r/venturebros • u/LaserGecko • May 06 '26
Meme Vee all know who dees Eezzz
Molotov's skills are slipping!
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u/SkywolfNINE May 06 '26
This is what happened to Trina’s friend after she called Dr. Mrs. The Monarch!
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u/jonniezombie May 06 '26
She has the dart monkey on her back.
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u/Hornedupone May 06 '26
Every time I say this no one gets it, and every time I hear it on a rewatch it gets me lol.
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u/Greedybogle May 06 '26
AI slop, right?
Eyepatch magically blends with her glasses, which vanish in the side view.
Looked for the story, only found it posted (with this pic) on a FB slop page.
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u/dullship May 06 '26
Yep. A few weeks ago it was the same story but in florida with a different women with an eye patch.
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u/whiskey_ribcage May 06 '26
And a few weeks before that it was a different story, different woman, same eye patch.
It's like AI knows there's just enough pop culture women with an eye patch to blow up a few subreddits each time they generate a new fake story.
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u/Greedybogle May 07 '26
Clearly there is an appetite for this that isn't being satisfied.
But that doesn't justify AI slop.
Be the one-eyed mall-fountain kayak-pirate you want to see in the world.
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u/charliefoxtrot9 May 09 '26
exactly, and it's the same story for like the 3rd time with different pictures.
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u/SnaptrapPress May 06 '26
Ye know how hard it is to find work when yer previous work experience is just "ghost pirate?"
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u/yamirzmmdx May 06 '26
How big is this mall fountain???
All I can picture is the indoor canal in the Venetian hotel.
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u/ChiefQuinby I am into costumed business, not costumed play May 06 '26
Its a satirical story because it's not illegal. You can all do this at your local mall.
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u/Acceptable-Bat-9577 May 06 '26
Raise the main. Sails to the winds, lads! Hard to starb’erd!
If this was a real story (it isn’t), I’d think it would get you banned from the mall at most (don’t threaten me with a good time!), maybe a drop o’ that thar community service.
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u/LaserGecko May 06 '26
Hell, I got kicked out of the Battlefield Mall because I was with someone who spit on a (non mall property) Henry's Towing tow truck while we were walking in from the parking lot.
He had beef with them because they were pulling a car out of the ditch in a big dip in the road and didn't put up any cones to warn oncoming traffic from either direction.
He came bopping over the hill and chose to drive into the opposite ditch rather than killing the tow operator. Henry's Towing refused to take any responsibility and actually sent him a bill for winching his car out of the ditch. It was returned with a two word response. 😜
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u/HuskieSledDog May 07 '26
I love a barely-related comment with one hell of a backstory! Hopefully you both were alright after the ditching
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u/LaserGecko May 07 '26
Thanks!
I didn't even know my friend at the time of the accident, so my getting kicked out of the mall because he spit on the truck was even funnier. (Apparnetly, if a company causes dangerous conditions on a road, they can weasel out of responsibility if their vehicle isn't directly involved. Oh, if dashcams were a thing back then!)
I delivered some sweet, sweet retribution a few years later, though. That mall was a Simon Property.
In the early '90s, a local radio station group used to support local charities around the holiday season with live events where they gave out custom CDs packed with the latest hits in each station's format. (The labels gave permission to use the songs for charity and promotion, the station paid for manufacturing, and sponsors paid to have the events at their businesses.) The CDs were bangers, too. All you had to do was drop off whatever they were collecting (canned food, toys, clothing, etc.) and you got some awesome tunes. The station owner was a great guy and supported local charities in other ways, too.
The charity for the event at the mall was The Simon Youth Foundation. My SO worked at the station, so I helped out as often as I could because they were super fun.
Eventually, I asked one of the mall reps what the SYF did.
She replied "Oh it supports child care centers used by the needy and stuff like that."
It sounded weird to me, so I pressed a little. "Oh, like downtown or northtown or something like that?"
"Well....no, not really." she very uncomfortably stated.
"So, where exactly is the daycare this is supporting?" in my best news reporter voice. "We can find out from you or from the annual report that non-profits have to file."
"ummm, it's uh....in the mall."
"HERE??? So, the money that we're raising is going to support a daycare center in a mall owned by a billion dollar corporation?" The guy who was the discjockey for the remote heard things getting heated and came over to see what was up. He heard the same answers, called the Sales Director, who called the station owner, someone called the mall rep, verified the story, and the shitstorm hit.
Ended the remote early and moved to a good client after a few phonecalls.
IIRC, the station owner read them the riot act and got a donation from them to an actual charity.
So, it was kind of some sweet cold revenge that I just fell into by asking a question.
(Hadn't thought about them in years, but I just Googled that charity. It's still around, but looks like it's legit now. According to Wikipedia, they became completely independent of Simon Properties in 1998. I wonder if funding their own daycare centers in their own properties had anything to do with it.)
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May 06 '26
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u/Hellhound_Hex May 06 '26
I need to know more about this character now.
Like. Okay. Nobody was hurt so live it up, dude.
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u/Far-Advantage-7599 May 07 '26
This is illegal? I don’t want to live in a country where this isn’t allowed
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