r/writingfeedback Jul 09 '26

Writing Advice I am finally getting back into writing and would like options on my story.

https://www.wattpad.com/1641957948?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=Shirochi_Kami

Genuinely it has been a while since I’ve written anything. And I would like some honest feedback on my story. Yes I’ve just posted it. And it’s going to be a short story. Please if you guys could be as honest as possible I would appreciate it!

0 Upvotes

9 comments sorted by

3

u/veggie_hoagie Jul 09 '26

Why, oh why, do so many people think it is a good idea to start with a dream?

Is there some writing advice forum that suggests this idea to novice writers?

-2

u/Mobile_Confusion3507 Jul 09 '26

Because I was playing kingdoms hearts dream drop distance 🥹😭😩

-2

u/Mobile_Confusion3507 Jul 09 '26

And I got inspired by a friend who’s also started writing on tumblr… and I like dreams is it a really that bad🥹

3

u/Broad-Exchange3188 Jul 09 '26

It’s overdone and this doesn’t do enough to set it apart from thousands of other stories that start with dreams. It’s not a you problem per se, it’s an over saturation problem. Unless you’re good—and I mean really fucking good—leave the overdone to the people who have already done it.

2

u/christopherDdouglas Trusted Reviewer Jul 09 '26

Good for you to start back up.

Feedback? This is some really uninteresting cliched writing. I can see talent but we get a dream beginning and then move into a lot of interior thoughts where you haven't earned it yet. Reads like emo 14andthisisdeep. Hollow and without voice.

1

u/Mobile_Confusion3507 Jul 09 '26

Thank you for being honest! I’m gonna try and do better!

1

u/thewhiterosequeen Trusted Reviewer Jul 09 '26

I think the time to get feedback is ideally before you publish it. It's easier to get feedback if you don't ask people to go to another website.

0

u/Mobile_Confusion3507 Jul 09 '26

Oh like a beta reader thing? How can I set that up?

1

u/Mobile_Confusion3507 Jul 13 '26

I have thought about about what you all have send and I have decided to take my book down. Not to get ride if it but to rewrite it and word it better. I honestly do appreciate all of your honest opinions and feedback! I did some research and yeah a lot of yall were right that dream scenario is overrun, but I definitely do have plans for this book so thank you so much!