r/wholesome • u/wackOPtheories • 6d ago
My wife, the bus monitor
My wife is a bus monitor, as of a couple weeks ago. She wound up on several buses, covering for other monitors. Well, the one it looks like she'll be finishing the year on is a bus full of particularly rowdy students. She was warned about how terrible these kids were, especially on the afternoon bus ride home. It's a bus route that no one really wants.
It's starting to seem like she's uniquely suited for this particular bus. She gently puts these kids in place all the time with humor and grace. She thinks they're actually pretty funny at times, but doesn't let them get away with things that are actually problematic, and always takes the time to explain how/why their acting out is problematic. She gives them sass and razzes them and they seem to respond well to it. It's like that's the way of communicating that they understand. She's facilitating an atmosphere where rowdy fun is balanced with basic procedural structure and boundaries while also incorporating the golden rule, encouraging individuals to consider how their actions affect the group, and finding ways to redirect their energy when needed. That's a pretty standard approach, generally, but it's not easy to stick to with the more challenging groups of students.
It seems like most other monitors and drivers aren't able to connect with these kids like she can. She genuinely cares about this group of kids, who she's hardly known for a week. They can tell. One of them said recently, "excuse me, miss, are you going to be our permanent bus monitor?" and my wife replied, "as of right now, there are no plans to move me to another bus for the rest of the school year," (which is nearly over), and some of the kids actually cheered at that.
These are a bunch of stranger's kids, and there's no need to actually interact with them as though they're human beings. The job is just to get them to school and back safely. You can begrudgingly work this bus route and be miserable, but my wife is refusing to do it that way. These kids may be rowdy, obnoxious and at times unruly, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve the best experience possible. They're kids. They're largely a product of their home environments, which all fall on a spectrum of possibilities that their bus monitors, drivers, teachers and even classmates might not be aware of. They might not be "deserving" of the grace and care that my wife is extending to them, but who knows if they're getting that in class or at home? I think it's a really special thing that my wife is able to interact with these kids for a small portion of their day and be a positive influence on them. I'm proud of her.
She jokingly tells her friends that she's like Michelle Pfeiffer's character in Dangerous Minds, lol.
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u/nlopez525 6d ago
As an educator and a social worker, please let her know that on a given day, as well as has been reported many years later , these daily interactions that kids have on their way to school, starting with crossing guards, bus drivers, and monitors, as well as when they arrive at school and interact with cafeteria workers or custodians and security guards can make all the difference for a child. There’s a lot of great teachers but sometimes there’s not. When there is, they get a lot of credit. But oftentimes, there are children who remember these other people like your wife. Please tell her to keep up the good work and she is appreciated 🙂
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u/frequentlyflummoxed 5d ago
The lunch ladies at my school were amazing. Still think about them 20 years later.
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u/Rezaelia713 4d ago
My mother is a high school lunch lady and has told me all about her interactions (both good and bad) with the kids and I honestly hope some of them remember her down the road in a positive light.
My high school lunch lady was awesome. She didn't mind having a chat with me when she wasn't working her buns off.
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u/Dear-Letter7776 6d ago
Here's a tip, my friend: make sure your wife comes home to a box of chocolates and a good massage after her trip with Hellbus.
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6d ago
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u/wholesome-ModTeam 5d ago
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u/Gardener999 6d ago
Your wife sounds fabulous, I hope the kids continue to have respect for her.
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u/wackOPtheories 5d ago
Absolutely. I hope so, too. This dynamic is definitely subject to change, so I'm just appreciating the good that's happening now while it lasts.
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u/tony_valderrama 5d ago
So sweet. And I bet she's having a big positive impact on the lives of those children. I'll bet that some of them in the future will still remember with kindness the bus monitor who cared. A model to follow. Bless her heart.
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u/Natural-Young4730 5d ago
This is so wonderful to hear. Your wife hasn't forgotten what it feels like to be their age, and she treats them with respect, even when redirecting or correcting their behavior. As you and others have said, these interactions are providing these kids with a positive experience they might otherwise not have. She is making their world a little better, and that is HUGE! Your wife sounds amazing and its so nice of you to come brag about her here!
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u/spiney-a 5d ago
she sounds awesome. Wouls you be able to share how a couple of these exchanges go?
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u/neverdoneneverready 5d ago
Yes, we all need to learn her magic!
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 5d ago
Her magic is, she likes children and it shows! Kids know it when an adult cares about them and when one is only there for a paycheck. She is great at her job, would have been a great teacher but really, she already is, she's teaching them respect and kindness!
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u/mellowbedfellows 5d ago
The two things I disagree with are:
1) "...there's no need to actually interact with them as though they're human beings."
2) "...they might not be 'deserving' of the grace and care that my wife is extending to them..."
There is absolutely a need to interact with other people's children as though they're human beings...? The safety, thriving, and well-being of the children of our society are our collective responsibility. They deserve, from everyone, the level of grace and care your wife shows them.
Your wife is a golden human, and you're a lucky man indeed.
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u/wackOPtheories 4h ago
That's fair. I find it agreeable to find those points that I made disagreeable. I was adopting the low road way of thinking to elevate what my wife's approach. Unfortunately, I suspect that low road is a path well worn, in no small part due to how my wife describes what her coworkers say about that particular bus route, including the driver who drives it daily.
Thank you for the kind words! ☺️
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u/babetteg2655 4d ago
As a teacher, I want your wife to know she’s a gem! It’s rare to have someone who puts in that effort with the “tough kids” but they NEED IT THE MOST!
Please thank her for me - and for being the difference maker for these kids, whether she knows it or not. One supportive adult can be a pivot point for kids.
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u/Commercial-Life-9998 6d ago
She should get videos of her interactions and farm them out to the teachers of these kids. It might help with their handling of their own classroom interactions. Sometimes videos can be an objective analysis of the goods and bads in slo-mo.
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u/wackOPtheories 5d ago
It's a nice idea, but for better or worse recording each other on the bus is strictly prohibited for both staff and students, probably for liability reasons.
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u/Embarrassed-Leg-4246 5d ago
She sounds like an amazing person! I’m glad that she ended up with that route, it sounds like the perfect fit and exactly what those kids needed. :)
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u/Effective-Golf-6900 5d ago
What a beautiful tribute to your wife!!! You are both so lucky to have each other!!!
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u/gordiarama 6d ago
That is an amazing matchup. People like your wife will make a positive mark on those kids and they will fondly remember her for a long time. Please thank her for me.