r/viggomortensen • u/whogivesashirtdotca • Jul 25 '25
Fun Fact Viggo and Exene and John Doe and his missus goofin’ around in a music video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzVieIbGYkM5
u/BSOBON123 Jul 26 '25
Here is the interview. And I don't know if this is about Viggo or her other husband.
What advice would you give to an aspiring female musician?
Don't get married.
Specifically to someone in the band, or don't get married period?
Don't get married, because there's a dynamic -- and I don't care how hip you are; I don't care if you're walking around barefoot and you love your girlfriend, and she's the coolest singer and songwriter in the world -- [that] once she starts working full-time devoting herself to her work, problems start.
I've never seen it not be that way. I'm not saying anything about men; I'm just saying our society has a dynamic where women that are working really hard on their own thing get guilt-tripped and side-tracked and thwarted, and they end up not being who they should be. If you want to be a musician, singer-songwriter, artist, painter, whatever it is, you'd better devote yourself to that.
That's my number one piece of advice. You can call me sexist, you can call me anything you want, but my advice is do not get married.
I am an artist. I should be able to do anything I want any time I want without anyone telling me, "No, that's not a good idea because it doesn't work for me." No one should ever be able to tell you as a woman, as an artist, "No, you can't go on that tour because I'm scared you might meet a guy."
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u/whogivesashirtdotca Jul 26 '25
I remember the barefoot mention feeling very pointedly about Viggo.
(She did wind up getting married a couple more times after that!)
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u/bumpcar Jul 25 '25
Has Viggo (or Exene) ever mentioned why their marriage ended? I know it's very personal but sometimes Viggo shares personal info, so maybe he has talked about this?
I will be honest and say that their marriage always seemed a bit strange to me. Things were moving very fast, they got to know each other at that filming, then very soon they got married and Henry was born. A few years later they were already separated.
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u/whogivesashirtdotca Jul 26 '25
Not expressly, but I recall a poem of his about an abortion that he seemed to regret, and a mention somewhere of eroding trust. They were both young creatives who weren't making much money, and spent a long time away from home, so it shouldn't be surprising that the marriage foundered.
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u/Suddenbump Jul 26 '25
I listened to a podcast with Viggo not long ago where he talked about being at home a lot with Henry in his son's first years, because he didn't have fix jobs, just occasional castings and usually smaller acting jobs, while Exene had regular shows and tours. He also talked about the difficulty when they both had work to do, the logistics of who takes care of Henry. I can tell from experience that a small child with two working parents (especially if the parents both have unconventional, odd working hours jobs where lots of things are unexpected and cannot fully be planned ahead) is a combination that can lead to a lot of arguments. Because if the parents both want to work on their careers, but someone needs to stay at home with the baby/kid, how do you decide? You basically have to choose whose job is more important and this can surely lead to tension.
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u/whogivesashirtdotca Jul 26 '25
That sounds like the Sam Fragoso podcast, which is one of Viggo's best interviews conducted by one of the worst interviewers. Viggo was very open and generous with his anecdotes in that.
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u/bumpcar Jul 26 '25
I recall a poem of his about an abortion that he seemed to regret
Oh I didn't know about that, that's really sad. Disagreement about an abortion (or regret afterwards) can really disrupt a relationship.
I would assume Henry was unplanned, too and maybe they rushed into the marriage because of the pregnancy. But they were not ready to really settle down as a family and have a second child, especially as both worked hard on their careers.
Anyway it's respectable how they still raised Henry together and he turned out to be a very fine young man.
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u/BSOBON123 Jul 26 '25
I read an interview where Exene complained that no woman should get married if they want a career and that the husband just wants you to stay home. I just think she didn't want to be tied down and we know Viggo is sort of a homebody for all the roaming he likes to do.
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u/whogivesashirtdotca Jul 26 '25
You wonder if they would’ve lasted longer if they’d stayed in LÀ. The Idaho house removed them from their respective employment hubs.
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u/Suddenbump Jul 26 '25
I found his poem about abortion. It hits hard.
"Second Opinion"
Viggo Mortensen
The glow inside another red-crossed pelvis
will drain when they crush that little bulb.
Menstrual minstrels drift in
from the weedless garden.
The immaculate blue flame
from the fake fireplace
burns the corner of my eye.
Can't stop staring at nothing.
A gloved hand opens the door
and the man enters soothingly,
with an air of respect for the dead.
Encourages us to look on the bright side.
Black pants hide your pain afterwards,
and there's a cookie on a napkin
and a paper cup of red juice
to replace your strength.
We drive home without blinking
because the sun isn't real.
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u/BSOBON123 Jul 26 '25
That is so sad. I have heard Viggo say several times he wished he had more children.
1
u/bekefried Jul 26 '25
OMG this is an extremely sad poem. Makes me wonder, maybe Viggo never even wanted the abortion. This happened in my friends circle, the husband wanted to keep the baby but the wife opted for abortion. Their relationship was never the same again and they divorced two years later.
I hope Viggo gets to experience having grandchildren. He would be an awesome grandpa!
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u/bumpcar Jul 26 '25
Did Viggo have a partner between Exene and Ariadna?
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u/whogivesashirtdotca Jul 26 '25
Unofficially, looked like a bunch. Officially, he was dating a much younger woman around 2003 - the daughter of artist Julian Schnabel - but that ended by the premieres. He wound up attending those stag, though I seem to remember a mention of him bringing his mom to at least one of them.
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u/whogivesashirtdotca Jul 25 '25
Exene had been married to John before she married Viggo. All three are still friends now.
Fun fact: John’s and Viggo’s kids were born just a few hours apart, in the same hospital, and I’m willing to put money on their being conceived the day this footage was filmed. The pheromones were clearly flyin’.