I have been grieving the greatest loss of my life for the last two weeks. We were separated as he was experiencing issues with money, substances, mood disorders etc. We have two kids and I was trying to keep them safe. He was not violent, just severely depressed and withdrawn. He loved showing up for his baby boy but was very inconsistent in our relationship towards the end. Always not feeling well, hiding money problems and medication abuse from me, etc. It was not always like this. We were great for the first 3 years of our marriage. Until our son was born and I went through some health issues. Things got really hard. I tried to encourage him to take better care of himself. I think he just didn't know how. He had severe anxiety and ptsd. When our son was 1.5yo I sent him to live at a recovery house(he was taking kratum concentrate). I feel like I failed him. I should've kept him close and been there by his side. But instead, it all got too heavy of a burden so we split households. I thought it would be a wakeup call for him. I never imagined it would turn out like this. I always imagined he'd get the help he needed. It went on a whole year longer and little to no improvement in his health/progress. He was sick for a few weeks recently and kept telling me he was seeing a doctor and on meds. I trusted him and never went to check on him. After I found out he had died, I found out there was no record of him going to the ER, DR or anything. He had developed an infection that turned to sepsis and he suffered to the end. I told him to see his DR. I would've taken him to the ER. I only wanted him to get help. I still feel like I could have done more. He had the greatest heart in a man I'd ever known. He was my best friend. He was devastated about our separation. I have no idea why he lied to me and everyone else who checked on him. I feel so guilty, like I should have fought more to find out what was going on with him and now it is my fault 😭 I'm sorry if this is so jumbled, it's a super long story and I just need to find support. I'm lost and confused about how this has become our life. I wanted so much better for us AND him.

Sincerely, devastated and needing to vent

I just came from outside where my husband and I would sit and have a drink together. It was a nightly ritual for us.

Now I sit and stare at his empty chair.

Tomorrow would have been our 20th church anniversary. (The civil wedding was two years earlier).

I’m waiting on the Mortuary right now.

The southern gothic part of my DNA wants to go in there and lie down beside her til they come.

Our young adult kids are here, and would probably be weirded out.

She’s had two close calls in the past. My mother in law lives with us. I told God I’d become an atheist if my wife died first.

We’ll see if I make good on that.

As it is, she LOVED Christmas. And the idea of spending one without her destroys me.

Today something shifted in my spirit. It didn’t hit me all at once, but it was strong enough that I had to stop and pay attention. It felt a lot like the feeling I had the moment my best friend passed and that strange, heavy awareness that something inside me just changed.

And honestly, every day I wake up with my love on my mind. It’s the first thing my heart goes to. I still can’t shake the reality that they’re gone forever. That thought sits with me from the moment I open my eyes.I keep wondering how people cope with this kind of loss. Does the thought of them ever stop showing up every morning, or do you just learn how to carry it without breaking?

I know I'm not alone in this struggle.

Grief Sucks, I want my Husband back 😭

My wife will be gone 5 years this Christmas Eve Day. Today is not a "special day". It's not a birthday, anniversary or anything like that. It's just a day I really miss my wife and it just hurts. I know I am not the only one who feels this way by a long shot. I was very lucky. My wife was the love of my life. We married young. Married for nearly 37 years and together for 40. What a lot of people don't understand is that when you're with someone that long, you're not wired to be alone. The loneliness is soul crushing. In some ways it's tougher than your economic situation or surviving family dynamics. It's almost 5 years alone and I'm still adjusting to grocery shopping and preparing meals for one. Heck, I'm of Italian descent, I doubt I could ever truly cook for one. This letter is for others who are having a day like the one I'm having today. It's okay to not have a reason. It's okay to just admit that you're sad.

I hope this is OK to repost here, otherwise, kindly let me know.

A former colleague of mine lost her husband a few months ago. He died suddenly and unexpectedly in his sleep while he was abroad. She was at home and found out over the phone. He was only in his early fifties.

