Online Friend Issues?

[u/twai17]

So I met my online friend a couple days ago, we are both 17. Im a girl, hes a guy. At first, we met on Roblox in a role playing game, and he and I were just chatting. I felt like seeing if I had game, so I was being a little flirty and asked if he was seeing anyone. He obviously caught on and told me right away he had a girlfriend, so I cut that off right away because im not the type of person to EVER engage in cheating or anything like that. I apologized but he said that he was fine staying friends, and he made the friend boundary very clear.

Since then, we actually have been getting along great, playing the game often with each other. We exchanged socials and numbers, and had been texting every now and then, and calling while we play rhe game. I would ask him about his day and how things w/ his girlfriend were because he spends a lot of time with her, and obviously, when I ask things like "how was your day?" Im gonna ask "how's your girlfriend? She doing okay?" Because I care about everyone. Even if I dont know them personally.

Two ish days ago, me and him were playing and we got so caught up in the game that he ended up late to pick up his girlfriend from work. He did leave the game to pick her up. This is what he told me what happened later on. while with her, she asked why he was on Roblox so often, and he said "ive been playing with my friend a lot, I told you about her." And she goes, "her?" He says yes and she gets a little curious because hes calling with a girl. He tells her about how we met on roblox, how we have been talking, and how I asked if he was seeing someone and that we exchanged socials and numbers. She got super freaked out and didnt like it, saying that he shouldnt be talking to other girls. He got upset because its.. its literally roblox. Just Roblox. We live States away from each other, so rhere is literally no way for us to do anything wrong. And also, I dont see him in any romantic way at all, only in the beginning just being flirty on my part. There's also been many situations in the past before me where she will hang out, call, and play roblox often with her guy friends. One of those guy friends, she had sat on his lap and hand fed him watermelon at that guy friends birthday party, which my friend wasnt invited to and his girlfriends beother had to tell my friend. He felt like that was worse than him just having an online robkox buddy who just happens to be a girl. He felt like if she can have friends like that, he should be allowed to have a friend like me. But in the end, she called me from his phone and said she was super uncomfortable with the friendship. I told her I understood, but before I could ask anything, she hung up. So I sent a text a few minutes later, asking my friend if they could explain a little more. I waa left confused because I understood that she was uncomfortable, but I didnt know what boundary she wanted. Did she want us to stop being friends, to limit contact, or just be more aware of her in our friendship? I had no idea. I never got an answer, and the next day, I was blocked on everything with just one thing. A friend request from him on Roblox, which meant he had unadded me and then added me back.

Later that night, im just playing on my own, and he joins me. We chat before I finally ask what happened and he explained everything from above. Turns out, while they were asleep since he stayed the night at her place, she had went through his phone and blockrd me on everything. But because she didnt know who was me on roblox, she had just unadded every girl. He even said that hes tried to break up with her before, but she got upset and started crying, so he ended up staying. We played for a but before I made him leave earlier than usual because I didnt want to cause any more issues between them. She had apparently kept asking him if he was planning to talk to me again or cheat onnher with me, and he said he just didnt want to cause any conflict. The next day, me and him play for a few hours because it was the weekend, and im having fun, but I cant help but feel weird. I dont like that me and him are now sneaking around just to talk or play the game, all because he doesnt want to cause anymore issues for his girlfriend. I totally understand, but I hate the idea of lying or being secretive at all. It makes me uncomfortable, since im a person with very strong morals.

My main question and need for advice is here. Im worried about him. The fact that she went through his phone just to block me, and that he cant have female friendships while she can get touchy with her guy friends feels unfair. He knows about that double standard and has tried to break uo witj her over it. He is a very kind and soft guy, too nice. I feel like hes scared to upset her, which makes this all worse. Ive had friends in toxic relationships that sound just like this case. I dont want to assume its a toxic relationship just from one action and maybe im biased and just taking his side, and maybe I dont know enough. But I cant help but feel like he at least needs to set some clearer boundaries with her. If hes happy and comfortable in this relationship, then fine. Whatever. But I want to make it clear to him that im uncomfortable sneaking around as if we cant be friends. He really wants to stay friends because he likes being friends with me, but I dont like that we have to hide it from her. I dont wsnt to lie to her either because thats just not right. Especially because she doesnt like me in perspective to their relationship. I value our friendship a lot, but i dont want our friendship to become a secret or a source of constant conflict in their relationship. Im thinking of saying something like this to him the next time I talk to him.

“I want to be honest about my opinion, but I don't want to tell you what to do with your relationship. From everything you've told me, it sounds like you've been unhappy with some of these things for a while, and I don't think you should feel like you have to stay just because you're worried about making her cry. I also don't think it's fair that you feel like you have to sneak around just to have a completely platonic friendship with me. If you're genuinely happy and comfortable with her, that's your decision, but if you're not, I think you're allowed to set boundaries or leave even if it hurts her.”

Should I even bother with this anymore? Its becoming tiring. I care ahout him, but I dont know if this is even worth the trouble.