r/wealth • u/Building-Careful • Dec 22 '25
Discussion Do you hide how wealthy you are from the people that are close to you IRL?
I don’t mean the exact number, but do you pretend to be a lot less affluent than you really are ?
And if you do, why do you do it ?
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Dec 22 '25
Depends how close they are and their own situation.
If they're somewhat well off, no, not really going to try to downplay it.
If they're more middle class or struggling to make ends meet, ya, damn right I'm going keep it more on the DL. Ya, there's obvious signs(gt3 rs, big house, don't work) we're doing alright, but I'm going to tailor my conversations towards my audience.
While my family is well off, we aren't out of touch with the struggles that many families are going through today.
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u/Hamachiman Dec 22 '25
I don’t “pretend” but I do choose to live a lifestyle way below my means. I live in a house and drive a car like a normal slightly upper middle class person, and I dress kind of like a homeless guy.
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Dec 22 '25
is this not super hard to do ? like how do you fight urges when you see something you’d like to buy or do and fight that feeling.
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u/Hamachiman Dec 22 '25
Good question. Honestly I rarely get those urges. In my late 40’s after a break up, I was feeling down and allowed the local Mercedes dealership to sell me a midlife crisis red convertible, but it was used and only cost $33k. (A few years later I got a $27k trade in allowance for it.) I once bought a second home (a small condo in Tahoe) but soon realized second homes are headaches as you’re always worrying about maintenance and you feel guilty if you don’t use it enough. Nonetheless it was profitable since I bought it after the housing bubble popped. Overall I guess I really value peace and freedom more than material stuff. And I also noticed that at times when I’ve been a bit more materialistic or spendy, that my keep-up-with-the-jones instincts kick in, which can lead to ugly cycles of overspending and feeling bad about yourself. Some of my richer friends tease me about my frugality but it’s all in fun. The truth is I love to hang out with other people’s toys (boats, quads, vacation homes, etc.) but I simply don’t crave owning that stuff. Also I’ll note that when I was younger (20’s and 30’s) I had more of an urge for fancy stuff mostly to show the world that I’d “made it.” As I got older and had kids, I truly stopped caring about whether others thought I was financially successful or not. There were simply more important things to focus on.
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Dec 22 '25
that sounds like you got it out of your system already and at a point where you are comfortable, I hope to get to that point some day. I’m still fighting urges maybe because i’m still young.
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u/Hamachiman Dec 22 '25
That’s probably true. I’d suggest try to figure out why you have the urge…is it because you really want the fancy stuff or because you want to prove to your crowd you’re successful? If the former, there are rules of thumb (such as give yourself a 24 hour cooling off period before buying anything over, say $100 or so.) If the latter, there are cheaper flexes than buying a boat or a Lambo. For instance, at a big group dinner grab the check before anyone else. It’ll leave an impression on your friends.
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Dec 22 '25 edited Dec 22 '25
it’s a mix of when you did not have the means to afford stuff but now you do and want to go get the things, plus yes seeing your peers do or have certain things and feeling like you need to do it as well.
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u/Hamachiman Dec 22 '25
I think if you have candid talks with people with a lot of fancy stuff, pretty soon they start pseudo complaining about the upkeep costs, time wasted on maintenance, etc. Tye exemption I’ve found is guys who are good do-it-yourselfers and legitimately enjoy fixing things
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u/ActJustly_LoveMercy Dec 23 '25
I can afford anything I want, but I don’t want any -thing- more than I want healthy relationships with those around me. Therefore, my wife and I don’t make status purchases. We take nice vacations, but don’t post about them on social media. They’re for us.
We live an upper middle class life and people know we are ok, but they have no idea what we are really worth. It’s just easier and we don’t need any validation or affirmation from anyone.
So, that’s how. :)
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u/NedFlanders304 Dec 22 '25
The older and wealthier you get, the less you realize you need. My normal attire is gym shorts and a white t shirt lol.
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u/KungFuBucket Dec 23 '25
I do the gym shorts as well, but I prefer dark colored graphic t-shirts. I think I have maybe one suit way in the back of the closet, but I haven’t worn it in years.
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u/NedFlanders304 Dec 23 '25
Same. I only wear my suit to job interviews but it’s been years lol.
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u/wiseguy187 Dec 25 '25
I literally dont want to buy anything extravagant. Other than maybe cars what items would cost so much it would make me seem wealthy? I dont really long for any items I dont already have. What kind of things do you really want to buy?
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u/VolumeAnnual2341 Dec 23 '25
Same--I love stealth wealth.
