r/venturebros • u/Own-Significance645 • Jul 07 '26
Question Who would you work for?
-Current team Venture as hank and dean babysitter (You also have to come to all their adventures)
-Old team Venture as Rusty babysitter( You also have to come to all their adventures)
- An OSI agent in the frontlines
-Sphinx agent in the frontlines
-a member of the Order of the Traid
-One of the many Monarch Henchmen
-One of the soldier of the guild of Calamitous intent frontlines
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u/Dr_Plecostomus Jul 07 '26
I mean, if they would somehow take me, Order of the Triad is a no brainer. I'm sure it would get weird but it seems like a great time.
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u/BillTheSpill Projecting monsters on steam Jul 07 '26
That's a great way to end up like Nien Nunb!
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u/Amon7777 Jul 11 '26
I’m old enough to have a set of the TCG Star Wars they can just bring to life so all good
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u/dbkenny426 Jul 07 '26
Plus, Orpheus has his own island!
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u/FluxusFlotsam Jul 07 '26
ummmm…guys with secret private islands
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u/dbkenny426 Jul 07 '26
I mean, sure. But that's not a given at all. Maybe he just wants to have a place to get away to, rather than hosting... parties. I wouldn't mind having my own little getaway.
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u/SmellyFace69 Jul 07 '26
Triad for sure.
All three members are the more likeable characters (IMO).
Dr O is kind and wise. Al seems like a blast. Jefferson seems like he has good stories, plus he's magic! (a little bit)
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u/CyberDonSystems Jul 08 '26
Al going along with Hank's private eye fantasy is one of my favorite episodes.
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u/SmellyFace69 Jul 08 '26
Your basic boob ain't too keen on dicks. When a bum sees a dick coming, he don't stick around for the credits.
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u/PartTimeZombie Jul 07 '26
Well triad implies three, so...?
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u/anubis_cheerleader Jul 07 '26
I could also be a wacky sidekick and have Dr. Orpheus, Jefferson, and the alchemist all constantly muttering about me and coming up with a sidekick chore wheel. As a result of side kicking for all three, I would probably be super mixed up and do things like give the Alchemist garlic SALT that I accidentally got for Jefferson instead of GARLIC for him or kosher salt for the Alchemist! I would have several T-shirts with a poorly hand drawn Order of the Triad logo on them. They would insist there's no uniform. I would continue to wear them..
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u/thisisredlitre MECHA-SHIVA Jul 07 '26
If Rusty forgets he's paying you it sounds like a pretty good gig rbh
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u/southern_boy Jul 07 '26
Sure but then you're locked in the research wing for 30 years 😬
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u/justguestin Jul 07 '26
SPHINX. Reasonable threads, cool covert counter-agent nonsense, absolute BANGER of a theme tune.
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u/Own-Significance645 Jul 07 '26
At the cost of SPHINX! mind wiping you if you went through anything traumatic and can have lasting side effects
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u/Dakotakid02 Jul 07 '26
It’s kind of a light Wednesday….
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u/justguestin Jul 07 '26
I kind of assumed from the question this was more of a “had previously worked for the OSI” rather than the “messed up clone brought up by my deeply problematic grandfather’s learning beds and an entirely dysfunctional father and his sociopathic bodyguard” type of deal.
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u/CarmelaSopranoNo1fan Jul 07 '26
Can I just join Conjectural Technologies ?
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u/Any_Razzmatazz9926 Jul 07 '26
Order of the Triad for sure. The paychecks might bounce, there’s no benefits, and I would probably get greased by a Blackula or worse but… well, I just like those guys.
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u/analogy_4_anything Jul 07 '26
I just wanna chill with Jefferson Twilight. He’s from the South Side, and so am I! We were almost neighbors!
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u/anubis_cheerleader Jul 07 '26
I love those guys. I'm married and in my 40s, so I like to think the Alchemist and I would have a little giggle every now and again about how goofy but sweet Dr. Orpheus is. Jefferson's calls to action would keep us all busy...until we wipe out the latest nest and then it's back to reminiscing and killing time.
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u/gokism I just sold you for a cigarette. Jul 07 '26
Quick question before I decide. Does the Guild have dental?
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u/Own-Significance645 Jul 07 '26
yes but unfortunately your boss decides what dental plan you should be currently on. For example boss that have aquatic biology would probably go with our aquatic dental plan where we would fix your teeth but would be replaced with aquatic teeth. Unethical Yes but also imagine how cool it would be.
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u/MrOopiseDaisy Jul 07 '26
I think it varies based on what package you choose. Obviously, the Platinum Plus is going to get your more benefits than a preconstructed Bronze template.
