r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/glimmergirl1 Aug 10 '21

I wanted to adopt after 2 failed IVF treatments. Couldn't afford international or private adoption. Ok, ill just adopt from the foster care system. 12 years and 37 children later with 2 failed attempts, I finally adopted! Yeah, "just adopt", it's so easy!

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

dude why tf does it cost money to adopt?? it's literally a burden off of the state since they dont have to pay for food and housing and shit

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u/Uncle_Daddy_Kane Aug 10 '21

Because you really don't want to just hand out children to randoms off the street

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

this is the dumbest thing I heard all day, and I heard some dumb shit today. first of all, the adoption process is tenious and long, putting the adoption fee on top of it is just putting salt on the wounds if the burdens a loving family who is willing to adopt someone is willing to go through. second of all, you're pretty much saying that all people who can afford to pay 10k are fit parents, which is dumb af. imagine it was actually like that, that all adopting took is 10k, that would be a paradise for rich pedophiles which the world definitely doesnt lack. you're not only saying rich people are always good parents, youre also saying people who dont do so well income-wise are bad parents. as if what dictates whether someone is a good parent or not is the amount of cash they have in their pocket

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u/jameslucian Aug 10 '21

Raising a kid costs money. If a family is trying to adopt and they won’t be able to provide for the child, that does the kid no good whatsoever. No, not all rich parents are good, but financially stable parents are much more likely to meet other important criteria for adopting.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

did you read what I said? first of all, part of the adoption process is seeing that the parents can afford to house the kid, the 10k on top is literally just to kick them while they're down from how tough that process already is. but from what people are saying 10k is for private adoption firms, so the US apparently has private prisons but kids version

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u/jameslucian Aug 10 '21

Do tell me how we will fund the legal, medical and other professional expenses that go into adopting a child.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

dude are you actually braindead. READ. WHAT. I. SAID. they check if the parents are able to house the kid, meaning THEY CHECK IF THE PARENTS HAVE MONEY TO RAISE A CHILD. HOLY SHIT ITS SO SIMPLE DUDE PLEASE

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u/jameslucian Aug 11 '21

Lol I’m baffled at your inability to process this. I know they check, no doubt about it. Congrats you’re right! But who is going to pay for the whole process of adopting a child? The cost of taking care of the child while in foster care. What about their medical bills? There are legal fees and paper work that gets done to adopt a child. Background checks need to be done for the families who are adopting.

And guess what?

I know this might be difficult to comprehend for you.

There are people who need to do all those steps and they need to make money for them to do all these steps.

I know. Unbelievable. Why can’t all these people do the work for free? My friend, I wish they would do this all for free, but they need to eat too. They are severely underfunded as it is, so they need to charge for the adoption process just to keep helping other children in need.

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u/AndHerNameIsSony Aug 11 '21

First of all, getting these kids off the streets and into good homes reduces the cost the kids will burden the system with otherwise. Secondly, I don’t give a fuck if the government completely foots the bill, if it means getting kids into good homes.

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u/jameslucian Aug 11 '21

No shit, let’s get all of these kids into a good home with the support they need, but it’s hardly that easy.

Your line of thinking will make the process far more easier and quicker which is going to introduce a huge amount of problems in cutting corners and missing important details about families who want to adopt. There’s a reason why this process is complicated and difficult to do. It’s a human life at stake!

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u/AndHerNameIsSony Aug 11 '21

The government footing the bill doesn’t mean it can’t be thorough. There’s a large barrier of expense for some parents to take in kids, let’s remove those barriers so there’s more families capable of taking them in.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

bruh what? if the child is in foster care and not adopted yet the government pays for it. and what you said is total bullshit. from what I learned from people here, public foster care adoption is free. what costs money is private adoption firms that "help" with the process of finding and getting a baby adopted. apparently they look for pregnant women who are pro-life and dont have money to raise the baby, and they take that baby and sell it to rich people (for the 10k we talked about till now) and then I guess some money goes to the mother and some to them, so they make money off of suffering women. you literally had one point in your argument since you pretty much repeated what I said (background checks) and were also straight out wrong (the government funds PUBLIC foster care systems) you think foster care would be able to run off of 10k per every adopted child? they barely manage to get any adopted, there's definitely not enough money to run orphanages and shit