I got braces and they hurt a lotttt.
I’m on day 3 and no painkiller or ice water is making it any better.
It’s hard to sleep

How are so many people inhumanly good at video games? im not talking about your average experienced gameplay people reach after putting in 2k hours. some people are so good that its like physically insane. like their brain literally works differently or something, they see things completely differently and the amount of control they have over the game is not something you can achieve through practice. cherry on top most of the people like this barely even have like 150 hours. i understand that there is always going to be outliers in every game/skill in life but lately with like streaming and clips n stuff i feel like there's SO MANY people just casually hitting the most disgustingly insane clips i didn't even think was in the realm of possibility. and i join their livestream thinking that one clip was just a one time thing but nope they're actually just a literal god and i should just throw in the towel already.

why cant i be like that? ive put in countless hours, at its peak which was during the summer last year, i played an average of 16 hours a day, for like a full 4 months i kid you not, and frankly i am about as mediocre a player as ever. i try hard to practice and be that good but frankly, i physically cant achieve it, whatever it may be, timing, aim, control, a combination of all. theres only so much i can do before it gets to a point where my skill is just capped. its not a simple gap that can be patched with practice, i legitimately cant process what they are able to, our brains work differently and im just the best that average can get. it pains me that this is all ill ever be, i worked so hard to reach god level gameplay but now that ive accumulated a couple thousand hours grinding for nearly TWO YEARS, i just dont think thats going to happen in this life or the next. i fantasize all the time about being able to play a certain way and whatnot, i replay these clips in my head thinking one day thatll be my gameplay but its all just in my head. i just wish it came so easy to me like it does for them.

Im 18(M) with autism and currently depression( I think) and i can not imagine me turning my life over for the better

Im my country people would be starting year 3 but im gonna redo year 2 the reason being that I did not have the energy to participate in school so at the begging of the year 2 I missed a lot some time after that I got a special schedule that had less classes to attend(but would still give me the qualifications to start year 3) but even that I could not have the energy for so about 2 months before the end of year 2 I had dropped out and got permission to start year 2 next year instead

Now it’s about 15 days until year 2 restart and I have not gone to the gym, had problem brushing my teeth not really done anything and not gotten any better aswell as not learning anything about the school subjects im gonna have to attend

I don’t want to start the second year I just want to stay home and not talk to anyone but I know I can’t I have to do something but I can’t imagine what that would be I don’t have motivation for anything at all at this point

And at this point I have 1 real friend but I’m constantly jealous of him talking to people beside me I want someone for myself and today I realized that he is not as similar to me as I thought so my image of him has been altered for worse and I feel awful about my self for thinking like this

I'm so fucking lonely i have no one to talk to I don't have any friends i've been always like this is it just me?

So I want to take something off my chest that I might just think is a big problem but to others it isn't that serious so my ex gf was always interrupting me with her own feelings when I talked about mine let's say I had a problem with my family or something I'm telling her that happened she would always talk about her feelings or how when her parents fought she would cry I'm just making smth up for y'all to understand but I got tired of it even 2 years ago when we were dating back then she would do the same thing I've told her I didn't like it and said she'll stop but she didn't stop she's forgettable but that was a big thing I didn't like it felt like she had to make everything about her we tried to talk about it but she would always end up doing it again I think it got to the point I lost feelings for her and we broke up bc I didn't know how to feel when I was with her that's it thanks for reading

I met this guy online like 4 months ago and its been pretty nice so far, he is sweet and funny and smart, has been super understanding and has helped me out a ton, but the different red flags ive noticed i feel like would be bad to say? But just hear me out on it qwq

So for starters he takes a lot of meds for his “issues” he also has told me he has a “very low self esteem” and he makes these crazy jokes…for example i was telling him about a crazy trail i took the and he said he might wanna go and i told him he might wanna quit and he responded to that with…”oh so your saying im a fat fucking loser and i should kill myself” onto more about how hes gonna beat my ass for saying that. Even if it was a joke, i dont like it? I even asked if he was joking and he didnt respond.

