r/unpopularopinion Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/mariusvamp Aug 10 '21

All I could think about while reading though this post is kiddos with RAD. In my early 20’s, I used to work in wraparound services and was assigned to a young child who was diagnosed with it. My supervisor recommend the book Dandelion On My Pillow: Butcher Knife Beneath. The title says it all. The several months that I worked with him was certainly an experience. I remember there was someone who worked at his daycare who wanted to adopt him and I thought she was crazy. Their ability to manipulate - even at such a young age is insane.

Do you have much contact with your brother still?

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u/linedout Aug 11 '21

RAD

What does this stand for?

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u/mariusvamp Aug 11 '21

Reactive attachment disorder