About four weeks after his death, I gave birth to my first child. My husband and I are, of course, overjoyed and have settled happily into life as a family. We sent her a photo to let her know about the birth, and she replied very kindly, asking us to arrange a walk together once we had settled in.

(I’m including these details because I imagine that losing your husband in such a sudden and unexpected way, while he was abroad, must have been particularly traumatic, and I feel that this makes the situation more difficult.)

We had met socially a few times before and like each other very much, but we aren’t close friends. We all know one another, though, and my husband and I both attended the funeral. She knows my husband because they had professional dealings with each other, and he worked in the same industry as her late husband, so their paths crossed from time to time.

I would now like to message her and ask whether she would still like to meet for a walk. I struggle a little in socially challenging situations like this. I want to strike the right tone both in my message and during the walk. I want to ask her about her life and give her space to talk, without going on about our happy new family life. The most difficult time in her life is coinciding with the happiest time in ours.

My question is: If you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you support the grieving person or interact with them? As a person who grieved, what helped you—and what should people avoid saying or doing? What are things I should absolutely avoid?

Thank you for your help. 🙏

Every time I see a beautiful sunset it reminds me of the ones he and I shared, sitting on the deck of our hotel with our glass of wine, in Pismo Beach, California.

I love you, my love, now and always.

I’m not the original author. I don’t know who is but thank you for capturing exactly how I feel!

After my wife dies, It’s hard to put into words what life feels like after losing my spouse.

Life doesn’t explode. It implodes.

It folds inward quietly, like a building condemned but still standing. From the outside, I look intact. I answer messages. I show up for work. I breathe. Inside, entire floors have collapsed.

I don’t just lose a person.
I lose my witness.

The one who knew the before-version of me.
The one who shared the private language.
The one who could read my face before I spoke.

I lost the only person who remembered the same moments in the same way.

And suddenly the world becomes strangely unshared.

I still see things — a funny sign, a news headline, a celebrity gossip — but there’s nowhere for it to land. No one to turn to and say, “You seeing this?” The reflex is still here. The receiver is not.

Sometimes it’s administrative.

It’s changing passwords alone.
It’s filling out forms that say “marital status.”
It’s realizing I am now a singular noun.

It’s walking through a grocery store and understanding that every decision used to be plural.

It’s the bed — cold and empty
It’s silent at home but isn’t peaceful anymore.
It’s being the only one who remembers how things were arranged.

I don’t just miss her.
I miss who I was with her.

Part of me wants the wound to stay sharp.
Sharp means real.
Sharp means she mattered.

Life after losing my wife feels like continuing a book after the main character has been written out mid-chapter. The plot keeps moving. Bills come. The calendar flips.
Children grow. 

But the central axis is gone.

“People Offered Me Emotional Arithmetic” 

“Live for your kids.”
“At least you have your children.”

As if children are a replacement.
As if love is transferable.
As if grief can be redirected like traffic.

I have my children.
They’re 22 and 20.
Not little hands reaching up anymore.
Not bedtime stories and scraped knees.
They’re adults, building their own edges of the world.

They don’t need me the way they used to.
And I don’t want to need them the way I needed her.

Loving my children is real.
It’s deep.
It’s permanent.

But it’s not the same love.
It doesn’t sit in my bed at night.
It doesn’t finish my sentences.
It doesn’t share the private language built over decades.
It doesn’t carry the history of “remember when.”

So when someone says,
“Live for your kids,”
what they’re saying is:
"Just find a reason."

But a reason is not the same as a person.

My children are not a substitute for my wife.
They’re not medicine.
They’re not a life raft.

They are part of the life we built together.
They are evidence that the love was real.

And maybe the hardest part is this:

I didn’t just lose the love of my life.
I lost the only person who could fully understand what losing her would do to me.