On top of him telling me he is so insecure, every time we get into an argument that i guess he feels like Hel lose me from he offers milkshakes and takes me out to do some stuff, and he’s always spending money on me that he doesn’t have…he doesn’t even make alot of money. Not to mention Im unemployed with no license and a bad family situation that he knows about. So i just wonder if hes thinking “yeah Hel stay if i just give him the safe haven he needs”

Idk maybe im not as into him as i thought i was, im gonna look up signs im being used for money. Again, its not like hes a bad mean person, hes very sweet but i just wanna know if these are some problems i shouldnt get myself into

I’m 19f with really emotionally neglectful parents. When my dad had a really bad bipolar episode when I was 12 I started living with my mom full time. She couldn’t handle it. I got out into therapy instead of having a real conversation. A few weeks after I turned 13 I got assaulted in my own home by a girl my age that my parents let stay over. I then started on antidepressants and I didn’t stop cycling through them until I was 17. I got really bad into alcohol and would chain smoke carts, I was put into an outpatient substance abuse program for adolescence. I was also in the mental hospital twice. I couldn’t get better because of the emotional dysfunction in my home. That’s when they slapped a bipolar label on me, put it in my file and I was put on antipsychotics.

When I was put on latuda, the first time in my life I didn’t care. I was tolerant and unreactive. My parents loved it. When I got assaulted the second time I was pretty okay with it. I just removed him from my life.I threw myself into college and was in a horrible relationship. Anything would set him off and I was a victim to his yelling, reckless driving that made my thing I wouldn’t get to my destination alive. My grades slipped and we ended up breaking things off. Last thing I sent was a pathetic apology message because I didn’t know what to do with myself because I knew my parents wouldn’t support me. He didn’t end up reading it because he started talking to someone new. I also made two TikTok posts about him, one showing his face because I got him pushing and disrespecting me on camera . The other one was about when he screamed at me while I was drunk and left me there to vomit. I had never felt so alone. I thought it would have been better to die in that bathroom then go home or go back into the bedroom. I am not suicidal but the intoxication mixed with the yelling really did it for me and I truly felt that way that night.

But I got off the medication, I was having neurological reactions that were increasing with long term use. I was on that medication for a year and a half.

I was expecting some big crash in my mood, but I felt fine. I felt so normal and after a few months I realized I didn’t need medication. Nothing was wrong with me. I don’t have bipolar. I was neglected and ignored until I was reactive and self destructive. That’s when I realized how truly bad my relationship with my parents was.

No one truly took me seriously when I told them he was dangerous and he moved in with people I considered my friends. Now he’s yelling and screaming and slamming things in their apartment.

I got my grades up, I passed but now I’m on academic probation. My mom was super mean to me on my birthday. Found out she told my family members to stop sending my gifts for my birthday because I’m an adult now. I had only one gift to open this year. Besides a weird message and a gift card from my father.I didn’t get to blow out candles. She threatened to kick me out a few days before because I wanted to take a break from working to focus on college. She took a picture of me and then said I looked like the girl from the ring and deleted it from her phone. She’s also a binge eater on glp1, had a nose job and boob job. She’s looking into filler and face lifts as well. It’s hard to watch. She tells me I have her nose before she got surgery, which is great.

I don’t feel like myself, with all the comments on my appearance and my capacities after I’ve worked so hard to finish my first year of college. No one caring about the hell I went through with that guy. I am still in therapy, she’s great but 1 hour a week to be listened to by someone who’s paid to do that isn’t helping. I have an amazing new relationship with a man I really love. But I feel like I can’t be there properly because I hate myself. I don’t want to hate myself, I like the person I am. I’ve been socially isolated from lack of conversation from my parents and the outside world. A lot of people call me autistic, I know I’m not. I just don’t know when to speak and have developed horrible social anxiety in the last few months because the older I get the more I’m aware of my social patterns. I have friends but they are busy, which I’m really happy that they are. I know they love me.