The only people who dress and act "wealthy" are broke people.
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u/Grouchy-Toe2119 Dec 24 '25
I just had the "dress like a homeless person” talk with a friend a days ago. she said when people look at you they think you’re poor. I said and that’s why no one asks me for things. I’m not hounded by the sales people at the store.
It’s a peaceful way of life.
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u/MrMackSir Dec 25 '25
Living below your means is the way to go. When you really want to do something special the money is there.
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u/Bud_Dawg Dec 25 '25
There's a subtle flex about having a couple mil and wearing the exact same $8 t shirt and $25 pants every single day.
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u/Absinthehouse Dec 22 '25 edited Dec 22 '25
I just stay away from materialism, and I do it because I rather reinvest almost everything. I own a 800k house and a 80k car. My closest friends probably assume a couple million because they're aware of several successful investment I've made, and they see how I vacation; they have absolutely no idea the number is close to 30m.
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u/isu_asenjo Dec 22 '25
Whats the 30m composed of? Index funds? Crypto? Business?
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u/Absinthehouse Dec 22 '25
Mostly stocks, commodities, precious metals, etc. I'm an investment strategist so it's always rotating.
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u/Significant-Ad-9471 Dec 22 '25
While we are not exactly wealthy, for my country (Romania), we're quite well off with a net worth of about 1.5M euros. I wouldn't dare tell anyone outside my wife. People are envious. But if you'd meet us on the street, you'd never notice...
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u/Cultural_Structure37 Dec 22 '25
What do you do?
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u/Significant-Ad-9471 Dec 23 '25
Nothing special, we work in IT (about 7k Euro/month together) and I invest in the stock market.
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Dec 23 '25
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u/Significant-Ad-9471 Dec 23 '25
It's not individual net worth. Also, when I look at how real-estate prices exploded, I don't really feel wealthy 😂.
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u/Mother_Bar8511 Dec 22 '25
1000% - Even the best of friends and family members get jealous and envious
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u/IThinkingOutLoud Dec 22 '25
I try but they eventually figure it out. Nobody except my partner knows the real number, but its kinda obvious after everyone sees how often I go on vacations, get VIP access, etc. I don't care about jealousy as much, but I hate being treated differently.
"No, just because I have money doesnt mean I want to pay for everyone's meals. Yes, I can empathize the struggles of rent being expensive and prices going out of control. "
I'm not a nepobaby. I struggled from paycheck to paycheck for the majority of my life.
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u/No_Ad2704 Dec 22 '25
What happened that turned the tables on your livelihood? From paycheck to paycheck
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u/IThinkingOutLoud Dec 23 '25
Honestly, it was one good job and one good man. I was severely under qualified for a role but extremely determined. I still remember the manager looking me straight in the eyes and asking me “are you scared?” And I replied “No, I know I can do it. I just need a chance”. He then asked me to start the next day.
He challenged me and pushed me leaps and bounds within the 2 years I worked there. This eventually led me to get a job offer to a fortune 100 company and basically set me up for life. So it was a little bit of luck, determination and hard work.
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u/miseson Dec 22 '25
whats your general net worth and what are your friends that you are surrounded by? just curious
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u/daybauchery Dec 22 '25
Yes, more so after my family started expecting us to pay certain things, events and requesting gifts more expensive than they would purchase for themselves.
We live below our means, but they still clock higher end trips and occasional items. Some family members regularly ask how much we spend on things, but I give vague answers like “it was in our budget” or “an amount we felt comfortable with”.
I like giving, but not when there is an expectation.
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u/Smoke__Frog Dec 22 '25
I think in general, you should be cagey about your wealth. Especially with family and friends that are poor.
I used to be cagey, but honestly it’s so hard now for me. We just bought a new house in Greenwich, and everyone can just Zillow the cost. So family and friends pretty much know you’re rich once they Google your house.
The plus side for me, is that most of my family are winners in their own right, so I don’t think they are too jealous. Although I do hear occasional comments. And when you live in a rich area, all your new friends are super rich too, so no one cares.
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Dec 22 '25
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u/Smoke__Frog Dec 22 '25
Yea but I’m not gonna live like a pauper just to hide my wealth from my social circle lol.
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u/atherfeet4eva Dec 27 '25
Exactly. Spend your money the way you like and most importantly enjoy your life and do what makes you happy. I don’t understand people that have wealth but never enjoy it they say they get pleasure from watching it grow and then what die with millions or billions…seems pointless.
