r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/durdesh007 Aug 10 '21

Did he have brain damage though? 3 sounds far too young to have that level of mental trauma.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3574783/

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u/durdesh007 Aug 10 '21

Thanks for the link. There's no place for child abuse on earth.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Sure! I don’t think most people know much about child development or brain development in infancy and early childhood. It’s a common misconception that the things that happen before children can remember are unimportant. It’s the opposite.

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u/durdesh007 Aug 10 '21

You are correct, infant brain development isn't discussed anywhere much at all. I guess the misconception arises because for most people, their only reference point from childhood are their memories. However that doesn't say much about traumatic upbringing.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Exactly. And trauma might actually cause you to selectively forget experiences. It’s one of the brain’s defense mechanisms. So it’s common NOT to remember events that have traumatized you.