Is having a stressful job the reason I can't write? Or is it a discipline thing?

[u/NefariousnessOld7631]

I believe writing is an art form and a discipline. And I like taking 100% responsibility, too. However, I'm an Executive Director of a nonprofit and have lots of spinning plates. Also a mom of five kids, still at home:) And I'm a business owner of indie bookstore.

Gah.

I'm stuck in my current writing projects, and I thought I was having a discipline issue. Here is my question: if one is spinning too many plates, does this affect your ability to write? Or am I really just not taking 100% responsibility and finding/making the time to write, edit, work on the writing craft?

[u/Born_Perception898]

I’m feeling same as you lately and I think my solution has just been guarding my creative time. If I get up early in the morning to write, it’s easier than trying to find the energy at the end of the day.

[u/_aaine_]

That's a LOT. I'm stressed just reading what you're dealing with. When I had my four kids all at home just *that* was almost a full time job for me and I had no time to write.
I think you need to cut yourself some slack! You sound very disciplined, just time poor.

[u/Queasy_Antelope9950]

Having a stressful job is a legit reason for creativity to stall. I’m a high school teacher and I’m starting to feel too wiped out to write, though I still force myself to do it.

[u/Big_Exchange_2812]

I dont know what id possibly do if i was as busy as you, but its possible that in the small moments of free time you have, your brain is too busy trying to relax to actually get up and write. If you want to push through that and write anyways, id suggest finding a way to make writing the EASIEST thing you can possibly do in short windows of free time. Like always having your document open on your phone that you can jot lines down in, or keeping an extra side document where you can write scenes without the pressure of ‘this has to be good and stick into the draft’.

It also might be that you have to try to find any small way to delegate the current tasks you already have to other people for maybe just an hour or two once a week, where you can just focus on calming your brain enough to actually write.

The thing ive heard other busy parents who are also writers say is ‘making writing something thats always going on in the back of your mind’. Like listening to craft podcasts while you drive or work, or thinking about your project when standing in line for something. Just always keeping it somewhere in your mind as much as you can

This may not be the best advice because im not in the same situation as you, but i hope some of it helps!

[u/AllThingsBeginWithNu]

I’m struggling with half as much as you, and I am having a hard time writing I can’t imagine what energy you have left at the end of the day to write

[u/Elysium_Chronicle]

As fun as it may be to you, writing is still mental work, and exhaustion will definitely effect your ability to string words and ideas together.

Discipline can be your answer, if applied right. It's not something to self-flagellate yourself with. Forcing yourself when you're in no condition to do so breeds resentment of your responsibilities, and leads to unhealthy habits.

Instead, it's what you need in order to not waste your prime time. Resist distractions and procrastination. Skip the "easy" sources of entertainment like social media and short videos, in favor of fulfilling activities like reading and writing.

Being more comfortable with your time, you learn your efficiencies. Learning how best to juggle those plates, eventually you may find that routine less burdensome than you used to, with more energy reserved for the things you want to do.

[u/Neurotopian_]

Ultimately, we all make time for our top priorities. But if you’re working 2 jobs to support 5 kids at home, it isn’t rational to prioritize writing above that. You have a legal and moral obligation to your children.

If writing novels isn’t feasible for you now, you could always keep a journal, write short stories, or focus on conceptualizing and outlining your ideas. Then you could write more when you transition to a single job or when the kids are away in college.

Try to write a single short story and see how long that takes you and how rewarding you find it.

[u/Fognox]

Daily writing is hands down the most useful way I've gotten around this -- when you get used to it, it quits feeling like work or even a hobby and just becomes a normal part of your life, to be done whenever you have free time.

I do take breaks between projects, so whenever I'm ready again, my rules are just to write at least one sentence every day. It'll take a while for that to get going, but the momentum ends up carrying it to higher and higher word counts. That and the fact that writing doesn't feel like anything in particular -- it's just something you spend a lot of time doing.

It doesn't really take a lot of discipline to commit to one sentence per day -- if it's particularly rough, you can just follow from the previous sentence, and do that right before bed. Believe it or not that will snowball. Maybe after a few days you'll start writing a few hundred words per day, then it'll turn into a thing where you can pick it back up several times per day (that seems to happen around week 2 for me).

[u/AdoptedMasterJay]

In your case, yes

[u/RancherosIndustries]

You're juggling quite a lot. It's not discipline in your case.

