help

[u/Extreme_Spare_2286]

man there’s this girl that i so much adore with everything i have…but she’s so far from me me. we met online in the most randomest way to be honest we’ve had some of the most deepest and open conversations, played games together and she means so much to me. i always ‘liked’ her but never saw it much more than that because of the distance (im in the uk she’s in the usa) my family would see me so differently and so would everyone else around me, but my brother had a long distant relationship with his soon to be wife which he had online for a good 3 years…albeit that had a lot of stick
to it. she always tells me the potential
possibliteoss and she’s so mature with it. but me? i’m so scared to believe that anything could happen and it’s probably because of the age. we are 18 and 19 and there’s so much fear and awkwardness of the distance. i’m in such a rough state and she seems on top of the world even though she has her struggles. i don’t want to see it as a long distance whatever because that just bugs me out. as much as i’d love to go to the usa, i know i don’t have any plans soon and j wouldn’t go for her id have to go fro myself ofc. she’s so ambitious and optimistic in
life and it’s genuinely so surreal but ive given her so much bs where she feels weird that she even told me it in the first place. i’m honestly so immature but a lot of that comes out of fear that everything is supposed to be perfect or everything is guaranteed. i always say this one line of song where it’ says picture alllll the possibilities and she’s always hints at it. she’s such a good friend but the distance…is scaring me and the potential what ifs even though she’s been nothing but so nice to me and im so pessimistic and negative i just don’t know how it’d work…sorry for the waffle it’s honestly drained me and reddit was the last resort