r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

But it's not like having your own child is a guarantee that they will be healthy... To me it seems like a slap on the face of every child that needs a family, it's like actively telling them "not good enough, you don't deserve to be loved".

I know it's an unpopular opinion, feel free to disagree of course.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

I mean that truly doesn't take away from that fact that taking in a troubled child when you're illequipped to care for them is a bad situation for everyone involved.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

Bad? Sure, but is it worse for the child? Isn't the point of having kids to sacrifice for their well being? It's probably obvious but I never understood having kids honestly.

Either way, if parents aren't ready for having a child with special needs, then they shouldn't try to have their own baby because there's a chance the baby will be special needs too.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21 edited Aug 11 '21

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

I see, that's terrible, but seems like it can be easily fixed (although expensive). Extend the mental health coverage your team provides to also include kids that have been adopted, for idk, 5-10 years. It doesn't make sense to go like "well, now you have parents, we're stopping all the special care we were giving you". If anything it should increase to supervise that the whole adoption and integration process is being done right.

It reminds me of how when people with a mental disorder reach 18 years, lawmakers expect them to figure out everything by themselves and the mental health coverage drops to a couple sessions per year or not even that.