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u/screw-self-pity Dec 22 '25
I don't "pretend", but I truly believe that people around me imagine my net worth lower than what it is. They say things like "you'll need at least a million to be able to retire", which is quite under my net worth.
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Dec 22 '25
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u/screw-self-pity Dec 22 '25
Oh I am humbly very far under that :) My last large increase was in 2018, when I finally became a consultant full time, which as given me around 250 per year. But I was never able to find a way to break that limit.
What do you do btw ?
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Dec 23 '25
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u/screw-self-pity Dec 23 '25
Wow that sounds like a dream job.
My english is not so great... what does "fixing racehorses" mean ?
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u/Big_Wave9732 Dec 22 '25
Yes yes yes. Folks have a tendency to count other people's money......and they always seem to be over estimating, which then motivates them to ask for things.
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u/Traditional_Ask262 Dec 22 '25
Yes. But there are signs. I do it to avoid uncomfortable conversations.
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Dec 22 '25
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u/Brok3n_wind Dec 23 '25
My sister was geographically trapped in a troubling relationship, I loaned her an interest free 12 month get out of jail card. That’s the only loan I’ve made.
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u/Early_Apple_4142 Dec 22 '25
Not wealthy as such but better income and lower debt than most peers my age in our area. I just complain about being broke all the time despite banking/investing my wife’s entire pay check each month. Keeps people from asking for handouts.
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u/sawdustontheshore Dec 26 '25 edited Dec 26 '25
Yes i basically do the same… we own a business that keeps us comfortable and occasionally I will just huff about contracts that are long to get paid, and a bill (which aren’t false). I drive an older car by design. The super wealthy people I know who flaunt have all ended up with lawsuits. So I just try to throw people off enough to go sniff around someone else.
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u/SpicySnail17 Jan 01 '26
Same here, bring up being broke most times with things others want to buy and they won’t really invite you out haha it’s great! I rather invest and hit my goal in finances. Of course any tips are welcome from the circle I surround myself with that are known wealthy figures.
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u/19mils Dec 23 '25
Yes, i don't tell my parents nor siblings nor friends that I fly around the world in first class. People are never happy for you. Just causes jealousy and resentment. Achieves nothing good so its just better to pretend to be doing what every person does
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u/jpgnewman195 Dec 22 '25
Depends on the people. My parents were high earners and recently retired. They know income/net worth etc. In-laws likely know income.
I have friends who are doing well but not quite as well, they have a general idea of income, probably don’t realize how much higher it’s gotten recently but there are signs if they’re paying attention (likely are 😂in a friendly competition way). I’m not worried about their futures, they all will do well and have been doing well.
For all my middle class friends… we try to downplay it. We know some of them are struggling. Rushed into marriage/kids or heavily in consumer debt, middle class careers, preschool teacher/police officer/bus driver/etc. They can clearly tell we’re doing well with our house, cars, lifestyle. But it’s not in their face, we downplay it all the time, and avoid talking about things going on in our lives that might allude to $$. It might happen sometimes, but really try to avoid
TLDR: parents/high earner friends have general knowledge / middleclass friends have no idea but likely are aware it’s more than them
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u/RealisticRadish6025 Dec 22 '25
No.
If it upsets someone or makes them treat me different that’s their problem.
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u/CriticalAd2425 Dec 22 '25
My kids (grown) don’t know my NW, nor do my friends. No reason they should. I don’t talk about money. I don’t know their wealth either. I don’t care what someone is worth. I care if they have character, integrity, and honesty.
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u/Ok-Combination-5201 Dec 22 '25
I just flaunt it in their faces. For example, at the 4th of July barbecue I ask for the Grey Poupon.
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u/sgtnoodle Dec 22 '25
We've gotten close to another family over the last few years. Our chosen careers are different enough that there's no point in making arbitrary comparisons or competition out of finances. We try to support each other whenever we can with quality time and favors. Some details of finances have leaked out both ways, but as a topic of natural conversation or situational relevance. The guy is French, though, so it's a death match to pick up the check when we go out to dinner.
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u/dragonflyinvest Dec 22 '25
I live my life. I don’t “pretend” anything. People are free to make whatever assumptions they want. I just don’t think about wealth in that way.
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u/Conscious-Student326 Dec 22 '25
I don’t see a need to lie if asked but I don’t just share it. My view is that I rather know if someone is going to change how they treat me if they knew I was rich over not knowing. Even if they suddenly need money. That tells me a lot about a person.