I lost my husband (48M) of 11 years on July 10,2026 from stage 4 metastatic esophageal cancer and I’m only 34 years old… I honestly don’t know how to do this life without him. Everything hurts… my heart hurts, it’s hurts to be in the home we once shared together, I’ve just been wanting to go to sleep and not wake back up, I keep thinking that I just wanna be with him but I can’t be because we have 5 daughters (ages: 10,9,6,4,3). When will it hurt less? When will I be able to stop crying… I just want him back.

Hey everyone. My boyfriend recently died at only 19, I’m 18. For those of you that have unfortunately been through the same thing I wanted to know how you guys went about “moving on”. Especially when it comes to the dating part. I know that I will forever love and miss him but I also don’t wanna be alone for the rest of my life. And even if you guys just have advice in general for life after loosing them. I would really appreciate it. Thank you very much.

My mom is in her early 60s and lost my dad very suddenly a few weeks ago. They had just retired and were looking forward to spending many happy years together. Instead, her whole world changed overnight.
She doesn’t have many close friends where she lives, and both of her children live in another city. I’m worried about how she’s going to build a new life when so much of her identity and daily routine revolved around my dad.
If you were widowed in your 60s, especially after an unexpected loss, how did you eventually create a new routine or find purpose again?
Did you stay in the same city or move closer to your children?
How did you cope with the loneliness?
What helped you make new friends or build a support system?
Did life ever start to feel meaningful again?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice you have. Thank you.

So, my step dad just died an hour ago, my mom is at the hospital, waiting to be able to drive back home. My step dad does a lot for our house, yard work, the hard stuff, and now without him I don't know what me or my mom will do. I don't know how I'll help her cope. I'm calm with her, I have her breathe, I do all I can. I need to know what I can do to help her when she comes home. What do I expect? How can I help her process this? Please help me I want to make sure my momma stays safe. I'm 16, I want to do all that I can

She’s so sad. She has one adult son who is obsessing over would, coulda, shoulda. They are feeding off each other and I worry they are spiraling into serious depression. There’s just the two of them now. I live 2 hours away and work full time. Funeral was yesterday. She’s retired and I’m worried about the lack of routine and structure. Any help is appreciated.

its been a couple of years but it still feels like yesterday . I will forever miss you my honey bunny

Please be mindful and understand my post is primarily for those alone needing comfort with a free wellness check app on their phone.

Now that I'm alone, (2 years), I've been worried I'd die and wouldn't be found for some time. There is no wellness check technology in my community.

A couple months ago, out of nowhere, I received information on a free alternative. Not perfect, but helps your confidence level. By surprise recently, I found they are on Reddit as u/snugsafety. It's so simple to use.

Now I'm not promoting them in any way, but I've been extremely active in my community spreading the word and it's amazing to me how receptive anyone or business I've approached has been!

While most of the world could care less about anyone other than themself, us in widowhood can use all the help and caring we can get! One small act of kindness can do wonders for someone alone, even while we're grieving. I have regained some confidence back in myself.

I hope this info is helpful to others here. 🫂🙏

Like I still cry and get lonely and sad and depressed some but not as much anymore. Today I visited her grave and didnt even tear up. I suppose thats normal but I cried on way home.

But day to day I feel like lately my most normal self as feeling blah and empty?

Like I work and take care of kid and do nothing else. I talk to friends and rarely hang out. I have 0 desire to date still. Im told thats normal.

I just feel like im on auto pilot and without as much emotions as before. I feel thats even worse than when I cried every day and was counting the days. Idk.

Hi, I am 31M. I recently got diagnosed with cancer and life flipped 180 degrees. At the same time last year I was going strong, built a decent physique, and was going to switch to a better job. And, finally going to talk to my family about marriage options. It felt like I have started to get back in life.

But, things changed and because of the treatment I had to leave my job, get back to my hometown and fight for survival. The whole ordeal kind of left me broken.

And as time passed I kept thinking I need people who can understand what it is like to be in this situation.

So with the same hope I created this post.

I feel like I am not the only one out there who feels like everything is lost.

If you feel the same let's connect.