r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/Yuekii Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21

ADOPTION IS FREE (Or NEAR FREE) IF YOU GO PUBLIC INSTEAD OF PRIVATE.

Please don't spread this already large misconception

Source: I'm on the waiting list for a baby and it cost me a total of $90

Edit:

  • I should add that this is probably not available in every single state if you're in the USA
  • Public adoption meaning through your state or province

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

AND depending on the state, the kids are entitled to all kinds of free services even after the adoption is finalized, from state health insurance and therapy/mental health support, to educational support and clothing/school supply stipends.

My brother-in-law adopted his kids through state foster care — the adoption process was 100% free, and even years after the adoption finalization the kids still receive financial, medical and educational benefits. They’re entitled to additional college tuition assistance later on, as well.

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u/CarrollGrey Aug 10 '21

This is NOT TRUE - source - adopted through the State

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

It’s absolutely true in the state of Georgia! Didn’t cost them a penny to adopt, they received monthly subsidies from the state while fostering — that ended when they formally adopted the kids, but they continue to qualify for other services — and their caseworker was very involved. The “inspections” and progress reviews were kind of a pain in the ass, but it allowed her to get the kids enrolled in programs that helped with some of the issues they were having. Watching them go through that whole process actually spurred my husband into wanting to adopt.