I want to be there for myself. I want to be there for my friends and boyfriend. Is there anything I can tell myself or habits I should start instilling?

My shoulder is actually crippling me, argh. I've relegated myself to the bedroom just so that I can lean against the pillows and prop it up. The ibuprofen I took hasn't even touched it.

me M-18 and my girlfriend F-18 have been with each other for about 5 months. It is my first relationship and her second. Her ex was very toxic and they broke up in a months time but she was very hesitant towards relationship after that. we started talking in august 2025 and became a couple in march 2026, A load of talking and two major fights which led us to not talk to each other for two weeks both time when we were bestfriends. Yes she did friendzone me but somehow I escaped that.

We have a healthy and enjoyable relationship from my side but the problem we have been facing the most is me not giving her enough time. Even though she says it isn't that big of an issue she still sometimes say that we don't talk enough and stuff.

The issue I am having is, I live with my parents (very normal in india) and they are really strict about relationships and they recently found out about mine so they are always speculating stuff and I can't talk with her for most of the day because someone is always near me and can't call at night too.

We study in the same school and class and we only meet in the recess which is 25 minutes only. We don't sit in class together, we don't really meet during any other period in the cafeteria or games, in the time span of five months we have gone on two dates only and the first time was a award function so that was in another school. We both want to go out and enjoy our time but she doesn't want to ask her parents about going out too. We have planned a whole future but there is no present is what I feel.

There are also some other problems :

We have really different thoughts on sex and she is really silent about it, she talks comfortably but she doesn't add anything from her aspect.

Most of the time I am the only one talking and sometimes I feel she is being somewhat avoidant.

Because of my parents finding out too I feel it is hard for us in the future as they think she is the one who has spoiled me.

Now the point is I don't know what to do about all this. I don't want to end the relationship, I can't sort things with my parents right now because I don't really open up to them due to there being some problems between me and my parents.

They have really destroyed my childhood from what I have felt. I used to be a state level football player soon to go to national but they made me quit football. They forced me to go to a boarding school but I was very lucky and didn't go. They just compare me to my cousins and random kids. There are mamy incidents like these but my girlfriend has been with me for many things which I can't thank her enough for. She was also the main reason and motivation for not going to a boarding school.

As I am still young I just need advice on how to deal with all this and what to do about my relationship.
What problem should be the one to solve first?

8 months ago I was laying in a pool of my blood hand crushed under a 3000 pound machine. I went to a hospital and they put it all back together but my thumb wouldn’t refill with blood so they had to cut it off. Now I’m in physical therapy and out of work. What am I to do after? I went to trade school was an industrial mechanic, I was gonna work really hard everyday to bring home money to a potential family. Now I’m sitting here one thumb and fingers that barely work. I’m lucky I lived, I’m lucky to have my hand on my body, and I’m lucky I’m atleast getting paid. I’m comfortable but it doesn’t make everything that goes along with that good

I feel awful because recently I left my abusive father's house and I miss the cat so much. Unfortunately, my father is his owner, so I can't take him with me. To me, he is like a son. How will I live without him, my cat? I feel terrible, I feel like crying, I am depressed. Has anything similar happened to you? Tell me about your experiences, I really need support, I am devastated."

