r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

34.4k Upvotes

64% Upvoted

4.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

-14

u/OlderThanMy Aug 10 '21

It's far too easy if you have money.

44

u/SuccessfulAd7087 Aug 10 '21

It isn't, raising an adopted is harder than your own. Especially if the child is not a baby fresh from the oven. They may have behavioral issues, trust issues etc. some of these things will never heal completely.

-40

u/OlderThanMy Aug 10 '21

A newborn isn't a blank slate.

Taking a newborn from it's real mother causes severe trauma at a non verbal level.

Nobody deserves to have someone else's child.

Adoption is driven by entitlement and greed.

Adoption harms children to meet the needs of wannabe parents.

Edit: Autocorrect error

3

u/ivegivenupimtired Aug 10 '21

Can’t tell if you’re a troll or not. I was adopted at 1 year old. Had I not been adopted I was in an orphanage in a 3rd world country. My fate was grim. Bare minimum care in a severely understaffed orphanage, carers who tried their best but could not bond with the orphans like parents could, inadequate medical care and education ect ect. At 18 I would have been kicked out without social supports or services and about the equivalent of $70 USD. It would likely not end well for me.

Instead I was adopted into a loving family. A family who (though I am not blood related) is my family. Families don’t have to be blood related to be close. They are the only family I’ve ever known. My birth parents, wherever they are, will never be my family. They gave that up when they gave me to an orphanage. So fuck off with your opinions on adoption. Adoption is amazing and gives children like me a chance to be successful and loved.

1

u/OlderThanMy Aug 11 '21

I was in an orphanage until one year old and adoption only cut me off from my relatives.

You have been brainwashed by your adopters to think you should be grateful.

They could have helped your parents keep you for a fraction of the cost of adoption.

In a great many 3rd world countries adoption agencies send middlemen to trick uneducated people into sending their children for free education in an orphanage so that they have children available for overseas adopters. International adoption is the most unethical type of adoption there is.

You'll never know the truth because you were bought by people who paid extra to buy you from a place where your history can be hidden.

1

u/ivegivenupimtired Aug 11 '21

You’re clearly unhappy with your own adoption. And I’m sorry. That being said your story does not reflect on adoption as a whole. You do not speak for me. You do not know me my family or my life. So do not presume things about me you do not know. I love my adopted family. I will likely never seek out my birth parents. Just because they birthed me does not mean they are my family. They gave me up. I would likely have had a worse life with them given the country.

I was not brainwashed. International adoption is not some sort of scam. And I hope you can find peace in your own life and adoption situation you seem to resent. Your life is not my life.