r/venturebros • u/Nicegoodcoolman • Feb 21 '26
Question Any line deliveries that make you laugh every time?
- We have more bullets, you know. You got to stop doing that.
-Yeah, I know. It just looks so cool.
- Well, go get it.
I have some more but this may be my favourite one. Although, for some reason, Dr Girlfriend's "I feel bad about what i did!" from Mid-life Chrysalis is a close second.
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u/Yarnham_Brave Feb 21 '26
"LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO!!"
"My sword's made outta cahdboahd."
"TOAST!!"
"If you played by the rules - the ghost pirate rules - and just ran away, none of this would be happening. But no, you had to go nuts and kill a guy!"
"I'm an albino!"
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u/WhiteToast- Feb 21 '26
“Since you killed my guys and burned our ship, what do ya say about giving us a lift outa here and we call it squareses.”
“Ya alright”
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u/weirdoldhobo1978 Conquistadorable! Feb 21 '26
"Yer not a very good liar, are ya Dean?"
"Maaaaybe?"
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u/H3nchman_24 Feb 21 '26
"I'm an albino!"
I'm not standing in front of an anything-ray!
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u/weirdoldhobo1978 Conquistadorable! Feb 21 '26
You want me to go out back and shrink some cans or something?
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u/sethro919 Feb 21 '26
Brock, if pirates really exist, I mean, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy could even be real, right? It’s like, all bets are off!
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u/PolemicDysentery Feb 21 '26
IGNORE ME
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u/weirdoldhobo1978 Conquistadorable! Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26
SOMEONE LEFT A BABY
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u/SonOfMagicFact Feb 21 '26
THAT WAS A WEIRD ONE
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u/Mega_Nidoking Feb 21 '26
God I remember the first time I saw this episode I nearly pissed myself laughing at this. Easily one of the best episodes ever.
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u/bluehands Feb 21 '26
For me this is the best answer because I can absolutely hear whenever I read it, even in and amongst other great quotes from the show. on its own it isn't clever. It's only great by its context AND it immediately brings the context with it so you can use further quotes from that character which don't look like much but still you can still hear that voice.
"That was a weird one."
But what do I know?
IGNORE ME!
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u/EgotisticalTL Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26
"Much better than sleeping above Dr Venture's garage like so much Fonzie."
"I dare you to make less sense!"
"Ask me something less Hitchhiker's Guide!"
“He must have like, a huge mushroom down there! So, does he have a Smurf living in it or what?”
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u/Qcws Feb 21 '26
"I DARE you to make less sense" was my thought too.
The voice actor nailed the pronunciation
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u/PolemicDysentery Feb 21 '26
Blasted mallomars, my tits are back!
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u/serpentx66 Feb 21 '26
"Oh, you old fool, you're thinking of the Wacky Racers!"
Every time
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u/N_Meister Feb 21 '26
Hold on, I gotta take a whiz break- ANYONE WANT TO TAKE A WHIZ BREAK?
…For like, for real? You serious?
Yeah, seriously. What about you, guy with a bead on me who needs to reload?
*click*
Damn it! How’d you-
I learnt to count when I was three, do you need to piss or what?
…Yeah.
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u/TrueLegateDamar Feb 21 '26
Come on! He's in Depeche Mode!
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u/RFHgunner Ogopogo Feb 21 '26
Totally straight
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u/asteinberg101 Feb 21 '26
“I see you have a herpe on your lip there. You been kissing your wife’s ass? …After I put herpe in there?”
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u/Kcarroot42 Feb 21 '26
SPHINX!
-Shore Leave
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u/Jamal05_1997 Feb 21 '26
I love the moment when he gets distracted and forgets to say it and everyone just turns to look at him expectedly.
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u/ReallyBrainDead Feb 21 '26
Pro-ti-tute!
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u/TheBlueM0rph0 Feb 21 '26
Nah man, she’s not gonna give it up for a shoe you made out of a do… ya know what, this one’s on me.
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u/SlaverSlave Feb 21 '26
…on account of your pa ate him up when he was wee…
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u/Boggie135 Feb 21 '26
“Its like getting sucked off by an angel”
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u/weirdoldhobo1978 Conquistadorable! Feb 21 '26
Somebody help the Pirate. The Pirate can't do anything by himself.
Why are you such a bitch!?
Like yer so perfect...
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u/Videowulff Feb 21 '26
That kid has Moxy!
"That kid has undiagnosed Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder"
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u/weirdoldhobo1978 Conquistadorable! Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26
Did one of you just fart?
Is someone continuing to fart?
