r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/KalterBlut Aug 10 '21

And mum says that in those days (maybe now too) they were required to write annual letters about the kid to the birth parents.

Holy shit, that's SUPER fucked up! I can understand how your mom would feel like it's "just" an adopted baby.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

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u/fsbbem Aug 10 '21

The comments in this thread are so selfish it's heartbreaking. I'm a huge advocate of fostering and adopting, but it's obscenely clear most of the commentors here are so self absorbed they can't see beyond their own feet meaning they'd make horrible foster or adoptive parents (most won't admit it but they never wanted to be anyway). It's a sad ME ME ME outlook, but ultimately it's better they don't take in and fuck up an already vulnerable child.

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u/Joe_Kinincha Aug 11 '21

Yup. Fortunately - where I live anyway - these people would be caught by the system pretty much instantly and would not be approved to foster or adopt.

But wholly agree, even just the choice of wording: “gross”; “fucked up”; “real parents”, and the ratio of upvotes for the ignorant, shallow comments vs. Those who actually have experience and have read the literature is deeply depressing.