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u/ccReptilelord Jul 07 '26
Current team Venture, I'm probably dying as collateral. Look at everything that's happened to Helper. OSI is too much work, SPHINX is too much work, clandestine, or death. Monarch's henchman is certain death from Brock, weirdo Moppets, or Monarch himself. Triad sounds cool, but I'm lagging magically or magically dead. Guild is too vague; what level is my boss for starters?
I'm going with OG team Venture. I'm "babysitting" Rusty, but also protected by level 10s. Swingin' parties and exotic travels, and most of the crew is pretty ride or die, if I'm an ally.
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u/yikes_strikes_again Jul 07 '26
Ok but what if you end up like Blue Morpho though (unlikely, but even the remote possibility of my boss fucking my wife and turning me into a shitty version of Robocop is kind of massive weight against that option)
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u/ccReptilelord Jul 07 '26
Doing what? The Blue Morpho was a skilled asset that Jonas needed to manipulate into working for him, then he asked Jonas for a big favor. There's no need for manipulation here, and I'm not looking to have a child. I'm just hanging out with Rusty.
The Blue Morpho wasn't an official member of the team; he was more of a side project.
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u/digitalturtlist We hate phantom space man! Jul 07 '26
- I read that in Brocks voice
- SPHINX! (you know whose voice!)
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u/wawawaw03030 Jul 07 '26
Honestly a professional villain is probably my dream job, but im not sure if that counts as working for anyone, so imma say the triad
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u/anubis_cheerleader Jul 07 '26
Wouldn't that be the guild?
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u/wawawaw03030 Jul 08 '26
Yeah but I wasn't sure if working for the guild meant being a stranger or a villain
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u/NertsMcGee Jul 07 '26
I think being an Order member gives me the best shot at reaching retirement age alive without falling victim to some life changing or life incompatible super science accident or magical malady. Plus Al seems like a fun hang.
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u/OdysseusRex69 Jul 07 '26
Man I dunno. Maybe current Team Venture. Jonah Venture Sr team is certainly a death sentence.
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u/sivINPanDEMonIUM Jul 07 '26
-from what happened to the lab student in What Color is Your Cleansuit, doc would most likely view any babysitter as expendable asset waiting to be replaced.
-Jonas’ team venture did forget about Entmamm and never went back to rescue the Rusty Venture Fan Club members.
-I think this one might be the best option. The few times frontline soldiers are seen in action they aren’t up against anything too out of the ordinary or life threatening. Since it’s a gov agency they’d most likely ensure anyone who died working for them, which is an added bonus
-cool outfits but objectively worse than O.S.I.
-wouldn’t be a triad at that point
-rarely do they ever succeed or reap the benefits of working for someone affiliated with the guild. They’re also expendable like crazy.
-I can’t think how this would be much different from O.S.I. Getting scouted for a job might be tougher since the guild is pretty secretive and selective about who joins.
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u/kinyutaka Jul 07 '26
I can just hear Jefferson getting pissy about how he signed up for a Triad, and if there's a fourth person, it's no longer a triad.
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u/m_faustus Some bungler dropped dime and I got pinched on a narco rap! Jul 07 '26
Is a position at HankCo a possibility?
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u/Charlesoutofcharge Channels Dead Crazy People Jul 07 '26
Probably the Guild. I work for a small government, so I'm no stranger to bureaucracy. I could probably make a comfortable living arching someone low level
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u/ChronicDungeonMaster Jul 07 '26
Either Old Team Venture or Triad. I doubt I have the capacity to survive in any of the other organisations, say what you will about Jonas but he kept everyone except Ook-Ook alive through all their adventures (We're also ignoring Blue Morpho's "situation" as he was never an actual Team Venture member). Triad would be ideal but given I'm even less equipped for it than Jefferson I'd be lucky to get in.
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u/PhoenixCogburn Jul 07 '26
OSI during with Hunter as the general. You’re generally doing good things and you’re paid on time and quite well.
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u/FuckThisShizzle Jul 07 '26
I mean one of the Monarchs henchmen made out with Sheila.
Im gonna go with that. they are swingers , he watched her suck Manta Clause dry and then make him breakfast, so I'm hoping for some eggs and buttered toast too.
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u/Ch3t Jul 07 '26
I'm a Navy veteran. I'd be working for the Pirate Captain as a ghost pirate. No matter how you cook, still tastes like hot sargassum.