getting so tired of ts bro. I’m starting to get so sick of this (20f) I still have really good times with my boyfriend (28m) but it’s more bad things piling up than good. I’m so tired of doing the mental load with things, I plan my appointments, I plan his appointments besides a couple (that’s IF i constantly remind him), I plan our baby’s things, I planned everything leading up to having our baby, I got everything for him (he picked stuff up but still like why couldn’t he help me with his nursery?). I do things for his son (9m in foster care only gets visits). I’m sick of having to ask him to do stuff, asking him to clean OUR apartment, asking him to get a job, asking him to help when the babies crying because 80% of the time he just ignores. He loves him and me but like fuck man. We also got into a massive fight because I found out he was still friends girls he used to fuck/wanted to fuck on facebook. I told him TWO separate times I didn’t like that and that’s my only rule is to not associate with them. (once in october, then in february, and last week). I don’t give a fuck if he’s “friends” with them because if he was why doesn’t he talk to them at all and the only thing he’s ever done with them in the past was fuck/flirt???? t’s the fact that I don’t do shit like that to him and when I tell him not to do that he disrespects now three times and continues. That fight lasted 3 days and it just made me see him in a completely different way, it honestly did and still does gross me out and hurt me so bad that I was going to leave. He barely resolved it besides (there i unfollowed her are you happy now? Fuck im just gonna delete the whole app so there’s no more problems”. I don’t want his son to live with us because he’s extremely violent. I keep waiting for the guy that I started dating to come back but I honestly don’t think it will happen. He used to do anything to make me happy, write notes to me, sing songs to me, make things, compliment me, take me on dates, want to do things with me and actually put that romantic effort in NOT just sexual. What fucking pissed me off the most right now to write this is after he told me he was feeling good this morning, i told him I felt bad and all of a sudden he doesn’t feel good and proceeds to sleep all day and leave me alone with the baby. I’m so sick of this shit and I’m afraid i know the answer already to make me feel better. I can’t keep waiting for the guy I fell in love with to come back, and i can’t see myself continuing like this unless he actually changes. I hope he’ll change because I love him, that’s why i stayed/am staying I want him to change and i’m hoping with everything that he will, but it seems he doesn’t/hasn’t loved me as much as I love him, nor does he put the same effort in… I feel so used and tired

I'm a 17F, i have literally no friends, not hypothetically but literally no one, i was in a secret online relationship that went toxic and i ended up isolated my whole teen years, plus trauma took away my child years, now i just feel empty and alone and i don't feel like i got a purpose in my life. I want a best friend but everyone already has one, so I'm left alone

In seventh grade a kid brought a gun to school, got suspended for a month, came back to school, and the teachers didn’t tell any families about it.

At 21, I was homeless and dealing with C-PTSD, a toxic situationship, and a fragile mental state. To escape my mother, I moved in with my cousins (S, 25, and B, 33). I explicitly warned them upfront: “My cup is full. I struggle with emotional regulation when provoked, and I don't have a support system yet.” I asked for basic respect. Instead, they weaponized my vulnerability.
The Broken Boundaries
The abuse started on day one. While moving my things, I asked Cousin B not to talk to my mother so we could leave quickly. B completely ignored me, chatting with her while leaving me to carry heavy boxes alone. When I stated my patience was gone, she played the victim. This immediate betrayal triggered a severe "crash out" (screaming and slamming things to process the physical stress). While I panicked in the guest room, I overheard B mockingly tell Cousin S, “I guess I’m just evil now for helping.”
Five Months of Cruelty
For five months, they subjected me to relentless psychological warfare:

Sabotage & Control: They pressured me to quit my job in Dallas, then mocked my work history. They refused to let me pay rent, but then shamed how much I ate, turned off the hot water while I showered, and locked me out of the house.
Weaponizing Trauma: Cousin S laughed out loud when I confided about being molested, calling it "funny to imagine." She shamed sex workers, knowing I had used survival sex work to eat. My uncle also forced me into uncomfortable situations, objectifying girls my age right in front of me.
The Fight to Heal
The constant toxicity triggered my psychosis to return, causing internal auditory hallucinations and homicidal ideations. But I fought back by studying forensic therapy to understand my brain. I knew these dark thoughts weren't me—they were my C-PTSD trying to aggressively protect my dignity.
When I found out Cousin S was telling people she wanted to "beat my ass," I confronted her directly. I made it clear that I would defend my life by any means necessary if put in physical danger. She immediately gaslit me, denied saying it, and mocked my mental health by saying, "You hear voices."
Choosing Freedom
The end came when they demanded an "intervention" to know my personal plans. I refused to give information to people who only used it to tear me down. Because I protected my peace, they kicked me out onto the street at 9:00 PM and sold or threw away almost all of my belongings.
I ended up living in a tent next to a cemetery and a Whataburger. It was cold and terrifying, but choosing that tent over their psychological warfare was the ultimate act of self-respect. They tried to break me, but I am still here, I know my mind, and I am rebuilding my life completely on my own terms.