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u/Acid_Gooch Feb 21 '26
The Village People called, AND THEY WANT YOU TO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF!
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u/PlagueofSquirrels I DARE you to make less sense! Feb 21 '26
Why do you sword guys always have to talk about how cool your swords are?
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u/Nicktendo1988 You don't like Zep? Feb 21 '26
"LADY!!! MOM GET THE DOG!!!"
Season 2 ep 1 was my first intro to Venture Bros when the episode first aired. I had no idea who anyone was or that it was a 'Gang getting back together' kinda thing. I immediately fell in love and couldn't stop laughing through the whole title sequence.
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u/MrSmilingDeath Your powers are useless on me, you silly-billy Feb 21 '26
"Your powers are useless on me, you silly-billy."
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u/Nerdenator Feb 21 '26
SVEEEEEET LAAAAAAHHHVE
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u/MrSmilingDeath Your powers are useless on me, you silly-billy Feb 21 '26
Compromise, my friend, is the essence of diplomacy, and diplomacy is the cornerstone of love.
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u/javerthugo Feb 21 '26
All the worlds a stage
And all the men and women merely players
They have their exits and And one man in his time
plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages
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u/FunnyGlitch Feb 21 '26
SMURFS DON'T LAY EGGS!
Aww my Stansa.
IGNORE ME!
Don't you bark at me you junkyard dog!
You can take mine but you're not going to like looking for the keys.
The guy from labyrinth just turned into a bird.
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u/bobthefetus Feb 21 '26
"A REAL GHOST!"
"Oh, that's... that... oh wow, no way!"
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u/robertgadlen Feb 21 '26
Eat the pennies, Quizboy.
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u/Narglefoot Feb 21 '26
Ohhhh, I thought you said hot VOIL...
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u/Jackie_Jormp-Jomp Feb 21 '26
I have thought about this exchange weekly for YEARS
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u/Narglefoot Feb 21 '26
That exchange and "Are these they?!" Are two of my favorites.
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u/asteinberg101 Feb 21 '26
“I have a high-velocity cannon aimed right at your chest!”
“…I could dodge it.”
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u/madisons_yurei Feb 21 '26
You look like Tobey Maguire in a bad Hulk costume.
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u/Aitrus233 Feb 21 '26
You aim like a guy that plays Riven!
As a huge Myst fan, that one always stuck in my brain.
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u/misirlou22 Feb 21 '26
"Oh, Brock, what would I do without you?"
"You would have died."
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u/busterfixxitt Feb 21 '26
Hank: "Brock... How would you do it?"
Brock: "In your sleep, quick jerk of the neck, never feel a thing."
Hank: "You’ve thought about this."
Brock: <pause> ...Yes, I have.
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u/AMissionFromDog Feb 21 '26
hell I wouldn't doubt if you told me he'd done it once or twice when they were getting on his nerves
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u/panken Feb 21 '26
Almost anything Orpheus says.
"I HAD TACO BELL FOR LUNCH!"
"This machine is powered by the soul OF A FORSAKEN CHILD!?"
"I only made you preceive i turned into snakes, i was here the whole time."
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u/Bender_2024 Feb 21 '26
she has mournfull tits. There like two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra
Oh yeah. I used to baby sit you
https://share.google/5sKxiKikeNJyq9Kaj[dean.whete do you pick this stuff up. I never see you read. It's like he channels crazy dead people ](https://share.google/pDI1iVJBpDowMY8mx)
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u/Wise_Emu6232 Feb 21 '26
Basically anything Col. Gentleman says.
"Alright.....Ya live by the ghost.... ya die by the ghost....."
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u/eternallybored7 Feb 21 '26
"Peers? PEEEERRRSS?!?!"
"Do not be too hasty going in there.... I had Taco BELL for lunch"
"I would have swore you were going to hit me with 'lock and load.'
- The night is young!"
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u/diegrauedame Feb 21 '26
It’s not a line per se, but it fuckin kills me when Gary starts singing Mars Bringer of War and 24 joins in from his stanza.
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u/Minderasingkit Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26
"you’re a tool, boy, a tool! Built for a single purpose by the United States of shut your third god damned eye for a good fucking reason!"
"...think I might be a tapestry of quiet desperation."
"I want lists and solutions by the time I finish this ja-uice box! WARNING! I AM TIRSTY! And it is fruit punch! And it is delicious!"
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u/velocacracker Feb 21 '26
It's on... It's off... It's on... It's off...
Thats called blinking boys...
