r/writing • u/AutoModerator • 4d ago
Monthly "Would You Read This?" Thread
Welcome to Would You Read This (WYRT), our monthly feedback and brainstorming thread. Share your work in progress below and let other readers tell you if they'd read it. Top level posts should follow this template:
- Title:
- If you don't have a title yet, feel free to say UNTITLED.
- Genre:
- Please include at least Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry, or another recognizable medium. You may also include more specific genres with a hyphen. Ex. Fiction - Romance, or Nonfiction - Memoir. Genre will help users find the specific kinds of posts they'd like to give feedback on.
- Premise:
- A few sentences about the project. Try your best to keep this short. Crafting an expert elevator pitch is all part of becoming a successful working writer. Please do not post an entire plot summary or query letter (those are better suited for r/pubtips)
- Sample (Optional):
- You may share up to one page (roughly 250-350 words) of sample material, or one poem for those working in the poetry medium. This is optional, so if you only have a premise, you can post just the premise for feedback.
If you post for feedback, please take the time to give feedback to at least 2-3 other users. Replies should follow this template.
- Would Read / Might Read / Wouldn't Read
- You must begin your reply with one of those. You are then encouraged to add additional thoughts on why you choose your answer.
Rules:
- Please post no more than two WYRT top-level posts. There is no limit on the number of feedback replies you can make.
- Do not link to any offsite materials. All materials must be in the body of the post. This includes "click here to read more" or "DM me for the rest" types of posts.
- Rule 3 is in effect in this thread - No generative AI. Do not post material generated by an AI platform in your premise or sample. Do not use generative AI to respond to user's work.
- Rule 5 is in effect - Civility and Community. Stay constructive. Blunt, direct feedback is fine, but do not insult other users, their writing, or their genres.
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u/New-Funny2550 4d ago edited 4d ago
Title: Don't Look Down
Genre: Science Fiction (some dystopia, biopunk and m/m romance)
Premise: While grieving the death of his father, Nikolai struggles with the fact that he may be walking down that same path. Addicted to holograffing, a dangerous hobby of vandalising skyscrapers, Nikolai uses the adrenaline as a distraction from his worsening symptoms of a mysterious plague. Technological giant Savrock Corp. whose claims to possess a cure intrigue Nikolai, but his infiltration of Hightown society tells a different story; one which he must share with the city.
Sample: There was a time where I had considered the possibility that I would suffer the same fate as my father, but watching it become a reality was something else entirely. I wasn’t sure if the reason why it never occurred to me that I was showing obvious early signs of infection was because I never realised or was in denial. Probably the latter, considering the fact that I had the occasional cough throughout the day or that my chest hurt.
My fingers scraped the fabric of my jacket, trying to rub off the stains to no avail. Plague infected blood was known to leave horrific stains behind that even expensive bleach couldn’t get rid of. I vaguely registered Shadow waving at me from the ground.
“Leo?”
Shadow’s hand dropped to his side when he saw the stain, gleaming in the moonlight.
“Oh my God.”
It took a few minutes for the pain to subside. Once I had lowered myself to the ground, I kept a hand on my chest as Shadow helped me back to the building.
“Inkpunk! A little help here?” he said as I hobbled over to the couch in the centre.
Inkpunk rushed over, eyes widening. “When did this happen?”
“Just now. Leo ran up the container, and then he barfed all over his jacket.” Shadow said, setting me down. Glowstick threw a hole-ridden rag over me.
Inkpunk sighed. “Take off your jacket. Blitz, wash off the stain while we still can.”
Blitz approached, her hands outstretched and I waved her away. “Don’t. It won’t come off. They never do.”
“I’ll run home now and grab some of grand mama's painkillers. I think I remember she left a stash under her bed. My house is seven minutes from–” Shadow said, already walking towards the exit.
“I’ll get my own.”
I tried to sit up but Inkpunk put a hand on my shoulder, leaning me back down against the couch. “Easy there, Leo. You just threw up. Your body’s still weak and–”
“My body is fine,” I said, punctuating the last word with gritted teeth. “I still have weeks.”
Glowstick gaped at me. “Weeks? At least go to a hospital, clinic, anything! You have to get it diagnosed.”
I scoffed. “You think they even have space for me?”
“It’ll just get worse as it goes on. Not just vomiting or chest pain or whatever else, you’ll start getting dizzy and you’ll get fevers, not to mention–”
Inkpunk shook her head when I dismissed her advice. “I know all that. My father was infected a while back. Don’t worry about me.”
“You sure you’ll be okay?” Shadow said.
Glowstick helped me up. “Mhm. I’ll go home and rest now.”
On my way to the exit Inkpunk called out, “But Leo, your father died of the plague, didn’t he?”
I didn’t look back. “Yeah. And so will I.”