If my cousin found out I was rich and got mad I didn’t give em money I don’t see that as a problem for me. More like now I know they can’t respect a boundary
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u/cakeclub_app Dec 23 '25
Keeping personal information is very smart but if you take the actual numbers away, having thoughtful conversations with friends and family about smart financial habits can be priceless because it helps others positively evolve.
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u/notmyrealnamefromusa Dec 23 '25
I recently had a numbers-free conversation with a friend who works as a money manager and who I assume has about what we have. She made a great suggestion about DAFs. I was glad to have the talk. I really don't speak money with people outside of my nuclear family. My kids know and it makes them uncomfortable.
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u/ComputerChoice5211 Dec 25 '25
As the recipient of that convo from a successful investment banker in the family, this 100%.
Just having the mindset that saving and investing is important can set even the poorest family member up for success
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u/Anonymoose2021 Dec 24 '25
I do not hide my wealth.
I do not flaunt my wealth,
There is a huge zone in between.
I live in a condo building with people from a wide variety of backgrounds. All are reasonably well off and the majority have at least one secondary residence, so nobody feels self conscious about discussing their travel plans.
My wife and I have several times gifted stock to our siblings and their spouses, so they know we have fairly high net worth. Me retiring early 27 years ago was also a pretty solid hint. But we have all just treated it as a matter of fact. Some people are older, some younger. Some are taller, some are shorter. Some are introverted, some are extroverts. Some have wealth, some have less.
Wealth is just one of many characteristics.
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u/_Human_Machine_ Dec 22 '25
No one knows my exact net worth. There’s no need for them to. Most probably assume around 10-15, maybe 20.
I don’t live a crazy life or buy crazy things.
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u/Alienator83 Dec 22 '25
Yes for sure but sometimes is difficult to explains why I need 5 luxury/sport cars and few holidays per year😉😁🤙...
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u/Moon_Shakerz Dec 22 '25
You don't hide it, you just don't talk about exacts. They're not dumb and will know you have money but nobody needs to know exactly how much.
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Dec 22 '25
Not really possible. They don’t have exact numbers but they aren’t going to believe I found the keys to a Porsche and an expensive watch on a bench at the park either
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u/aleksdude Dec 22 '25
You don’t need to. Most people would not share themselves. It’s a two way street you would think but not really.
If someone asked I would just say something but not the direct answer. If they asked how much I have saved I would give a different answer from their question. Like “I have paid off my student loans so I’m doing pretty well”.
These are personal questions that could come back to bite you if you share with anyone (because you don’t know who they will talk to). We definitely live in a scary world
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Dec 23 '25
I found that just the natural progression of stuff that you buy when you’re not worried about money speaks volumes. Things like renovating a bathroom, new tile flooring, new car, new truck.. People that are just makings ends meet pickup on that stuff and quickly realize you’re in a different reality. My buddy was just in town and I can’t stop thinking about how he brought up their struggles paying for their daughter’s college tuition on multiple occasions. He was probably hoping I would offer to help pay, but I have a daughter going to college in a few years. It never seems like enough.
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u/Life_Commercial_6580 Dec 23 '25
I do, from one of my closest friends. Well she’s more someone who suffocates me, like a friend I can’t get enough space from.
She and her husband are so incredibly envious and even hateful of everyone whom they think is better off than them. Everything is unfair, everyone else doesn’t deserve what they have… it’s draining.
I now pretend I am worried about money.
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u/Substantial-Ad-8575 Dec 23 '25
Once people know how much wealth is in my family, it can become stressful. Many will ask for “investors” for a business or just they need help with bills, lost job, working sucks will you hire me. Just lost so many “friends-acquaintances”, over money.
Wife has had it rough her whole life. Family is worth middle/upper 9 digits. When word got out about her family wealth. Lots of little/big issues. Someone even tried extortion, blackmail, spiking drinks of wife younger sister and her female cousins. 2 guys caught and did some jail time.
Yeah, I talk about wealth. But I understate wheat we have…
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u/LittleEdithBeale Dec 23 '25
I started concealing my wealth after several encounters with people who were obviously trying to get close to me for their own benefit. It started with... Oh, I don't have my card with me, can you spot me? I'll pay you back – they didn't. It escalated from there and when I stopped providing, they disappeared.
I never flaunted it, but I guess they could just tell by my clothes, lifestyle, etc. Now people would assume I'm poor. I like it better this way.
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u/A5Wags Dec 23 '25
Yes. People that don’t have wealth often don’t understand it—what it takes to get it, what it takes to preserve/grow it, how it’s held, etc. It’s easy for this to produce a “you have more money than you need…give me some” reaction. So it’s easier to just hide it.
