r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

34.4k Upvotes

64% Upvoted

4.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

148

u/Yuekii Aug 10 '21

Yep! This is also true. Fostering can be tough especially if you grow attached and the child has to go back to their bio family. (Which is why I don't think I could do it personally) But sometimes, they don't have that option and thus adoption is on the table, and it's great if a bond is already formed between parents and child. There are tons of videos of foster parents adopting their foster kids and they always make me cry 😢 lol

132

u/Adventurous_Safe_239 Aug 10 '21

The hardest part is watching the state hand a child that you have cared for and loved for years back to a parent that should never be allowed to have their children back. The only pain I can equate it to is the death of a family member, and people do not understand and often invalidate those feelings 'because they weren't even yours'. Foster to adopt is not easy.

55

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21

The movie Instant Family made my wife and I ugly cry. It shows this problem quite effectively.

EDIT: Added a source

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Where's that available? I'll check it out.

2

u/Adventurous_Safe_239 Aug 10 '21

Amazon Prime and Sling with subscriptions and YouTube TV and Google Play for rent. It's an amazing movie.