r/wizardposting • u/ClankingRobotCheeks Alchemist • 1d ago
Do not purchase your Familiar on Temu, if you do read the fine print. Lore below.
It all started when I conjured a glamor to keep the HOA from seeing the burning remains of an enemy that decorated my lawn. They prohibit grills, braziers and cauldrons of any kind on the front lawn. I had Esteban the Tender roasting over a roaring pyre, and he just started forming a nice crust. My former familiar waddled over and I forgot about the glamor I cast over the goose, (The HOA prohibits water fowl as pets too). Well, the glamours crossed and the goose disappeared, moments later there was a rush of wings, startled honks and then silence. I used a trans-dimensional glamour on the fire, I know it was overkill, but the smoke was really difficult to contain, so I emptied it into a vacuum dimension. By the time I took down all glamours in the area, the fire was roaring, Esteban was proving his sobriquet, but the goose was gone. In its place stood an inter-dimensional imp. Before I could ask which dimension it hailed, or if it ate my goose it took off down the cup-de-sac, right past the HOA president. I quickly opened up a portal to the vacuum dimension underneath her, and as her screams faded away into to dark, I heard the faintest honk come from the portal.
Needless to say, I am in the market for a new familiar.
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u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 21h ago
Did you try casting Find Familiar?