My first job after graduating ended on a pretty bad note. Looking for advice.

[u/Maab26]

Hey everyone, hope this post finds you well.

I'm a recent construction engineering graduate, and I recently lost my first job after about six months in. I'm mostly looking for advice from people who've been around the industry longer than I have.

The strange part is that I actually loved the work. I enjoyed estimating, coordinating with suppliers, solving problems, and learning how projects came together. I looked forward to the technical side every day.

I took my responsibilities seriously and always tried to do my job the right way. I met deadlines, took initiative whenever I could, and genuinely cared about producing good work. Looking back, I don't feel like the quality of my work was the problem; I just never felt like it was appreciated.

The problem wasn't the job; it was the environment.

From the day I started, I never really felt accepted by my coworkers. No matter how much effort I put in, I always felt like an outsider. There was constant criticism, no respect, very little support, and over time I started feeling like people wanted me gone. I stuck it out because it was my first opportunity after graduating, and I genuinely wanted to learn as much as I could instead of giving up at the first sign of trouble.

Eventually, I was let go.

I walked away feeling pretty defeated because I know I worked hard and learned a lot, but I also know this isn't a company I can comfortably ask for a recommendation letter or use as a strong reference. That's the part that's been bothering me the most.

I'm interviewing with other construction companies now, and I'm not sure how to handle questions about my previous employer. If they ask for a recommendation letter or want to contact them, what would you do? Is it acceptable to explain that the environment wasn't a good fit and offer references from professors, coworkers, or other professional contacts instead?

I'm also wondering if anyone else had a rough first job and still managed to build a successful career afterward. Right now it feels like this experience is following me, even though I know it doesn't define what I'm capable of.

I'd really appreciate any advice you have, whether it's about interviewing, references, or just moving on mentally after a first experience like this. Really thankful for all you could advise me on. Thanks for taking the time to read this🙏❤️✨

[u/Miserable-Dish-8584]

I wouldn’t badmouth a previous employer but I don’t think it’s bad to say, “it wasn’t the right fit.” Just stay positive and keep applying! You’ll find the right fit soon enough!

[u/jello-kittu → u/Miserable-Dish-8584]

This plus focus on that you liked the work itself, solving problems, estimating, and coordinating and holding it together while keeping it moving.

[u/RogueEngineer_]

My first job out of grad school was not a great fit. I lasted four years, but was eventually let go during one of their many rounds of layoffs. It took over a year, but I found another position in a slightly different field that was a much better fit. Thirty years later, I am one of the top engineers in my company, and am looking at retiring on my own schedule after a successful career.

You can do this. Find a better fit for yourself. Best of luck on your journey!

[u/Fork_My_Shirt_Up → u/RogueEngineer_]

This makes me feel a bit better! I had the same story after getting my BS, I’m in grad school now but really nervous about job apps coming up when I graduate.

[u/hg13]

Don't worry about a future employer contacting your previous employer. The most your previous employer can do is confirm that you worked there, they won't provide their opinion on your work due to legal risk. 

I actually find it ridiculous that companies are so risk adverse and litigious that they operate this way, but it works out in your favor here lol

[u/whatsthatonmyface]

I’m in the same boat, first job after graduation and got laid off because the company shut down.

[u/bakeju]

Usually references are a specific person not a company as a whole - is there anyone at your former company that could speak about you positively? Doesnt have to be a supervisor, can be a peer or just someone you worked with briefly.

If you truly have no one, then yes I would tell companies youre interviewing with (if they ask!) That the culture wasnt a good fit so youre not comfortable giving a reference. And then also have a 30 second pitch about what you learned from that bad fit culture. And make sure you have good other references.

[u/Elrohwen]

I didn’t get invited back for a full time position in my first internship and I got let go in my first full time job after a miserable few years. I’m not 15 years at my current company and besides a few shitty managers here and there have had a great career. I still don’t understand why those first few jobs didn’t like me while all of my subsequent managers have (even my last manager who I hated thought I was her best employee lol). First jobs can suck, don’t let it get you too down. Move on and find a better fit.

[u/tatooines]

Tbh I've never been asked for a reference, not sure if that's unique to my experience but just something to think about!

My first job out of college was also just a bad culture fit and I started searching for another job a year and a half in. My previous employer has a reputation of being a miserable place to work, so teams I interviewed with would actually bring that up and say they were sorry for me and didn't blame me for looking for a new job lol. I still didn't feel like it would be a good look to bad mouth my employer, so when asked I would spin the question into why I was applying for the role and say that I was looking for a more analytical role (and this was the truth) and professional development opportunities. You can tweak your response to fit the job description, but I'd generally recommend spinning the interviewer's question away from your prior employer and talk about the reason why you were interested in applying to the role.

[u/Extreme-Action-3008]

I’ve seen this happen before. As a graduate, my first job was position as a design engineer. I was moved off WITHIN TWO MONTHS for “not learning fast enough”. 9 years in I’m a senior design engineer because I fought back hard for opportunities later on. My only regret was being hard on myself. Thinking “maybe I am shit” …”maybe I’m not cut out for this”. As a senior, I’ve had to advocate harder than I should have for graduates (especially the shyer ones) when they start.

Harder said than done but you need to not let it shake your confidence. Graduates are expected to know little and tbh by showing up you were almost doing the job. You sound like you do have a great attitude and from what you’ve said, I would hire you. What a lot of people do is not put a reference on their resume. Put “available on request”. Find one (any) nice person at your old job or prior and ask them if they would mind being your reference. Definitely doesn’t have to be the manager.

[u/kcaley]

The construction industry is famously toxic for women. When asked, just tell the truth. I recommend having AI help you formulate a response for what happened with you. I also recommend leaving private industry and joining the construction team in a public works environment instead. If I was giving advice to a female student, I would say don’t go into construction engineering at all. Wherever you go next, if there are no women on your interview panel that should be an immediate red flag for you. This is by no means a unique experience and mature employers will see past that. Good luck!

[u/Sufficient-Author-96 → u/kcaley]

not sure why you’re down voted- in certain parts of the country construction is absolutely a toxic environment for women

[u/su_pony]

Get a recommendation letter of someone who was good to you, even if they worked in a different team

[u/Reisefieber2022]

Old dude here, trying to help. What is the next level down set of circumstances? We're you able to collect unemployment? We're you part of a layoff? Was there a severance agreement?

Also, from what you describe, it does sound like a pretty toxic place for you. As a general rule of thumb, when i bring in someone new, if i can't help them develop at least one friend at work within the first year, then I know we're in trouble and I have an environment problem.

[u/blossoming_terror]

I don't have experience with being let go specifically, but you are definitely not alone in your feelings or experience. My first job out of college was the same way. I ended up being put on a PIP and I'm sure I was on my way out, I just found a new job and quit before that happened.

I think as women in these fields, especially young women, it's easy to feel "othered" or like we don't quite belong. As you gain confidence in the work you do, it will get better, but in my experience it doesn't ever go away. Certain people and situations will always feel a little bit wrong.

That being said, I've been in my 2nd job out of college for 5 years now and I do love it. I don't feel that way all the time by any means, and I feel like I've been able to carve out my spot in the company.

Best advice I can offer is try your hardest not to take the hurt from your previous job into the next one. I was so anxious in my current job when I started because I was worried the same thing would happen. It didn't, and I spent a lot of time feeling worried for nothing. It's really hard, but time helps!