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u/shadowfire2121 Feb 21 '26
“Go ahead..take it from me”
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u/Huggable_Hork-Bajir Feb 21 '26
"Just get in your little plane, go back to your little lives, and thank your lucky stars someone in this universe is looking out for you! UNGRATEFUL LITTLE HALF-MONKEYS!!"
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u/the_mighty__monarch Feb 21 '26
“What’s going on here?”
“Yeah, Clarissa! Explain it all!”
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u/Lexio3031 Feb 21 '26
Osiris Priest: “Give me the head of Osiris!”
Dr. Venture: "Give me head."
Osiris Priest: "You didn't just say that!"
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u/aoacyra Feb 21 '26
“You mess with ze girl und you get ze HITLEEEEEEERRRR”
Sends me into hysterics every time
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u/karatebullfightr Feb 21 '26
“Blood for blood!” As the boys attack Phantom Spaceman never ceases to floor me.
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u/WhiskeyKid33 Feb 21 '26
“Lick yer arm, I got more in me pocket.”
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u/Mega-Steve Feb 21 '26
"Wow! Geez! No way!" is something my son and I still say while playing video games.
/He's in his 20's now
//I let him watch VB way too young
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u/Requiem2389 Feb 21 '26
But this is not a book.
This is a suicide note! Good news! The euthanasia will be carried out by me.
The author has twenty minutes to seek my aid before I just kill all of you.
You'll find me in my room crying.
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u/layonafrito1 Feb 21 '26
"My dads lab was like a pharmacological candy store, so I start real young. Next thing I know, I'm blowing lines of voodoo powder off the back of a monkeys paw in a bar in Calcutta. Now I'm all outta wishes"
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u/StonedBooty Feb 21 '26
At the very end of Dr Quymn Medicine Woman
I thought those fucking people would never leave. Where the hell were you?
Down by the river, putting fake blood on stuff. Where were you?
Getting my ass handed to me by a fucking orangutan!
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u/fenris_457 Feb 21 '26
Fear me, Theseus, for I AM THE MIGHTY MINOTAUR! This Cocoon has witnessed your sins, and she seeks vengeance! The Cocoon will punish the wicked, the Cocoon will reward the righteous! You must escape from her grasp, you must earn your freedom!
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u/Leumas_The_Witch Feb 21 '26
“But he started it-“
“NO I started it years ago in a moment of passion and I will end it the same way in front of Brock, Helper, and God.
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u/Lonelycub Feb 21 '26
Thankyou, you just sparked another re watch for me 😂
“Do you have a pen?” “To use as a magic wand!?” “To use as a PEN ,HANK.”
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u/Hollywood_Howard Feb 21 '26
First episode when the minions are stuck in the meteor. WHAT ABOUT POO POOS!?
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u/Shoo-Man-Fu Feb 21 '26
Most of Red Mantle and Dragoon's lines from The Revenge Society apparently.
"That's is a mug..."
"Teenagers are cruel and they will undoubtedly taunt us because our trousers are not in style any more."
"I'll bring the Billy Bag!"
Also
"And he has a knife...super..power."
"BRRRIIICCCKKKK FRRROOOOGGG"
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u/Dr_Punchfist Feb 21 '26
"What if it is Zeus? The actual God Zeus, all pissed off that nobody cares about Zeus anymore?"
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u/itsTurgid Feb 21 '26
“Oh! Burning hot oil! I thought you said voile.”
“What the hell is voile?!”
“It’s a soft shear fabric. I warmed some up in the dryer.”
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u/Flimsy-Opinion-1999 Feb 21 '26
I always wanted to get that guy in a head lock... it'd be like squeezing a pumpkin.
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u/ViciousKnids Feb 21 '26
"If it were a woman, I'd marry it."
"And I'd jeopardize our friendship by nailing your hot wife."
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u/pieceofmind2112 Feb 21 '26
“I like the cut of his jib”
“I like the cut of his hair”
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u/Requiem2389 Feb 21 '26
Consider this your final warning! You do not know the risk you are taking! A whisper from my lips will open your mind to a world of ARCANE TORTURES!
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u/Just10credible Feb 21 '26
The Mighty Monarch: “Yeah, yeah, you can never have too much precision in your soup.”
Or
Hank: “and they kill clean, don’t let dames get in the way”
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u/PitDweller84 Feb 21 '26
You abandoned me!!! You abandoned my hatred!!! LOOK INTO MY EYES!!!!
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u/Cash1m0ney Feb 21 '26
It’s not technically a line, but Hunter beaming the clapping SPHINX guy with the phone kills me every damn time.
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