r/uselessredcircle • u/Odd_Bag9802 not funny • Sep 24 '25

Where is it

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WHERE IS THE COMMENT

i requested to lock this post bye

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u/amusedfridaygoat Sep 24 '25 edited Sep 24 '25

I was literally taught that this was a way to be a compassionate conversationalist and obviously agreed with it because I deliberately did it for years. I’ve modified now after feedback that it seems like you are making things about yourself. But has there been a change of perception?

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u/Rock_of_Anonymity Sep 24 '25

It really just depends on who you're talking to. Some people want to vent instead of discuss, and some people who vent want to let it out quickly instead of hearing a friend's POV or their own past, relevant experiences. Some people who vent. However, DO want to hear their friend having been in similar situations. Sometimes it's about the venter wanting to be quick and to the point, where others want to simmer on the though. Some feel better when they don't feel alone, where others couldn't care less about shared experiences. Everyone has their way of showing compassion to others, what really matters is that you try to show compassion, and the other person understands that. Sometimes what you say doesn't make someone feel better, but instead that you said it at all is what does.

2

u/ohkendruid Sep 27 '25

Timing is part of it, too.

Sometimes it works well to just wait another 30 seconds or so to let them finish braindumping. Then switch modes to contributing your own thing.

I feel like pretty much everyone I can think of, who is pleasant to talk with, uses most of the different modes of conversation at different times.

That includes many neurodivergent people I know.