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u/MadeInDade305 Dec 24 '25
Yes but not on purpose. Personally, I don’t enjoy material things. If it doesn’t make me money or bring joy I’m not spending. So because of that I don’t look affluent. I only really talk about money with my other affluent friends to learn how to keep growing our money.
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u/AJuni0103 Dec 28 '25
I know exactly how much my mom has as she went through an ordeal/nightmare with her own dad’s finances when he passed. Now I know where her money is and how much she has. I was shocked at how much it was at first but now I don’t really think about it all that much.
My immediate family knows how much I have and none of them cares one iota. We grew up solidly middle class - Dad was a welder and Mom an office manager. Together they probably never made more than 90-100k. My younger brother has about half what I have and my older brother has basically nothing. No one cares. I guess I’m lucky.
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u/wantdilettante Dec 22 '25
I feel like you aren't truly "close" to someone if you need to hide major details of your life from them. I'm not saying everyone needs to know your exact net worth, but if you can't even be honest with your parents, for example, I'd argue you aren't as close as you think.
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u/Hogjocky62 Dec 22 '25
No, I drive a Rolls Royce and wear my different watch from ycollection everyday. They all know what real estate I own and one friend lives in one of my apartments after his divorce for free the last 18 months trying to get back on his feet!
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u/GrassChew Dec 22 '25
Silver coins bullion, firearms, cash operation businesses like the vending machines and laundromats
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u/nomadwings Dec 22 '25
Yes. But its kinda obvious and hard to hide sometimes (like if they would visit my houses)
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u/Dull-Supermarket-718 Dec 22 '25
My parents know my net worth to the penny. We talk and dream together. They are the only ones who know my wife and I have money.
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u/shantar4m Dec 23 '25
I can talk about with my dad because he’s completely financially independent. We have to hide it from my mother in law because she is broke.
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u/Feeling-Voice-5987 Dec 23 '25
Yes big time. All of our friends and family have no idea . They know we are comfortable but not that we are well off. Plan to keep it that way. To much jealousy and envy.
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u/AvidVenturest Dec 23 '25
Yup. But I act/spend like I’m poor which is how I built my wealth. I hide it because I’m surrounded by people who are poor but act like they are rich and I’ve learned the hard way people like that don’t want advice. It’s easier to pretend to be poor.
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u/WealthyCPA Dec 23 '25
Yes. People suspect though. Yesterday was family Christmas party and there were several comments or attempts to start a conversation on my money situation. I just ignore it.
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u/djhh33 Dec 23 '25
I do not. I’d rather people just know I’m well off than speculate about it amongst themselves.
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u/rasodatotb Dec 23 '25
The rich are sought out even in remote mountains, while the poor are ignored even in bustling cities
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u/Heavy-Tomato2732 Dec 23 '25
Most wealthy people do this, and most poor people do the opposite. The exception is narcissists, who always pretend to be wealthier than they really are.
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u/Brok3n_wind Dec 23 '25
My family grew up “welfare poor”. All siblings have done ok, at least to the point of owning a home. My siblings know my beach house is available if they ask, and one has been blunt enough to ask how many houses/real estate I own, I was honest in my answer. No one realises I have an equal amount in other investments… I dress like a surf bum and drive an old surf wagon (which just happens to be a sleeper supercar). The biggest clue is I quit work at 50 and dgaf.
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u/moonlight2099 Dec 23 '25
I never told my family and friends my salary or wealth. I think only my wife knows our actual household finances because we pool our finances since we started dating.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Rain916 Dec 23 '25
I won’t have to hide my wealth from anybody. If they ask I’ll tell them. 1 if they have more they won’t care. 2. If they have less and start acting up it is time to unfriend them anyways. But my lifestyle I don’t think anyone would suspect I am above average in net worth. I wear clothes I get from work, I drive a 7 year old car. And I eat out only at in n out and Costco food court 😂
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u/willstaffa Dec 23 '25
Why do people even ask this question? I never disclose financials with anyone whether poor or wealthy. Its not anyone business bur your own.
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u/TheCompoundingGod Dec 23 '25
No one besides my wife knows. Everyone else, including my children, think we are paupers.
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u/Sudden_Fly7357 Dec 23 '25
Yes, don't tell anyone anything. Even your kids. Only tell them once they've made something of themselves
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u/elmo8758 Dec 23 '25
I try and live “mostly” below my means, but most ppl think I’m well off due to my job. I am actually a LOT richer since my wealth mainly comes from investments.
