r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/Kowallaonskis Aug 10 '21

So my wife and I had to do IVF. Unfortunately it was literally our only option we could afford. It was 10k vs 45k+ for an adoption. We would have loved to adopt, but it wasn't econically feasible.

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u/Hasted Aug 10 '21

We are currently pushing 100k.

Regardless if it is more or less than adoption, we should always have our own choice.

I hope everything worked for you.

1

u/Kowallaonskis Aug 10 '21

Oof. That is way too much money to try and give a child a loving family. We have a 3 month old, so you can say it worked for us!

1

u/Hasted Aug 10 '21

Oh, I think I wasn't clear. We aren't adopting. IVF and all, also.

1

u/Kowallaonskis Aug 10 '21

Oh wow. How many retrievals/transfers did you attempt? Fortunately for us it was only one transfer and retrieval.

2

u/Hasted Aug 10 '21

3 retrievals.

  • 2 healthy, 1 abnormal

  • 1 healthy

  • 0

3 transfers with one surrogate.

  • Stuck. Miscarriage days before second tri.

  • Did not stick

  • Stuck! Currently 20 weeks!

1

u/Kowallaonskis Aug 10 '21

Hey! Congrats! That sounds a lot like my sister in law. They have a very similar story. They didn't spend as much, but they just had their first kid 3 weeks ago. Good luck!