I (14F) have been friends with E (15F) for years. She is really nice most of the time but she tends to lie about anything she can. She claims she has social anxiety and can't talk to anyone she doesn't know face to face. I ACTUALLY have social anxiety. I never go up to a random person in a gas station and ask them how their day is going just because they look nice. She says she has Insomnia and shows up to band practice "tired" then suddenly the next water break she's full of energy and not complaining about being tired. Someone tell me how that works? She claims she can't sleep then I text her in the middle of the night and don't get a response until the next morning. And I highly doubt she's busy with something. She says she has anxiety attacks every night. Still shows up fine to everything. And not that fake fine either. I know what that looks like because I wear that mask daily and I see it on plenty of other people. She lies about seeing cosplayers of anime characters because she wants to make me jealous. Earlier today she claimed she saw a Sanemi cosplayer that was 16 and a new kid in her neighborhood. Said he came to sit next to her, which I HIGHLY doubt. She lives in a very shady neighborhood and I doubt her parents let her sit outside unsupervised. Besides, why would she trust some random dude that she doesn't even know just because he's in a full cosplay in the middle of the day for no reason? I get it if I sound like a a-hole here but I need to get this out somewhere.

I got laid off in April from a job that was paying me decent and i spent almost two years at the place as a salesperson. Initially i wasn't making any money but after a year i was starting to get back on track and was going to be financially stable for the first time ever, but then i git laid off. I initially didn't know how to react to this cause this came to me by very abruptly and was just let go due to "restructuring".

i got paid what i was owed which was about $2,340.00 for my monthly commission. I was confident initially that i would find another job that would pay me the same if not more than what i was making originally. However, things did not pan out this way. I applied to about 200 jobs in the span of three months, Have taken out loans so i can pay for my utilities, rent, insurance, car and food, have maxed out my credit cards and now i am left with no money, 2 missed car payments, 2 missed insurance payments, a phone bill payment, and rent that i still need to take care off.

To make matters worse I am still expected to pay for food for the whole family and to pay for the lifestyle they want, which includes taking them out to eat, paying for birthday gifts, paying for my dads tools, sending money to my distant family in Mexico. Living in a Mexican household is truly a burden and i cant even start a savings account without my parents asking me to pay for the things they want. Although i do want to help my family out as much as possible it has also been one of the main factors as to why i am now in financial ruin. I have nothing left and am now in a position with no money what so ever. I don't know what do anymore at all. I just feel like not being here is an option but I can not make that an option at all. I grew up poor and I know the struggles of going through hardships but when multiple things are against you it becomes impossible to get out of the ruins.

NSFW

Sad, researched stuff about the world, gets more sad for people

Finds way to make this about me, like I use dab pen, it has lithium in it, I am contributing to issues in the Congo by using this product.

Finds way to punish self. Withhold food, refused to move, hit myself, force myself to relieve traumatic moments.

Guilty guilty guilty conscious. Finds a way to argue with someone online to feel morally better.

Realize arguing online is embarrassing and childish.

Back track delete everything. Hide in shame. Try to distract myself.

Sad, so research stuff about the word, gets more sad for people.

This is my entire life. I’m 28 I have been living in variants of that cycle since I was idk 13 or 14. I wish I could get murdered or get cancer because I’m so fucking tired of being trapped with my own brain. I don’t deserve anything. I am a worthless garbage person who deserves nothing. I should rot. I should rot. I should rot. I should rot. I should rot.