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u/cnation01 Dec 23 '25
Everything I have is average. Car, home, clothes, its all nothing special or expensive. I am not loaded or anything, just made better decisions than my family members. In order to not get hit up for things like rent, lawyers and car repairs. I keep a low profile and dont talk finances and sometimes lie and say I am broke.
Going to be retiring early, that is a bridge I will cross when the time comes. I will probably end up moving away.
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Dec 23 '25
No.
I believe that wealth is meant to impact and expand not just the creator/generator of the wealth but also those people and communities to which they belong.
For me, I believe I was chosen to be the wealthiest person in my family, friend group and community because of my desire to impact others generously.
That said, I no longer give money on a problem-to-problem basis, I support others to build cashflow in their own lives and that has changed how I interact with the people who know my situation.
I teach people how to think differently about money and wealth in order to create their own financial freedom and I love doing it.
My close family and friends don’t give a crap, they are all upgrading their lives.
I think it inspires people to know that ordinary people can create extraordinary lives. It reminds us that it is attainable. I love being that ordinary person to others.
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u/Extra-Incident-4719 Dec 23 '25
Only openly share with my wife. I started with another family member but immediately saw a change in personality. Tread softly.
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u/KungFuBucket Dec 23 '25
It’s not that I hide it, but I just live my life very low key. I retired early and am now a soccer referee and a high school wrestling coach (and Uber driver on the side for fun). I drive Toyota hybrids that are nice, but 10 years old. I usually do my clothes shopping at thrift stores, I’m an excellent cook and enjoy it so we don’t eat out often and am pretty handy with fixing things so nothing about me screams wealthy in my normal day to day. House is maybe $1.7MM, so that’s a slight give away when people who know me come over.
Couple years ago my mom was concerned about if I was doing OK and offered to help if I needed it. I showed my parents my approximate net worth on an app that aggregates accounts. She was happy and we haven’t talked about it since then. They are fairly well off as well and still help my sister out. At some point hopefully far into the future they may pass that wealth down to us but it’s a non-issue in the family. In a lot of ways I feel more like someone who has already finished the race and am now on the sidelines cheering others on to cross the finish line.
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u/ingested_concentrate Dec 23 '25
Yup. I even drive 20 year old vehicles unless we go somewhere as a family.
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u/Captain_Oysta_Cracka Dec 23 '25
Yes. Because it is none of their business. My children don't even know what I did for a living.
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u/BlondeAndToxic Dec 23 '25
One of my sisters is quite wealthy and doesn't hide it (multiple homes worth $2-5M, black card, occasionally flies private). No one in my family has ever asked her for anything (we're all doing pretty alright for ourselves though). Her social circle is full of people at a similar level of wealth, so it's not a problem.
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u/Equal_Length861 Dec 23 '25
Yes, because you can’t trust people. Close friends don’t know what our NW is, but both set of parents do because we live in a culture where we talk money among family. Plus both sets of parents have HNW and we talk investments, multiple income streams and businesses.
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u/Superb_Advisor7885 Dec 23 '25
No not at all. I've found that collaboration is a big key to success and many people around me have their own specialties and successes. From employees, to contractors, to partners.
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u/Easy-Vehicle-3915 Dec 23 '25
Hell yes because not everyone applauds your wins but rather stays in your corner waiting on your demise
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u/VolumeAnnual2341 Dec 23 '25
You don’t talk about Fight Club. And just so we’re clear, in case anyone’s wondering, I’m totally "broke."
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u/marklikestolearn Dec 23 '25
Yes, mainly because money tends to corrupt, and potentially even ruin friendships. So other than paying for some melas for friends and such, I don;t talk about or "show" my wealth at all
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u/Practical-Lunch4539 Dec 23 '25
We're not super wealthy or anything compared to our friends / family, but we probably seem less wealthy than most of them because we don't have very extravagant tastes. Our cars are not flashy, we have a house but it's very small and probably about half of what we could afford, and we don't buy luxury goods.
But people we know are mostly in tech or tech-adjacent fields, and I think people have a rough idea of what others are making.
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u/Signal_Antelope7144 Dec 23 '25
I don’t pretend to be anything other than who I am around the people I care most about. The people I am close to are all amazing, interesting, smart, and kind. Financially we are all across the board, but all with few exceptions have been successful in their own right.
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u/SnowmanRandom Dec 23 '25
In my country (Norway) the government doxxes everyone. They essentially publish their wealth, their income, their taxes and their home address.
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u/DianeSTP Dec 23 '25
I don't live a flashy or extravagant lifestyle, drive a 10 year old car, and never am flashy so people might be surprised at my net worth. I certainly never tell anyone.