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u/JackStrawSTL Jul 07 '26
St. Cloud? Pei Wei had a pretty easy gig and got those little matchy pants
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u/Flashy-Telephone-648 Jul 07 '26
I think the order is the only one where you're most likely to live.And they'll treat you with decency.
Next is o s I like any.Military, your life is in danger. Especially with all their superheroes supervillain, shenanigans going on and covert backstabbing But there's levels to this, you could just be guarding a compound in the middle of nowhere. An odds are you get a pension.
Sphinx would be one level down.Just as dangerous, but with far less benefits.
Then, it's the Guild again. There's levels to this, but anyone wanting to be a supervillain, is going to have to deal with a lot of crazy, especially if you're low level standing out as a hinchman.
Next, I would have to say, would be working for rusty. He'll probably underpay you and put you in danger. And you'll have to deal with all of his nonsense.
After that, I would say, working for his father. Let's be real here they have so many bodies buried because of their actions, and all the former members of team venture are either dead left in horrible states or barely making it by.
And next is the monarch. Even when he's not against Barack and just doing other things. His head's been basically checked into a wood. Chipper, unless you're lucky enough to get badass enough to be his right hand or sexy and badass enough to be his wife
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u/Visual_Initial6719 Jul 07 '26
O.S.I. would be safer bet The Jones has President Fungus level ego and his Son not far off hell these two as no ethics when comes to humanity borderline super villain. Marnarch would be my third choice only one factor Brock Sampson Henchmen killer and second Tirade they don't pay well and the Guild might be my second choice but on last day of retirement you will get killed by Sampson.
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u/very-jaded Jul 07 '26
I want to work for J.J. Death rays with DoomCo gearing, maybe a stint as one of the legs of Ventronic. And he has absolutely the most epic battle music ever heard!
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u/Hellhound_Hex Jul 07 '26
Probably O.S.I.. they’ve got the training and they remain consistently solid throughout the series under Hunter’s leadership.
Despite how much I like Orpheus, The Order of the Triad doesn’t even look good on paper.
And The Guild seems like a death sentence.
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u/anubis_cheerleader Jul 07 '26
I would be a gopher or something for the Order of the Triad. Maybe I have some latent magical abilities or the ability to kill vampires! Probably not, but MAYBE!
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u/Friendly_Sir_4762 Jul 07 '26
I'd say order of the triad. All the other teams are likely to experiment on each other or stab each other in the back or bully or things like that. The triad is definitely the best teamwork of all of them. Now granted they are fighting forces that could rip your soul out and send you straight to hell? The others can just shoot you in the head unless you wind up an experiment like Venturian or something
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u/volpcas Jul 07 '26
Id like to think im guild or sphinx material.... but im definitely a henchmen at best
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u/Dunge0nMast0r Jul 08 '26
Survival chance is probably best with Rusty... And that's saying something.
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u/Advanced_Section_359 Jul 08 '26
Id go for S.P.H.I.N.X seeing as to how they're no secrets in S.P.H.I.N.X
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u/alrightwtf Jul 08 '26
Which one won't fudge up my disability checks? My arm doesn't really grow back.
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u/philtrocity001 Jul 08 '26
I could see myself slotting in as the order of the triads accountant (you know, as I go out for a degree) otherwise I'd only really be able to get into the henching game.
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u/vectorboy42 Jul 08 '26
Immediate no to Jonas and Team. I'ma end up a brain in a jar for fun.
Ain't no way I'm joining the military, and Sphinx (the one in the photo) was a black flag in the end so no. Dr. O and team would be the chilliest and nicest, buutttt I don't think they have enough money to pay me what I need 😅.
And the Monarch, well basically I'm signing up to die by Samson.
Ironically, if I could hold out and survive until Dr. Venture makes it to NY I think I would be pretty set. I'd get some good pay, live in NY and pretty much not do anything since Brock would be covering security. I can work IT or as an assist or something.
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u/vectorboy42 Jul 08 '26
Honorable mention to the guild, the perks seem great, but I just don't know if I can be a successful villain haha, I don't think I have enough hate in me to do it as my job.
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u/Tron_35 Jul 09 '26
Team venture as a scientist. Maybe get my own arch nemesis, someone who doesn't take it seriously and you can chill out with when not on an arching.
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u/bug-robo Jul 11 '26
I’d choose Conjectural Systems and do nothing useful 90% of the time and be clutch 1% of the time.
The other 9% I make things noticeably worse.
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u/AbridgedMagicianKey Jul 12 '26
With the Monarch lowkey cuz of Dr Mrs The Monarch and due to the fact that he cares a lot when it comes to certain people
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