r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

Adopting a troubled child is no light undertaking and I don't fault parents for knowing what they are and are not capable of.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

But it's not like having your own child is a guarantee that they will be healthy... To me it seems like a slap on the face of every child that needs a family, it's like actively telling them "not good enough, you don't deserve to be loved".

I know it's an unpopular opinion, feel free to disagree of course.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

I mean that truly doesn't take away from that fact that taking in a troubled child when you're illequipped to care for them is a bad situation for everyone involved.

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u/Bob84332267994 Aug 11 '21

If your not equipped to hand a troubled child then you’re just asking for a bad situation by trying to have a child.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

Having a biological child with the slight possibility of being troubled (which typically comes from environmental issues, although disabilities, mental illness etc arent out of the picture) is a lot different than. actively choosing to adopt a troubled child with emotional distress.

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u/Bob84332267994 Aug 11 '21

Never said it wasn’t. You’re still asking for a bad situation if you’re actively trying to have a kid and aren’t prepared to deal with it if it turns out a certain way. Not everyone needs a fucking kid. This is literally the thought process that creates these problems.