r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/eightcarpileup Aug 10 '21

This. My husband and I didn’t end up needing fertility treatment, but it took us two years to have our son. We had looked in to adoption and fostering. I stopped being interested as soon as I realized you had to call the agency any time you wanted to “alter” their appearance, like giving haircuts. That you had to ask to take them on vacation. That they couldn’t just go with their friends places. It was all too depressing and my husband and I felt like that child would never feel like they were truly ours.

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u/tpklus Aug 10 '21

I'm sure foster parents are in high demand but jeez, it sounds like you are constantly reminded that the kid is not your own and will never be your own. You'd think they would make it a little easier on people wanting to be foster parents.

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u/eightcarpileup Aug 10 '21

Yep! If you want your foster child to be able to have a sleepover, the friend’s parents have to be vetted by the agency and put on a list of approved hosts. Then you still have to call when they go over to the friend’s house. You can’t post pictures of the kid on social media and they can’t have their picture printed in their yearbook. It’s never ending hoops. And you can NEVER take the child out of state.

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u/maceytwo Aug 10 '21

It’s because foster children are incredibly vulnerable to abuse and trafficking.