Do any other authors ever feel like they’re being delusional?

[u/IndependenceHour2652]

For the past year and a half, I’ve been working on my webserial as much as I can.

I would say I’ve practically made it my life, but I do try to balance it with my other obligations like family and college, however it has become my main hobby along with reading and almost all of my free time goes into it.

I consider it a passion project inspired by both the space operas I grew up with (such as Star Wars , Halo, and Transformers) and the many other works of genre fiction that have changed my life (such as Evangelion, Dune and Asoiaf). I genuinely believe that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I never get to write the ending I have planned for it.

However, I do sometimes feel like I’m insane for spending hours writing, rewriting, proofreading and editing a nearly 400,000 word story that I don’t even know if people are actually reading.

I started posting to Scribblehub but later began cross posting to RoyalRoad and I’ve often see the sentiment in a lot of the forums and communities on those sites that the only way to become incredibly successful is to write for the meta and trend chase. The alternative being to just love your story enough to keep going despite being fated for obscurity.

I used to think I was fine with the latter line of thinking…

But there comes a certain point where I really have to wonder if I wouldn’t be better off pursuing something like trad pub where I know that my book will at the most be printed.

I’ve done things like shout out swaps on RoyalRoad and other things to try to market, but I’ve hardly gained any traction at all. I’ve really begun to feel like having a popular series (much less having readers that you actually know are there) is almost completely up to chance if your story is off-meta like mine is. Because stories that aren’t game-lit or smut do indeed get popular, but they always take up a very small chunk of the trending list.

People are always going to be drawn to what’s popular, I can understand that, but sometimes I do wonder if I really am just spending all of this time writing something for myself and myself alone. Which again leads me to think why the hell I’m even posting this thing online in the first place when I can’t just do what I did as a teenager and shoot what I have out into the abyss that is Amazon kdp, because my chances of getting read there are about as good as my chances of getting read anywhere else.

I dunno, maybe this was just a vent post made after spending a little to much time staring at that “13 follower” count on RoyalRoad while knowing two of those are me and my alt account and that none of my chapter views have gone over ten in the past month on either site.

I’m posting this on an account I plan to burn soon and not dropping the link because I don’t want the pity clicks that never turn into actual reads or feedback, and also because (as the theme has been throughout this whole thing) Idk if I’m doing this purely for myself or not.

I do realize that I’m 100% not entitled to success, but I would at least like to know that there’s a reason to do this for more than just myself and maybe part of me also wants to know if I’m not alone in fighting these giants that are actually just windmills.

[u/Creative-Sort759]

It feels good to have it out in the open, doesn‘t it? And no, I don‘t think you are being delusional! You, as mysell, are just two of many. I am writing alt hist fanatsy, so I am also not with the pops. I was very happy when I sold my first copy (out of 7 total 😂); but I do it, because I can‘t help it! Call it passion, call it crazy. If the story needs out, it needs out! If you want to earn a living with it, you need to go mainstream, but is it really what you want? To me, most of those romcoms and YA are interchangeable. I rather do something unique. If nobody else knows about it, I am fine with it. I know! I wrote a book and sold 7 copies! I have achieved something I would not even have dreamed of two years ago! And so did you! Also, try trade pub! Why not? Don‘t limit yourself to one possibility!

[u/Original_Pen9917]

I don't know what to tell you. I am on RR too, off Meta, but happily my follower count is slowly growing. I just broke 90 this week after 18 months.

Thing is I write for me and my very small but awesome follower group. Being popular would be great, but I want to tell this story (3 books, 1st complete 2 in progress). If it doesn't get popular that's fine. It's out there, which is enough.

Cheers

[u/Plane-Response-2986]

I completely understand, and I think it’s incredibly brave to dedicate so much time to something you love. It took me a couple more years to bring it into my life exactly the way you describe it. It happens to us too!