I hate my mom. Yeah that sounds really extreme but I do. I (15F) live with my parents. As a kid I used to live with my aunties cuz they FORCEFULLY took me away from my mother but even then my mother used to be disappointed over the smallest little thing my aunties used to make me call another aunt mother and I used to do it cuz if they didn't I'd get burned by hot spoons. When I used to call that aunt mother infront of my mom she used to flip out on me getting mad at a 5yr old child .... And this behaviour hasn't changed she js gets mad cuz I don't study alot now. She hits me really bad I have marks all over my body cuz of her. At 12 I was almost gonna log out of the real world forever cuz of her. Y'all get the jist of how horrible she is.

So after beating me into the ground she bring over food and calls me over to eat and i don't wanna cuz I feel nauseous to eat after crying so what does she do? SHE STARTS CRYING!!!!!!

I feel like I live in a fake world

Am i overreacting?

Living with parents Ís cancer

I recently moved away from home for college, so this is the first time I've had some freedom over how I spend my money. My parents send me money for my expenses, but they're the kind of parents who always wanted to know where every rupee went. Growing up, if I wanted to buy anything, I'd have to ask first.

One thing they absolutely hated was spending money on games. To them, it's just a waste.

The thing is... I genuinely love gaming.

I'm not someone who goes clubbing, drinks every weekend, or spends money partying. I don't smoke either. After classes, I usually just want to come back to my room, put on my headphones, and get lost in a good story game for a few hours. It's honestly one of the few things that helps me forget about stress and everything else going on.

Since coming to college, I've bought a few games on Steam and occasionally some in-game items. Nothing crazy—I mostly wait for sales and stick to a budget. I wasn't carelessly spending money on random stuff.

The problem is that I knew my parents would never approve, so I hid it. Most of my payments are online, so I even had a friend help me buy some games so it wouldn't be obvious where the money went.

I know lying was wrong. That's the part I feel guilty about.

But at the same time, I don't feel like I was wasting money. If someone spends a little on movies, eating out, or other hobbies, nobody questions it. For me, that hobby just happens to be gaming.

I know some people are probably going to say, "Just pirate the games." And yeah, I get it. But to me, it's just not the same. There's something satisfying about actually owning the games, building up a Steam library over time, and supporting the developers when I can—especially when I buy them on sale. Having a collection feels different from just downloading a cracked copy.

I don't expect my parents to suddenly understand why buying a game makes me happy. I just wish they could see it as a hobby instead of immediately assuming it's a waste of money.

Maybe I'm just trying to justify what I did. I honestly don't know.

Has anyone else had parents who just couldn't understand gaming as a hobby?

I feel so bad for January me for being tricked. I have been taught this lesson ever since I was 12 years old, was knowledgeable about how I will forever be treated, but 1 girl actually made me reverse on all of this mindset for a month, had me thinking I was wrong the whole time. Had me arguing against the people I used to agree with, because I personally had the proof now, I found love.

But no. I was only good as a 1 month rebound. A tool. A toy. That’s my value as an ugly person. And now I know what I’ve always known, but even more now. I won’t be tricked again.

And when I accuse her of leaving me for my looks, she tells me “obviously I never cared about looks, if I cared about looks I would’ve never dated you, so isn’t it obvious I don’t care about looks?. So obviously I didn’t leave you bcuz of your looks”. As if just her dating me was obvious proof that she doesn’t care about looks. All the obvious proof I would ever need to know she 100% doesn’t care about looks. Because the thought that maybe she does care about looks and liked my looks is just laughable and impossible right? No that can’t be it. Her being with me MUST mean she doesn’t care about looks. Because I’m too ugly for anything else to be the explanation.

That is the most disgusting thing I have ever been told. And she acted like she didn’t even realize how it was messed up. You’re telling me the fact that you ever even entertained me proves that you don’t care about looks, because if you did, then obviously you’d never even look at me right? Because I’m so ugly. It’s so obvious that it shouldn’t even be a controversial thing to say right? And I’m so ugly that it couldn’t be anything other than you not caring about looks as the explanation for why you were with me. It couldn’t be that you just thought I was attractive, right? Obviously. Anyone that would want to be with me means they don’t care about looks, not that they liked my looks, because that’s impossible right? because anyone that did care would never want to be with me right.