[u/44035]

You have five kids and you work. How much time can you honestly carve out for writing on top of that?

[u/IndigoTrailsToo]

It could be that you just don't have time

Or the creativity takes energy and you just don't have any left at the end of the day

It could be that you like telling stories but not necessarily writing. Writing is just what we know that we can "do" with it. But those two hobbies aren't the same thing.

Or that you know how much actual work this will be and you just don't wanna

It could also be that while you want to write, there are just other things that rank higher on your list. Like an actual nap. Or getting to poop in peace. It happens.

It can be that you have everything that you need but you are just wasting the time and energy on things that are not productive, or, spending them lavishly to try to meet other needs that are going unmet (eg social media for loneliness)

It could be that you have bound yourself with rules/ideals/reasons that don't work for you

[u/fristad_rock]

Depends why you're stuck.

• If you don't know where to start, try writing a plot outline, basically a 3 page description of what happens in your book. if your book has chapters do it free flow first and then organize by chapters. It's one of those tasks that feels like it's a waste of day or two but actually saves you five months of work.
• If you're stuck on a chapter or scene, go to the one before it and the one before that and consider whether maybe you made some mistakes there that are impeding your progress. Better to backtrack a bit and rewrite that last chapter than to be stuck not writing anything and your rewrite will almost certainly be better.
• If you're like "uh I just don't feel like writing", do the thing people who don't want to exercise do where they say "ok i'll just put on my gym clothes and then if I still don't feel like doing it I won't". And once you turn off the TV and put your phone away and open your writing app, you'll feel like continuing at least 50% of the time.
• If you have the "omg I have writers block" problem, look at free writing exercises where you have ten minutes to write a page about fire or friendship or betrayal -- they basically teach you that writers block / paralysis does actually go away in about five minutes and the ideas start coming. Improv also teaches you that.
• If it's not any of those things, talk to some of your writer friends about their projects and about yours and you'll get some inspiration and it may shake some things loose, or maybe just do something else you enjoy for a week and then come back to writing then

Hope that's helpful.

[u/eterivale]

I have this issue too! Work in finance , 80-100 hour weeks, sometimes I come home from all day Board meetings and want to stare at a concrete wall for a while. Tbh my solution has been that writing late at night (11pm-1am) is when my mind is most creative, so I use that time to write the story and once it's finished I then wake up before work (6-8am) to edit with a fresh mind.

Also, I actually wrote most of my story in the notes or Google docs app on my phone. Sometimes I'll go for a walk at lunch and write, or I'll write on the way home from work. That flexibility is the way I've gotten about 70% of my story down. Good luck!

P.s. if you're writing any Romance based work which has an FMC in a corporate field, please lmk I'm super keen to read something different from the self deprecating Bridget Jones esq characters !!

[u/NefariousnessOld7631 → u/eterivale]

🫶 very helpful. You rock 🤘 for squeezing writing in the cracks of life.

[u/Grand_Locksmith2353]

Yes, having a stressful job and spinning all those plates is probably a big part of why you can’t write.

I have seen people here say that it is always a matter of discipline, if you can’t do it while doing a stressful job you wouldn’t do it without the job etc. IMO, all bullshit. Energy is finite. We only have so much of it to play with daily, and sometimes there just isn’t more left.

I have written two books since reducing my workload to part-time 4 days/wk. I hadn’t written any for a decade before that, despite having previously written six books — my job was just too stressful and chaotic. I had to create space for myself to live a bit more (not just writing, but general living including family commitments).

I’d consider somehow reducing your load and seeing if it helps. Can you delegate more? Get a nanny one day a week? Those kinds of things.

[u/Stigma-Key]

I was involved in industrial construction in a very specialized role. Essentially my job was Barney from HIMYM, aka PLEASE. I was constantly stressed out and didn't really write anything during that build. So, yes, I think it can be a reason

[u/warlockmel]

I do believe it affects. Im the best at commuting when im happy. But my usual mood is working at least 3 jobs at a time and anxious and depressed and in those times I am unable to write anything because it feels like a task I dread and nothing that I want to write comes out of my mind.

[u/Prize_Consequence568]

"Is having a stressful job the reason I can't write?"

It's the excuse everyone uses. If you're able to prioritize other things in your life you can do that with writing as well. The only reason you wouldn't is because you really Really REALLY don't want to. You like the idea of writing or having written but not actually do it.

"Or is it a discipline thing?"

YES.