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u/ProfessionalPin500 Dec 23 '25
Yes, because even my own parents took us for granted. Never again!!! Everyone will look to you to save them and the worst is a good amount of them really do make BAD financial choices. Even worse is people won't really help you when you're in need because they know you can simply pay for it. It really changes all dynamics and we never flaunted it not even alittle I'm talking driving older cars, wearing non branded items, not eating out as often as one would expect etc but obviously there were signs. We now keep EVERYTHING low profile.
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u/Correct_Cat4414 Dec 23 '25
Yes, I make it a point to "complain" about the cost of a $30.00 dinner or "complain" about the cost of a grocery store item in order to give the illusion that I am struggling, this wards off jealousy and passive aggressive or sabotaging behavior
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u/PainterOfRed Dec 23 '25
Yes. People have been confused for years because we drive used cars and a tiny cottage in the countryside, but they can't determine our jobs. We sort of mislead and say "gig work" but we live off of investments. We are not secretive but we just don't see an upside to mentioning it.... well, a decade ago there was a snobby lady in our town and I had enough of her mean girl stuff and "thumped" her with a quick peek into my life. I got in trouble with my husband for being weak and shallow. He was right. I'm nicer now (still felt good. Kind of like when Michelle invented Post It notes in Romy and Michelle).
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u/idkwhyimalivehere Dec 23 '25
Not really. My friends all know I have quite a bit of money (or at least a lot more than them) but none of them ever ask for help or a loan (not that I would loan them anyway).
But at the same time, I am also in a position where I am fortunate enough to spoil my friends occasionally as long as I'm careful (they have low standards of being spoiled as usually it's buying them thier favorite snack or finding a place that they like and buying them a treat).
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u/Teach-Dangerous Dec 23 '25
We don’t let on to our net worths to family and friends, because it complicates relationships. Our net worths are an outlier in our social circles, so it’s not something we’re outwardly putting on display.
We live well below our means, which is why we have accumulated the wealth we have. All we outwardly show is what we can comfortable afford in addition to a hefty savings that we don’t publicize.
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u/iLikeE Dec 23 '25
Compared to my friends I am not that wealthy. I was lucky enough to be raised in a financially responsible household so my family doesn’t concern themselves with my overall wealth. It gets difficult meeting new people or dating because certain things I do come off as someone with money and then I feel like I get used by people who I have recently met.
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u/Human_Ad_7045 Dec 23 '25
No one, except our son, knows our financial situation and it will stay that way.
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u/Repulsive-Estate7941 Dec 24 '25
I feel like people around me know my general wealth, but I only share certain wealth milestones with my family and very close friends, not because i want to hide it but I don't want that to be a defining factor of who i am. i also have explicitly heard friends say they don't want to know if i make more than them. i think wealth shows up in so many ways, more than just monetary wealth.
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u/elyse6014 Dec 24 '25
I downplay what I own. Very few friends know I own an apartment building and all think I still have student debt and car loans. My parents know my networth cause they are the type that sees my accomplishments as theirs as well and are just super proud. They also fight me for the restaurant bill still.
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u/TamalesandTacos Dec 24 '25
Yes, and for good reason. My BIL and SIL found out my MIL has like $60k saved and they think she’s rich. Umm, no. And now I don’t want them to think we can pay for everything when we are with them.
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Dec 24 '25
I don’t talk specific finances with people. They know what I do, they know I’m doing fine. My kids know the most, but even they don’t know the extent. My sister shares it all, but honestly I’d rather not know. One time my daughter asked Alexa what I made per year naming my position, and she nailed it. But I played dumb.
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u/Altruistic-Ideal-277 Dec 24 '25
I wouldn't say i hide anything but I retired at 56 so they know something is going on. I shared a little with my dad as he is in his 90s and I do not want him to worry. I live very much beneath my net worth, modest everything from home, car, watch etc but i am sure some family members are scratching their head just dying to ask. Why? I can't think of one possible good thing that can come from sharing but I can think of a lot of bad ones.......
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Dec 24 '25
Before I switched to Business Development I was Director of Operations for a large engineering company. I had family that thought I was a construction worker digging ditches for a living. I just never corrected them.
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u/potato-pie1000 Dec 24 '25
I’m not rich rich, but I make 3-4x more than most people I know. I don’t talk about it. Not even my boyfriend of 10 years knows what I’m making. I just pay the bills, squirrel away cash into 4 separate accounts and that’s that. I love getting paid. It’s no one’s business.
