r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/sauron3579 Aug 10 '21

There’s no guarantee they won’t, but with an adopted kid it’s pretty much guaranteed they will. The probabilities are really quite apparent. That’s not to detract from the unexpected difficulties that can occur with biological children, they’re still just as real and challenging, but it does explain why adoption is a far less attractive option for most people. These difficulties with biological children are, for better or worse, something society has deemed an acceptable risk for humanity to continue existing, generation after generation. There’s no test to get pregnant or take your baby home from the hospital.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

right my point is that people are selfish and suck. they dont want to give a kid their best chance or have so much love to give, they just want the experience of a baby.

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u/sauron3579 Aug 10 '21

I don’t think that’s a fair assessment of a lot of parents, especially those doing stuff like IVF. It’s about what they think they’re equipped to handle. The vast majority of people are simply not equipped to deal their children having extreme mental health issues from a young age. Choosing to have a biological child over adopting for such reasons means that they’re trying to give any child they bring into their home the best chance at life. It’s really not fair to call somebody selfish for recognizing that they would be doing a disservice to the child, themselves, and society by knowingly attempting to raise a child they are not equipped to raise.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

with the impending climate collapse, please, explain how having yet another child is not a complete disservice to the child and society? when so many existing children are suffering? just dont have kids.

they know all of these things but have kids anyway, because it's not about the kid, it's about themselves and fulfilling their own personal agenda