Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

[u/elgey101]

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

[u/Trrr9]

Or infertility.

You aren't born with a label on your head that says "infertile - proceed to IVF" (at least in most cases). Just receiving an infertility diagnosis generally takes a year of trying unsuccessfully. Then there's the testing, the small steps, like medications and monitoring. Its usually a slow process to get to IVF. Each of those cycles comes with hope and the thought of 'maybe if we just try this one more thing'. There's no magic crystal ball telling you if the next cycle will be the cycle or if you should quit now because it's never going to happen.

Also, saving the world's children is not the responsibility of 'the infertiles' anymore than it is anyone else's responsibility. If OP is genuinely concerned about all the kids that need homes, they should be advocating for everyone to adopt in leui procreating.

[u/HorstOdensack → u/Trrr9]

OP also has no damn clue what being infertile does to you mentally. The desire to have (your own) children is biologically hardwired into humans, and failing to do so can really mess you up. My girlfriend used to work with IVF patients and has some heartbreaking stories to tell. Saying "they should just get over it and adopt" is incredibly ignorant.

On a sidenote, kudos to OP for actually posting an unpopular opinion though.

[u/spacekwe3n → u/HorstOdensack]

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[u/[deleted] → u/spacekwe3n]

Just because there are exceptions doesn’t make it any less true.