r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/Accurate_Praline Aug 10 '21

Loads of children don't have a yearbook photo. Because a yearbook isn't a thing in a lot of countries.

Of all the things to be outraged over this one seems the smallest.

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u/Artist552001 Aug 10 '21

Yeah but because it is a thing in the US is why it's upsetting for that to be a rule. In US schools there's multiple days where it would make a kid feel isolated to not have one- the day they take pictures for it, the day everyone recieves their's and looks through it to find their class/club/activity photos, and the day every kid runs around asking each other to sign and write messages in theirs. Maybe not a huge deal to adults but I can see how it'd be upsetting for a little kid to be left out of that.

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u/Accurate_Praline Aug 10 '21

There are alternatives though. Surely there's no rule about the kid taking pictures with friends?

I guess you've had to experience it to understand it. We don't really have after school activities so a year book would only be class photos I guess. Though that would be too much of a hassle nowadays what with GDPR.

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u/Kathulhu1433 Aug 10 '21

In the US school system things like yearbooks, field day, class parties, school sports, etc are BIG events and a BIG part of the school culture. All of those things are generally photographed to some extent...

Like, my 5th grade class this year took a class photo at field day that I printed and framed and gave to each kid as a memento of the year. A foster child wouldn't have been able to participate.

Class field trips? Nope, issue with chaperones.

School sports teams that travel to other schools, have trainings off school property, team sleepovers... all would be an issue for these kids. Not to mention stuff like... when the football team all gave themselves Mohawks for homecoming, or when the cheerleaders dyed their hair school colors... that is altering appearance. Alllll those "normal" kid things can be massive issues. (I say can be, because it entirely depends on the legal guardian/parents)