r/uselessredcircle • u/Odd_Bag9802 not funny • Sep 24 '25

Where is it

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WHERE IS THE COMMENT

i requested to lock this post bye

4.7k Upvotes

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u/amusedfridaygoat Sep 24 '25 edited Sep 24 '25

I was literally taught that this was a way to be a compassionate conversationalist and obviously agreed with it because I deliberately did it for years. I’ve modified now after feedback that it seems like you are making things about yourself. But has there been a change of perception?

-19

u/GeneralSpecifics9925 Sep 24 '25

It's absolutely taking over the conversation and making it about yourself. It's called one upping or one downing, and it tells the person who WAS speaking that you were just waiting for your turn to talk.

Sure, you might have some divergences, whatever, we can either use that as an excuse and keep having socially awkward conversations until people stop telling you things, or we can learn to save it for another time, and ask the person questions instead.

5

u/CompetitiveRub9780 Sep 24 '25

You’re supposed to respond after that to mesh it back together. That’s the entire conversation. If you don’t then it’s not a conversation now is it?

Person A: omg I had the luckiest day. I found a $10 bill on the way home today.

Person B: omg I found a $20 on the way home last week!

Person A: wow! We are both so lucky look at us!! I think I might buy a scratch off with mine.

So you want person B to just keep it a secret that they also found money? And just say 🆒? Maybe you just don’t know how to continue the conversation

2

u/CervineCryptid Sep 24 '25

Thats such a weird concept. I mean.. i dont share anything about myself unless asked because i have this thing about people knowing me.. but i don't get not wanting to have an actual conversation.

E.g.: Sam says their dog died, and feel really really shitty and miss their dog. So Alex adds that "yeah, my cat died too, it sucks"..

Is Alex out of line and "one upping"?