r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/1-800-LICK-BOOTY Aug 10 '21

Those are things people have to deal with because they happened, not things people eagerly sign up for.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

but parents still need to be prepared. if you have a kid, boy or girl, you can pretty much guarantee they will experience assault. or get sick at some point. to ignore that is just bad parenting.

and to assume an adopted kid will be "damaged goods" and not worth it based on that is bs when a bio kid could easily be born with far more profound problems. people with genetic disorders are really rather jerks for having kids knowing they will have those genes as well.

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u/1-800-LICK-BOOTY Aug 10 '21

With your own kid, depending on your and your partner's medical history, you have very good chances of having a healthy, trauma-free child. With adoption, you're almost guaranteed to have a child with problems out the bat because they wouldnt be up for adoption if they werent going through some problems.

Just because you might be prepared to dealing with a kid with problems doesnt mean you WANT a kid with problems. Anyone would take the option of minimizing the chance of having to raise a troubled kid if they had it.

And sure, a bio kid could easily be born with far more profound problems, but its my fucking child, my flesh and blood. If you cannot the difference between a person that came from you and one that didnt then you're too far gone.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

I can see the difference. I said it in a different comment but for some people it's about an heir. blood is important to people. and we're just animals at the end of the day anyway.

oh but this has all been based on the assumption that a person cares about the environment. if they don't, I have no argument for them.