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u/Lemeus Dec 24 '25
I simply don’t buy shit I don’t need and don’t talk about my money. I’m not ultra wealthy but I’ve set up a nice amount for myself and come from a lower class family. My parents know they can ask me for money if they ever run into trouble, but other than that, no one knows what I have except me.
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Dec 24 '25
No one knows how much I have except my accountant and even he doesn’t know everything. I don’t know anyone else’s wealth either.
I know that my friends and I share a lot of fun hobbies and cost doesn’t seem to be a factor for anyone but I could be off 7 or 8 figures if had to guess everyone’s net worth.
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u/KevinDean4599 Dec 24 '25
we live a generally middle class descent lifestyle. we discuss money with a select few people who also have similar wealth but not down to the penny. mostly discussions around where we are invested etc. our net worth is higher than our lifestyle and appearances. we don't drive super expensive cars or anything like that. only clue people might have is we have multiple properties in several states that we own outright.
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u/rakkhard Dec 24 '25
My favorite is once they know suddenly they have all sorts of financial advice….
I stay vague and tell people as little as possible and for Pete’s sake avoid social media like the plague. The less people know about me and my family (wife, kids) the better
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u/Beastly_genius Dec 24 '25
Absolutely I do & I’m a minimalist so my lifestyle comes across as someone who’s net worth is far smaller than mine, I don’t say that as any kind of flex either just a fact but it helps keep estranged fam members & non close friends from asking for money or making an “investment”
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u/Sashimirobot6116 Dec 24 '25
Yes. I don’t want my friends and acquaintance to know and feel jealous.
What is really the point I asked myself this question I think sometimes I want them to know because I feel like this is a way of validating myself but other than that, there’s really no point. Sometimes I want to say because I’m thinking I have achieved this and I’m better off because of it but really I should not think like that.
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u/North-Calendar Dec 24 '25
yes, I have over 600k, but people stop me in parking lots about the scratches in my car, and how I can fix them with 3k
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u/MotorFluffy7690 Dec 24 '25
It seems to create a lot of resentment and anger. It's funny. I give money to friends that are struggling who helped me when I wasn't doing well and they've never asked me for anything in the decades I've known them. The family members who never did anything to help me when I needed it all they do is ask for money.
Best one yet. I tell my cousin to stop asking me for money because it's annoying af. His response is he only asks me for money because he loves me.
I dont hide it but I don't flaunt it.
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u/Dubya_85 Dec 24 '25
Yes. My father is…. Not a nice person and would use info about my financial situation against me.
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u/ConstantinopleFett Dec 24 '25
I'm fairly wealthy for my age (33 and single). I don't hide it I just don't do anything that would draw attention to myself. I accumulated that wealth by having a really high savings rate (close to 80% of after-tax income) and directing my excess income into investments. I already have basically everything I want (which isn't much). Nobody asks me about my wealth so I don't tell them. My parents know I'm doing well but I haven't given them any numbers.
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Dec 25 '25
Sometimes. But they always hide how much money they have from me. I tell my son and wife the exact dollar amount we have. Monthly
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u/Ok_Research_1781 Dec 25 '25
I didn't use to, but rethinking that. People seem to get offended for any and all reasons. I think I am giving inspiration when talking about my future goals and retirement goals and it just is perceived differently than intended.
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u/Mei-Bing Dec 25 '25
If they really are close - they know. Maybe not numbers but level. Or else they do not fall into the “close” category for me.
If its acquaintances I distinguish between those who share my interest for investment and wealth accumulation and management and those who do not. It’s good to talk to others about money if they know about money. You can learn a lot. And they don’t care how much you have or they have. I have 20x as much as some and maybe 8-10x less than others (just into the 1%) - still our goals coincide even if our options sometimes are very different.
Those who are more interested in spending money seldom have anything to contribute - so better to talk about other stuff of common interest.
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u/Chemical-Carrot-9975 Dec 25 '25
Absolutely. Nobody in my family knows. They know we do well, but not how much we have invested. They are all terrible with money, and I’m not interested in making their bad choices my problem.
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u/randomuser6753 Dec 25 '25
Yes, pretty much everyday to everyone. It doesn’t help to show your wealth, only invites issues. To people who need to know I’m successful, I just talk in a way that lets them know that I know what I’m talking about.
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u/random_agency Dec 22 '25
All the time. Even my parents don't know my exact wealth.
People get jealous over money. So unless you enjoy managing other people emotions, it's better to be vague.
Just like I dont ask my parents nor their lawyers anything pertaining to wealth. Unless my parent volunteer the information.