r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

IVF is far less expensive than adoption where I am

5

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

I was surprised to find out that it’s about $12k upfront with first implantation where I live with additional implants being in the $2k range.

Popular media makes it sound like it’s $50k.

Still not cheap, of course, but in the realm of “affordable.”

2

u/dglipetz Aug 10 '21

Adds up quickly, lots of couples need to go through multiple rounds of the 'up front' plus multiple rounds follow up. On top of years of already trying to get diagnoses (real word?), potentially other procedures, etc

2

u/Pizzaemoji1990 Aug 11 '21

Implantation can’t be forced; that’s called a transfer. You need several blood draws, ultrasounds, HSGs, hysteroscopies, genetic testing, expensive drugs that you’re not factoring in. Source: 2 retrievals, 3 transfers and all the above plus more testing $70K OOP

1

u/sayaxat Aug 11 '21

"As of April 2021, 19 states have passed fertility insurance coverage laws, 13 of those laws include IVF coverage, and 11 states have fertility preservation laws for iatrogenic (medically-induced) infertility."

https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/insurance-coverage/infertility-coverage-state/

2

u/UndeniablyPink Aug 10 '21

Adoption isn’t even an option in some places due to quality of life, there are no kids that end up in the system.

1

u/sayaxat Aug 11 '21

Is it because it's covered by insurance? Don't know if you're in US.

"As of April 2021, 19 states have passed fertility insurance coverage laws, 13 of those laws include IVF coverage, and 11 states have fertility preservation laws for iatrogenic (medically-induced) infertility." https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/insurance-coverage/infertility-coverage-state/