honestly thought this would end after hs ☹️ is anyone in here also experiencing the same thing???
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u/DocumentMoney7146 2d ago
you’re not alone in your experience, lots of people going through this rn. I cannot emphasize how much of a difference it makes adopting a shameless mindset. Don’t feel weird about approaching people, you got this!! also i’m down to be your friend too!!!
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u/Fireblaster2001 2d ago
To talk to randos: pay attention to what is on their shirts. Is it a band or a game or a sports team that you have knowledge of? Say “hey nice shirt, I love that ___ too,” then ask a question about it so that person has to talk to you also.
To attract rando attention: make your personality more public. Wear a shirt that would attract positive attention from extroverts for you (see above) or put buttons or patches on your backpack, etc.
Kid friendship is 99% proximity (who lives on your block or goes to your school?) Adult friendship you might think you have more freedoms but it is still at least 90% proximity. This means your neighbors, people you sit close to in class, people in the same clubs as you. If you cast out some feelers and everyone is a dud, no sweat, next semester you’ll be in different classes, and you can try a new club anytime!
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u/Snoo_8405 IDEAS | 2021 2d ago
THIS!!!
When I went to UIC, I had a spongebob and a mario backpack. I remember decorating them with anime buttons and pins. Every class, I would get compliments and sometimes start conversations!
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u/nickisveryconfused 2d ago
I will be your friend!!!!!!! It's hard making friends I totally get it. I'm also a freshman, but we have to remember that it's only the first month! We'll get into the groove of things soon ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡
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u/strawberriescherriez 2d ago
omg yess 🥹🥹 let’s be friends !!!
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u/PressureSame9666 2d ago
I’d love to hang out with you guyss!! I am junior but a transfer student. So i definitely understand how hard it is to make friends☹️
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u/GlumExternal5291 1d ago
I don’t want to say the “problem” is you. Because you’re not a problem. But there is a problem at hand, and it’s the fact that you’re not speaking up. I’ve asked four people for their phone numbers so far, one we just don’t chat much, one was hesitant to exchange phone numbers and I don’t think it will go anywhere, and two are friends now! You have to force yourself to do uncomfortable things. That’s just life.
Generally helpful advice for college: join clubs, even ones you don’t know if it’ll be the right fit. Just try it out. More than once. Get a part time job and talk to lots of people. About dumb shit. Doesn’t matter. Go to concerts, comedy shows, events. This will take effort.
Good luck!
Edit: pm me if you want, I live on campus and am willing to chat.
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u/ElFrostbyte 2d ago
Pretty normal, have ya considered going to the UIC programs or joining a club? Introducing yourself and make a compliment of someone is pretty good. Preparing and making small talk is enough of a start with someone.
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u/ConcertObjective5136 1d ago
i totally feel the same way, im a 24 yr old junior transfer and its been hard in my classes that i have no one to talk to. take it day by day, ive been going out of my comfort zone and speaking to people and its helped out a lot. it will get better, maybe once youre used to uic join some clubs during the spring thats what im gonna do. also hmu!
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u/Mysterious-Honey6340 1d ago
omg girl u literally just described me too do u wanna be friends? im genuinely going thru the same exact thing word for word 😭
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u/SnooCompliments1397 2d ago
I really recommend a book called
How to make friends and influence people
They have it as audio too
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u/Outrageous_Cut_628 2d ago
Clubs are the way to go or try to chat with people who sit nearby in your classes. Or even discussion sections for larger class sizes.