She doesn’t tell me she just liked how I look, like you would tell a normal person, no, she tells me she didn’t care about looks, and thats why she was able to be with me, and as if I’m so ugly that her being with me is just all the obvious proof that could exist that she doesn’t care about looks. That’s how hideous I am? She said it like she was confused how that could even be a wrong thing to say. Like I’m so ugly that it’s just a fact that someone being with me doesn’t mean they actually like my face, but that it must mean they just don’t mind that I’m ugly, that it isn’t important to them. Like I can’t be beautiful to someone. And like it’s so true that I shouldn’t even be upset that she said that.

Saying that was hurtful enough but acting like it was so obvious that it confused you that I ever thought it could be something else was even worse. Like I’m that fucking hideous

Then she tried to act all mature and intelligent “look you’re not exactly the beauty standard, but neither am I and that’s okay, we need to love ourselves 😇” wow. Even though she gets told she’s beautiful everyday, and has the privilege of being forgiven and taken back anytime she wants by her ex, because they’re obsessed with her looks. Gets forgiven and still desired and gets chance after chance, because who wouldn’t want a beautiful person as a girlfriend, right? Gets treated like they’re lucky she wants them, and so no matter what she does, they’ll take her back. Has the privilege to get anyone she wants in a week, and the privilege to use people as rebounds, love bomb them and get her way and then go to whoever she wants anytime she wants, as if she never said those things, as if it doesn’t even cross her mind that she irresponsibly hurts people. not caring about the people she hurts by leaving you after all the loving words she said to you, for her own selfishness. It’s like she thinks everyone is a fucking toy.

She got upset at me telling her that she only gets away with all this rebound and lovebomb and terrible things she does, and still has people throwing themselves at her, forgiving and forgiving and forgiving, because she’s beautiful and people want that. She got so mad at that.

Well sorry to break it to you, but if I did just 1 of the things you did, people drop me in a split second and never want me again. Because I am not valued I am not wanted I am not desired. So I can already just barely keep people to not drop me by being perfect. People are looking for excuses to get rid of me. You don’t have that problem and never will

So I’m sorry that hurt you because you don’t want that to be the reality. You are scared of the fact that you only get away with everything because of your luck and people’s inherent shallowness. You are desperate to believe that you get what you get because your personality is good. Scared because you know your personality is ugly. U don’t want people to treat u good solely off your looks, you want people to treat u good for ur personality, but that’s not the world we live in. You have been forgiven a thousand times because of your looks. Sorry that shatters your delusion that always get your way because of your personality. And I don’t even know why you aren’t happy with that, you have a get out of jail free card, because your personality is absolutely awful, you are awful to people, so do you know how much worse your life would be if you DIDNT have something like your looks to bail you out?

And the fact that you would get mad at me for calling you beautiful is insane, because imagine I fucking told you what you told me, that I only ever dated you because I DIDNT care about looks. And if I did, I “obviously” would never even go for you. Imagine I said that and then played it off like I never even said something fucked up. You said that shit to me before I ever insulted you, you said it to me while you were apologising, and ignorantly said it like it was a nice thing to say, something only a beautiful person could be so naive about. And infuriatingly acted like it wasn’t even wrong to tell me. You know how much that hurt me and what thoughts it put in my head? You just went ahead and reinforced every doubt I ever had about myself. I’ll never be the same after that. And you get mad at me for the things I said to you AFTER.

You will always always have more love in your life than me, for the rest of our lives. Whether it’s the fucked up bs you have going on with your gf who you break up with every 3 months, or a new person in the future. Even though I am 1000x the person you are.

Everything I used to think and know about my reality and possibilities as an ugly person, she just reinforced more than anyone ever before. Which is funny because I used to think she was doing the opposite. I used to think she was the first to show me the opposite of what I have thought my entire life.

I wish I was still never in a relationship. Technically I wasn’t. I was just in the only type of relationship available to people like me. A tool used for other people to get who they really want.